I Wish To Be The Moon Tonight

Sorry. Today I have had my focus and mind in a million different pieces, on old friends, future jobs, apartments. And whenever I have to write something that I deem important its hard to not have that work on your mind, no matter what else you're doing, and right now I have one and a half letters (I've been working on one unsuccessfully for the last week) to write to the love of my life at this moment, dearest Hubby, I also need to call one of my good friends from Duke and also a really old friend from middle school who I'm getting back in touch with, plus two "life update" letters to AmeriCorps teammates (coming out is fun!), and all the attendant stress (at least for me; I always feel as if I need to entertain in a way, to be all that they expect or at least fulfill my expectations of what they're expecting)

And so I'm oddly happy and content with life, (when you feel love and that someone cares about you it tends to make you feel that but there is so much I can't iron out but like I can't keep a..thought that is not jumbled with so many others. I'm barely coherent to myself right now. Which is why I'm looking tonight to focus on something more than myself and to be calmed by wonder. At around 3:30 tomorrow morning there will be a lunar eclipse [Update: that should be between 1:30 and 3] where the moon turns red. On the West Coast it is supposed to be particularly visible and vibrant but this page has more information and about how it may appear where you are (and thanks to google analytics I know I have people in illinois, new york, iowa and irvine reading this ::knocking on wood::) I'm sure that 500 years ago it would have been a sign of the apocalypse, but know it is perhaps an occasion only for insomniacs, seekers or midnight tokers.

I am actually really looking forward to it. I usually sleep with a mask over my eyes and last night was no exceptions but I guess it was uncomfortable so last night I removed it for a second and saw the clearest and brightest full moon I can remember seeing. It was breathtaking and I stared through my windows for quite some time. I can only imagine what tonight will bring. Hopefully it will not clear but organize my mind yet still remind me of the beauty of it all.

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