Things that are too cool/trendy for me

but of course I want to experience.

• A Mike Vick Chew Toy. My dog would love one of those. I'm sure your's would as well.
  
• Wu-Tang may finally release their new album after I forget how many years. After all this time I still am somewhat excited about it. This video kind of helps to get me in the mood.
• They're making flying saucers and god knows I want one. I mean how cool would it just be to freak out some of your friends if they happened to be under the influence. It is totally the perfect and new hottness toy.
• Amtrak is offering free booze up to $100 to select customers on select trips. Now all I have to do is find an extra few days and a reason to take a train across country. No matter the hassle it will still be far more pleasant than flying. And if its not, booze has a way of killing pain.
• For Barack to learn basic international politics and realize that his year and a half of foreign policy "experience" doesn't qualify him to be president. Canada has a prime minister, Mr. Obama, not a president. Careful there, your naivete is showing. I don' see what the big deal with Barack being "black" is, I mean either way you slice it Bill Clinton and Warren Harding were already Black Presidents, its old news now.
• I know this is old news at this point but on my wish list is for this 5 year old tennis player to have some sort of normal life, as tough as that may be. (the 9 year old Man U soccer player I guess I care about his future but he is Australian; he's already doomed. J/K, He has a great name.)
• These Republicans, I mean are they all gay? This is getting a tad ridiculous. The president of the Young Republican National Federation "performed an unwanted sex act" on some guy. I mean c'mon. Come out of the closet, you can still be a conservative asshole fuck and sleep with men. Just look up these guys. And for a real good time you could always enlist and go to Afghanistan and score some "primo" smack. All the cool kids are doing it. (and this thing really reminds me of Buffalo Soldiers)
  
• The Colbert Report is releasing a "Best Of" DVD. Get Excited People. That is all.(though speaking of television I wish I had a kid for the sole reason of I would have an excuse to watch this show, it looks incredibly...interesting. Screw it, I'm sure I have Nick Jr. somewhere on my satellite)
  
• I want to be an aristocrat. Their lives never seem boring.
• You know, I think I do need a skeleton of a 4 year old Chinese Girl. Hopefully this lawsuit goes through than I may be able to pick one up at the most bizarre yard sale ever . (And Madonna Wayne Gacy was always one of my favorite names in that band)
• And finally I saw this on Best Week Ever's website and it was too good to pass up. I mean my day of pure materialism is always Wednesday. I'm still planning on waiting for them to work out all the kinks before I buy one, but it is so pretty and so damn cool:
  

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