Celebrity Justice, I Heart You So Much

As I'm sure you've heard Li(ndsay)Lo(han) of the multiple drunk driving, cocaine possessing, car borrowing, black guy accusing, high speed chasing variety plead guilty and got a day in jail. After all that buildup and hope we couldn't even get a felony charge? Not even a week? I hesitate to say special treatment but...
At least she may have to spend a night in jail. Nicole Richie did 82 minutes (minutes!) in custody, but was only in a cell for 35 minutes before she was released. On certain nights it takes me longer to cook dinner (and here's a delightful list of other things you can and can't do in the time Nicole spent paying her debt to society.)
Yet they sentenced Paris to 45 days and made out like it was the apocalypse when she got house arrest after 4 and was released after serving half her time. Compared to those two, with her street cred, she's like the 2pac of celebutantes.
And does it make me a bad celebrity sycophant that I don't care at all about the Phil Spector case? I mean the trial is broadcast every day and there are always updates that I sometimes skim, but I really don't care about it at all. It's kind of like the Robert Blake trial; I guess the fact that they become famous and has beens before I was born made me not care about them personally or to think of them as celebrities. Well that and Phil Spector is really crazy and guilty as sin. Or maybe I'm just growing up...no, probably not.
I think the reason that celebrity justice amuses me so much, besides the fact that people in the rest of America get really upset about it and I can't get that worked up about something so trivial, though that hypocrisy and favoritism is so obvious and exposes so many flaws in our criminal justice system, is that I still believe I'm going to be a "staah" and when that day comes I will demand the same treatment.
(though thinking about it is Lindsay Lohan still a celebrity because of her acting(?) because she hasn't been in a good movie since Mean Girls. Nicole Richie has never done enough to be considered a celebrity. So all I need to do to get celebrity justice is to live the lifestyle and convince the media that I actually am a celebrity. I think it might just work.)

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