Things that are too cool/trendy for me

but of course I still want, or want to experience.

• I don't actually own a watch, I think the last time I did was in high school, I've just relied on my cell phone, but maybe I'll change my habits for one of these new Nooka (funny word) watches. They look really cool and "hip" and apparently all the cool kids have them as well.
  
• To drink one of the new Low Alcohol Wines. On second thought, never mind; I'm not nearly that mature and I always enjoy being wine drunk. And I really don't have the time to drink 2 and a half bottles.
• Maybe I'll just drink a Diet Coke instead. Did you know they're 99% water? And water can't be bad for you. Soda is though. bad soda, bad.
• For the new Eye Password technology to become prevalent, because sometimes I really don't want to put forth that effort of pushing numbers, and who knows who all has touched those things. Filthy I'm sure.
• And anyway hands are becoming quite obsolete. Why should I use them when I can just control my iPod with my mouth by clenching and grinding my teeth. It's so convenient and inconspicuous and is a great jaw workout. Hands; like the new tails.
• Though I would need them to workout with the Kettlebell. Apparently they work more muscle groups than any other exercise and the results are fantastic. That's exactly what I need. My body could always be in better shape.Too bad I'm lazy or maybe just sans motivation.
• But with a hat like this no one would even need to look at my body, they'll all be too impressed and jealous from the neck up. My head will blow them away. Headpieces are in for like the first time since the 40's. And they are so pretty (some of them at least) I want one. So classy, retro, feminine and gorgeous. Now I would just need a place to wear one. Time to find a more sophisticated group of friends, and by sophisticated I mean old.
• Then maybe just once in my life this would happen to me. (god, I had forgotten how amazing this movie is)
  

(and no I don't care that Bill Murray's a drunk; he's so romantic and loves American law so much he believes it should override foreign sovereignty. AKA a dreamboat)

Sphere: Related Content