I've Had This For Waay Too Long...

This first appeared in Radar a month or so ago, which means in Internet time it may as well have been printed in the mid to late 1990s. But I just read it again and it's still fantastic. It's an article counting down the 10 ways the Early 90's Changed the World. I suppose my ever increasing 90s nostalgia may contribute to how much I like this article but whatever works. Any piece that connects the sideburns of the actors on 90210 to the September 11th attacks is just irreverent enough for me, and fits me to a T. My favorite, however, has to be how Gangsta Rap influenced the Bush Administration:

Then
Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy Dogg's 1992 breakout song for Death Row Records, "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang," promoted the vainglorious West Coast gangsta culture of violence and misogyny. Their message, a reclamation of American aggression absent during the wimpy Bush Sr. Administration and the bourgeois reign of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and court jester DJ Jazzy Jeff, proved so popular that it spread all the way to the East Coast suburbs, where we got their Beltway counterparts ...

Now
George W. Bush and Karl Rove, the gangstas of the cold-blooded Bush Administration (gang sign: four and three fingers). Like Dre and Snoop, the duo isn't afraid to pop a cap in someone's ass (Saddam) or endlessly boast ("Bring it on"), gives similar props to death row (152 executions in six years in Texas), and passes legislation that disrespects women (except for Condi). And they've always got their homies' backs (Libby). In stores soon, the major-label release of MC Rove (warning, warning that video is terrifying)

Note to the editors though, Crystal Pepsi was AWESOME; I miss it so. If I could somehow bend the universe and create a time machine...
Maybe it was my ten year old brain but it was so cool, and practically speaking if you were to spill it it wouldn't leave such a stain. I actually think that since they discontinued it I've boycotted it (or maybe not, but I think that's a great idea that I will now followthrough on. Boycott them until they bring back Crystal Pepsi.) Now go forth my minions ::insert maniacal laughter::

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