Friday, August 31, 2007

The Good and the Bad of Having a Celebrity Parent.

Firstly since this people were famous they had to have been attractive with great genes ( americans don't like to watch ugly people) So odds are you're going to be quite gorgeous. For example:
When I first saw the picture on the right (or as it is laid out, the picture above), of Ingrid Bergman I thought it had been mislabeled and was actually her daughter Isabella Rossellini (on the left) I mean they look exactly the same.Fabulous cheek bones and skin. People always tell me that I look exactly like my mom, which isn't a really bad thing and if I end up looking as good as she is at her age I'll be quite content, but I had never seen the effects of genes or whatever this clearly. (and now I pretend to be sad because, barring major major scientific breakthroughs my genes die with me)::sighs:: [and that was going to be the whole post because I thought the fact they look like the same person would be enough, But as I tend to do I decided to "make a day" of it. You'll see]
Downside: You're always going to live in the shadow of your far more famous and accomplished mom.

Secondly you're probably going to be loaded ( I mean rich but they'll probably end up loaded on prescription and nonprescription drugs.) Even Britney's kids. Somehow, in the custody proceedings that she's in her financial records show that she's making almost $740,ooo a month! ( straight cash, homey) I'm assuming this figure comes from when, y'know, she was still working and not busy rehabbing, breaking down, shaving head, rehabbing, breaking down, forgetting what underwear is. Otherwise, how? Does she still have that perfume line? Is that where it comes from cuz I don't think they actually pay for crazy. So somehow those kids aren't going to be poor and in foster care anytime sign.
Downside: Your parents, in this case K-Fed and Britney, are crazy and white trashy. Odds are you'll end up the same and spend a lot of your inheritance in therapy or on posting bail. Well that and buying Skoal.

Thirdly you're name is famous internationally before you can even speak ( which probably isn't a good thing, but I need something to somehow fit in this next item.) Or let's try this; your parents lifestyle will probably teach you to be tolerant and nonjudgmental and open to all types of people. Last night my esteemed and beloved LME cofounder got into a rather heated (I'm not sure why) discussion on though Suri is cute as hell, if there's no way she'll have a normal life and she has already been irreparably damaged by her parents (cough cough Tom.) Especially her closeted Scientologist (would I be sued if I said he seduced me and had sex with me after the results of my Scientologist Personality Test were revealed, all the while screaming in the throes of passion " it's a cult, yeah Scientology is a cult, baby"?) to me movie star of a father that can't be good for emotional development (and yeah she does look just like him so I believe she's not an alien, unless she's from the planet InV itro.) And of course you're going to end up in therapy for years, after growing up seeing your mom live like this

(via Radar)
Upside: Now you're adorable. Downside: You'll always be your dad's girl.
(and yeah most of this post was just an excuse and a set up to show that Katie Holmes video. Eh, sue me. {please don't})

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