Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Your Stuck in my Head Song of the Day

Today's song is one of those songs that I love just because it got stuck in my head for absolutely no reason that I can pinpoint. In fact I don't think I had actually heard the song for a few months but who knows? Maybe something wanted me to have an easy time writing this post tonight. Anyway the song is Forever Lost by the Magic Numbers and it is such an upbeat breezy kind of 60ish infectious that its easy to stay lodged in your head once its in there. Especially with its clap along chorus (don't let the sun/be the one/ to change you baby/ i wanna learn how to lie/ if i'm to know/cuz I wanna go where the people go/cuz I'm Forever Lost.) I had never listened or knew the lyrics before but looking at them in research for this but I realize they speak to me more than I knew
"Looks like I'm driving
My friends all crazy
They say that they don't know me anymore"
But whatever it's a really catchy song and I love the female vocals ( a band made of two pairs of brothers and sisters-so 60s), and the video is really really cute too,(if I was ever animated this is so the style of animation I would want to be drawn in.) So here's Forever Lost by the Magic Numbers off their 2005 eponymous (I like that word) debut. Voila

a domani.

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Great Minds of Coaching

Simple and direct; thats the kind of guidance the kids need today. Another classic piece of journalism from the Onion News Network

NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast'

Ricky Bobby would be proud.

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I Think I Just Threw Up in My Mouth

So He Who Will Not Be Named is coming down to Dodger Stadium, with his band of losers (ha! last place!) for a 3 game series. I should be more apathetic to this thing considering how everyone not wearing black and gold knows that its gonna be a b.s. moment branded in history with boos and asteriks but I just know that he's going to do it against the Dodgers, because it seems that he always gets milestones against us (and i had a feeling that if this day would ever come it would come against us- 71*, 500th steal, 500th homer, ugh). And the whole thing just offends my sense of decency . If I was a manager, and I've been saying this for at least 5 years, any time he came to bat I would have my ptichers throw at his head and I would gladly take the suspension and fines. I would be a hero for ever.
So I'm hoping that over the next three days whenever he's introduced that we don't boo him as we do, it only feeds his steroid enlarged head and ego, but rather just silence, I'm talking like crickets, or everyone at those moments can turn their back to the field and not acknowledge it. It's impossible to organize 5 peoplenot to mention 50,000 but how awesome would that be? I know people are going to go and cheer and be loud, its the fuckin' Giants who I've hated since before I was born (they cheated in '51), but those moments will say a lot. When they were playing the Cubs in Wrigley I remember Sportscenter showing fans who were boasting about how much they hate him and how much they were going to boo him, but it seemed that the only time there was an enthusiasm in the stadium was when he was at bat when it seemed the whole crowd was standing, which really pissed me off, especially because The Unnatural noticed. The Padre fans did it right last year with the syringe on the field (and that will be the last thing I ever say good about the Padres)
So fuck him, eat a Dodger dog whenever he's at bat and don't give him the honor of your jeers. He's not worth and the Giants, they're going to lose anyway.
I feel so bad for Vin Scully, but I know if it happens he'll handle it exactly like he needs to, the right way; he always has.
Here are a few things I would rather do then witness that moment:
Try to use a bathroom in J0-Ann's Fabrics.
Be a sheep in this guy's town.
Have her as my teacher (possible Harry Potter spoiler; I didn't actually read the article)
Watch Kelly Osbourne in Chicago, nightly
Be Britney Spears right now.

Whatever. Let's go Dodgers, and welcome to your blue heaven Scott Proctor

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Hmm..Maybe I should have paid attention in D.A.R.E.

then I suppose none of this would be a surprise.)
Bad news all my "seekers of higher consciousness" friends, apparently weed is bad. Not Reefer Madness bad (the stuff in that movie is hysterical, you should see it), but still "harmful" (though if it wasn't would it be as fun?) Anyway a slew of recent studies have shown that one joint does the same damage to your lungs as five ciggies, excuse me cigarettes. (But of course most semi functioning people in society don't smoke five joints a day so the occasional recreationness of weed should be taken into account versus the supposedly more addictive cigarette. ) Not only that, studies now believe marijuana can increase the chance of psychosis later in life.
With scientific research like that I kind of feel like I shouldn't point you to this article from Radar which tells secrets on how not to get busted, incredibly really great tips from an ex-police officer. Its a good read for anyone really. But that would be irresponsible, just as irresponsible as showing you these videos (and more) that you can enjoy while baking or baked. That would just be wrong.

Turn on, tune in, drop out (hmm, they didn't say anything about LSD...)

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Happy (Belated) Anniversary John and Elizabeth!

I would be remiss and a bad person if I didn't acknowledge and congratulate John and Elizabeth Edwards on their 30th wedding anniversary. Here's hoping yesterday was a Pearl of a day (get it?) And if you didn't have enough reasons to love them, the fact that they spend each anniversary at Wendy's where they spent their first, has to tug at your heart strings(they are so cute!) not to mention your stomach strings(?)
But anyway congrats again and may your 32nd anniversary be spent at a Wendy's in the District (i'd say this one)

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Best Band Ever*

(*according to me, at this moment, subject to change)
Hmm these Best Band Ever* things are pretty stressful but on mornings like this I remember the old maxim "it's just the marine layer; it'll burn off" which hopefully it will (it is so cold right now I was almost tempted to wear a jacket to walk the dog.)
But I guess something so L.A would come to me on the day when I try to profile a criminally under appreciated artist whose songs on my favorite album evoke a certain L.A. Of downtown and trolley cars, a world twinged in sepia. Sort of like a James Ellroy novel, but without the violence and corruption. That was a very random way of saying in honor of his show tonight at the Largo today's Best "Band" Ever* is Michael Penn.
I first heard of Michael Penn I'm guessing around 1999 or 2000 when I was being very moody and emotional because of the fact that a girl who intrigued me seemed to love everyone except for me, and our friendship as well seemed to be melting away. Anyway it was on MTV2 and, as they used to do they had an artist on air for about an hour where they programmed it with the artist's favorite videos. Aimee Mann was on and one for the video's she showed was Michael Penn's "Long Way Down (Look What the Cat Drug In)" it was a staggeringly amazing video but after marveling a few times at the video (and I really wish I had planned this better because I can't find the video anywhere except for maybe here), the lyrics and the melody, in the end appealed to me the most with their romantic melancholy. And they totally summed up how I was feeling at that point, almost like I had written them about my situation, a feeling that all great songs give. (and the line "and if I wear Apathy's crown, don't call me highness"-wow, simply killer) I was hooked and I later found out that Michael is Sean Penn's brother; it was probably the Penn that gave it away
In those days of Napster I stumbled upon his song No Myth (Romeo in Black Jeans) from his first album March, and the lyrics are superb. The man really knows how to write a song, even when including Heathcliff and Astaire while writing a song about lost love and missed chances. (and apparently the video won him a MTV video award. Bizarre. You can watch it here.)
During AmeriCorps when I was sent to Arizona to work with the Red Cross on the Rodeo-Chediski fires when I was in Flagstaff I remember going into a record store and finding in the used CD section Michael Penn's "Free-For-All." I listened to that album pretty exclusively for a while and its imagery, especially when I was so far away from home, connected a lot with me. Songs like Bunker Hill (Hey Luanda, do you want a thrill? We can watch the lights shine up from Bunker Hill. But if it put your heart at ease, my baby please...) and Strange Season (my baby won't come out at night, they took apart the Angel's Flight for this, Strange Season) make me think of a different L.A. and get nostalgic (even the cover does) but thats not just it, really just the whole album as a whole is damn near perfect. Try to find it if you can; its been in and out of print (bastards!)
He's also been featured on the somewhat uneven I Am Sam soundtrack performing "Two of Us" with his wife Aimee Mann (probably the best singer songwriter power couple I can think of), a version that I actually prefer to the original Beatles'. Here's a live version

It is really such a shame that he hasn't made it "big" not so much for him necessarily I know he has to be quite happy with his life, though he totally deserves "mainstream success", but for the general public and fans of well crafted songs. Like his song Walter Reed from Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947, where comparing love to a war, and subsequent injuries result in a (now ironic) longing to go to a place for recovery, and once again the lyrics are great. Here's that video.

(and I know as At the Drive In once said in a MTV2 bumper, quoting Frank Zappa, that "talking about music is like dancing about architecture" but it is the only way to get the "word" out, and if it does, this guy is dancing far better than I can)
So for all of those reasons, along with the fact his website is really cool and he's a cat person, Michael Penn is the Best Band Ever*.

Long Way Down (Look What the Cat Drug In) (mp3) buy it
Macy Day Parade (mp3) buy it

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Monday, July 30, 2007

Your Stuck in my Head Song of the Day

Well the last few days I've been in sort of a funk and all of today I was really sort of upset for a variety of reasons, though I hope I didn't betray too much of that in my "posts", as mediocre as they were. Anyway today was one of those days when I had a couple of songs stuck in my head but one was, as befitting my mood, kind of dark and depressing. Over the past few hours after having a much needed talk with my mom and a few other things happening as well, the other more upbeat song came to me more and more and since I don't like to have the last thought I leave people with at night be a sad or negative one I've decided to use this song (and the other song will totally be in my head again and I am positive I'm using the band for a BBE* so no worries) So your stuck in my head song of the day is What Are You Afraid Of? by West Indian Girl.
I'm pretty sure the first time I hear the song was on KCRW a few years back, probably while on the 405, but the psychedelic neo-hippie vibe really stuck with me ( I shouldn't have been surprised; they did name themselves after a strain of acid- damn hippies) plus I really dug the lyrics and they seemed important. And not to be too philosophical but the questions "what are you afraid of?" "what are you made of?" "what are you fighting for?" "what are you dying for?" are all questions that we should ask ourselves whenever we feel we need to get back on the right track or to center ourselves where we need to be. Because asking those questions should show you what is important in your life.
Plus once I saw the video I was hooked. I'm a sucker for butterflies and flowers and happy endings, especially when they involve elephants, but I'm sure you knew that already;) So enjoy:

A domani...

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Political Porno (now with semi pornographic content)

These are just a few random links that I've come across. And I don't know how I feel about knowing Political Porno is a relatively common term- I really thought it was something I came up with. Yeah, I was wrong. Anyway on with the (peep)show:

  • Recently discovered e-mails have shown that the RNC officials, including one of Karl Rove's assistants, conspired to suppress minority votes in 5 states during the 2004 election. And of course none of us are surprised, though I'm sure Lee Atwater would be quite pleased, bastard.
  • Speaking of dicks, vandals in Idaho have either shown their disdain and distaste for their governor, or are just really into cock jokes. (via wonkette)
  • The New York Times attained 30 some letters written by Hillary Clinton during her college years to a platonic friend and as I was reading them, or at least the excerpts, I was struck by how smart, in that emerging college intellect way, she was and also by how full of doubt and turmoil and questions, aka pretty much like everyone who lives through that age is. And though her commencement speech was remarkable (and apparently spontaneous) and showed evidence of her skills, it was still really good to see how normal she was and that she is a real persona and not some political automaton and they make me like her even more, but also how I fear some of my own letters that I have been writing seem similar and how I should probably have my pen pals form some sort of secrecy pact. (and I'm not sure if that paragraph made sense at all)
  • You know how Taryn Southern expressed her sapphic feelings towards Hillary?(how could you forget.) Well everyone's favorite libertarian posing as a Republican has garnered some LGBT support of his own, in the form of this policy orientated and well researched video

They must really be against a constitutional marriage amendment

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Finally a good Sports moment

In what has been a horrible time for sports, what with the whole Mike Vick thing (and I hate hate hate how the NAACP is now making this seem about race by organizing a support Vick rally; I'm pretty sure they didn't show such restraint in the Lacrosse Case), the rampant doping at the Tour de France,the NBA betting scandal, He Who Will Not Be Named about to break the home run record Skip Prosser dying and (it has just been reported) Bill Walsh passing away from Leukemia all around it has been probably the worst period that I can remember, (though luckily not as bad as Slate writes, it always could be.)
But in the midst of all that was a really good place at Cooperstown where Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Jr. were enshrined in the Hall of Fame. I know its been said to death (and ESPN's camera certainly played along, with repeated showings of a sign reading Classiest Class) but they were two humble and selfless and seemingly pure gentlemen who played the game the right way. I could never like Tony as much as I should have because he did play his whole career for a division rival but there's no way you could hate him as a person, he was so quiet and unassuming and just did his job. But he has started along the Kirby Puckett route of being very fat and square after they retire. Hopefully he can work on getting healthier.
And then there is Cal who is like a God to me (with amazing deep blue eyes) and along with Griffey the only non Dodgers I consider among my favorite players. I remember watching his 2131st straight game and when they rebroadcast it yesterday I still got goosebumps when they unveiled the sign. He was just so steady and (maybe a little too) iconic but he's who you would want your kid to idolize.(and when I was in AmeriCorps in Perry Point, right across the river from his hometown of Aberdeen his museum which was preety damn cool even to cynical me.) And they both made such great speeches about doing the right thing and the responsibility of being a role model are really what they great ones and the Hall of Fame should be about. And when Cal started crying talking about his wife, of course I started to tear up, of course I cry at the drop of a hat where for guys they can only acceptable cry over sports and I guess their wives.
It was a great day. But the only thing that cast a strange note was sitting right behind Cal's family was John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston and when Cal started to cry to his wife, right over her shoulder you could see Travolta wearing some stupid sailor hat and blubbering. what was up with that?
But no matter; Congratulations once again gentlemen.

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Things to Do this Week

for the week beginning today and ending August (wait! its already August?!) 5th

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Monday Morning Cuteness

Well this weekend could have been better, but one good thing that came out of it was discovering this video. Its quite a simple premise; baby eats lemon-hilarity ensues. And according to Buzzfeed (love them!) I'm not the only one who finds babies in pain (not like severe pain) hilarious and really really cute. I found this clip here at the Amateur Gourmet and I couldn't stop laughing for quite awhile (does that make me a bad person?) and plus I had to post it today because of the song (cosmic)

It's still so good;haha. I have a feeling that I'll do this a few times with some of my kids. I am so mature...

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Friday, July 27, 2007

Your Simply Amazing Stuck in My Head Song of the Day

Well what do you know? Just like I "assumed" on Wednesday today's stuck in my head song of the day is Flesh Failures/Let The Sunshine In from the American Tribal Love-Rock Musical, Hair. It is a truly tremendous song and is my favorite from the show. I was originally inspired to have this song in my head when Godspell came on and I noticied that along with musicals like Jesus Christ Superstar, there seemed to be some sort of Jesus Chic or an urge and yearning for a figure who might resolve the turmoil and lead everyone again to the brightness of a future. And I would like to believe the summed up the despair yet still hope of the time and the prayer for a better world. As I think do the lyrics to this song

We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes

Inside something there is a rush of
Who knows what stands in front of
Our lives
I fashion my future on films in space
Tells me secretly

Manchester England England
Manchester England England
Eyes look your last
Across the Atlantic Sea
Arms take your last
And I'm a genius genius
And lips oh you the
doors of breath
I believe in God
Seal with a righteous kiss
And I believe that God believes in Claude
Seal with a righteous kiss
That's me, that's me, that's me
The rest is silence
The rest is silence
The rest is silence

Our space songs on a spider web sitar
Life is around you and in you
Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie

Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Damn hippies ;)
But I didn''t have such grand thoughts in my head when I thought the song would be perfect for tonight. I was merely thinking that I needed some sunshine because I plan to spend a lot of time this weekend at the beach reading Book 7 ( yeah I still haven't started it. But I think I've proved my point that I am not soo addicted that I coudln't live without knowing for a few extra hours, not to mention days. I'm pretty sure I win) and getting a nice tan with a Nalgene full of mojito yumminess. I'll enjoy and I hope you enjoy this song.
Here it is in the 1979 movie version

Let the sunshine in my friend, let the sunshine in.
Flesh Failures (Let The Sunshine In)-(mp3)
[UPDATE: I almost forgot my Simpsons theme/goal for today so here's a poster for the movie including every character from the show, almost like they are in a field singing songs about sunshine.

There. Done and Done. And I mean Done.]

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The Musical Simpsons

One of my favorite aspects of the Simpsons is their incorporating catchy original songs into their story lines. So here are a few of those songs that I love, in no particular order. I'm not saying this is a definitive list, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feeling, just some I like and was able to snag a clip of. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

This has my favorite ending of most things I know " He lied to us through song; I HATE when people do that!" From the episode Homer and Apu

Homer & Apu Medley (mp3)

"Sorry; Gotta admit its catchy" from the episode Two Dozen and One Greyhounds

Two Dozen and One Greyhounds medley (mp3)

This is a great and incredibly underrated song. It's Lisa's Union Strike Folk Song from the episode Last Exit to Springfield: "They have the plant but we have the power" Love it

Union Strike Folk Song (mp3)

Lisa honoring Bleeding Gums from the episode 'Round Springfield: "When the Jazzman's testifyin' the fathless man believes

'Round Springfield medley (mp3)

I wish I could help keep the metric system down. Good thing the Stonecutters Do, from the episode Homer The Great

We Do- The Stonecutters Song (mp3)

I really like this episode. Community theatre doing A Streetcar Named Desire as a musical called "Oh, Streetcar" Simply Brilliant and Marge flys! From the episode A Streetcar Named Marge

"Oh, Streetcar" The Musical (mp3)

This is a really sweet (as in cute and endearing) clip from the episode Stark Raving Dad. Things like those make me wish I had a brother (you know, who cares and stuff) Anywhoo

Happy Birthday Lisa (mp3)

When the great Troy Mclure (r.i.p.) has his comeback after those troubling incidents at the aquarium he is cast as the human (its the part I was born to play) in Planet of the Apes The Musical from the episode A Fish Called Selma. ("down in front!")

A Fish Called Selma medley (mp3)

"But Main Street's still all cracked and broken/ Sorry mom, the mob has spoken" in this wonderfully festive song from Marge vs. the Monorail

"Mono- D'Oh!"
The Monorail Song (mp3)

Speaking of festive here's Tito Puente's guest starring turn on Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part 2.) I assume this is his only lasting contribution to society.

"That rotten rich old man"

And finally the B Sharps with their grammy award winning smash Baby On Board as performed on top of Moe's Tavern ("it's been done") in the episode Homer's Barbershop Quartet

The B Sharps- Baby on Board (mp3)

(most of this songs, and many more can be found on Amazon)

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It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere-Animated Edition

I've had a horrible day so far so I really need a drink, but when you're talking about the Simpsons only one drink (besides Duff of course) comes to mind; The Flaming Moe,errr, Flaming Homer:

The Internet is full of people's attempts to recreate the Flaming Momer, because the ingredient "every kind of liquor in the house" is a little vague, so here are a couple of variations:
From about.com

  • 1 oz brandy
  • 1 oz peppermint schnapps
  • 1 oz sloe gin
  • 1 oz blackberry liqueur
  • 1 oz strawberry juice
  • cough syrup
  1. Pour all ingredients except the cough syrup in a highball
  2. Stir.
  3. Add cough syrup.
  4. Ignite and extinguish before drinking.
From idrink.com (and here's the Flaming Moe spinoff)1.0 oz. Blackberry Liqueur
1.0 oz. Brandy
1.0 oz. Peppermint Schnapps
1.0 oz. Sloe gin
1.0 oz. Strawberry juice
Directions: Mix all ingredients in a tall glass. Add cough syrup and ignite. Extinguish and drink.

MMMMM... just remember happiness is just a Flaming Moe away

Flaming Moe's (mp3)

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The Best (According to Some)

Tons of websites have been in Simpsons' Retrospective and "best of" mode and here are a few I found that were somewhat interesting. There were plenty of list of "Best Episodes" but I know that those would lead to me becoming somewhat contentious because how could you choose the only Ten Best, how would you narrow it down? I know I couldn't do it, one reason being that certain episodes speak to you at different stages of growing up and life, and there's always the possibility that you know, you can't remember all 400 or so episodes. But whatevs.

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Today on Evergreen Terrace

Today is the day millions of people have been waiting years for. As you may have heard The Simpsons Movie finally is released today and so in honor of it I'm going to (try to) do a day devoted solely to those with four fingers. We'll see how well that works out. Anyway I must admit when I first heard news that they were doing a movie I was apprehensive. I mean I didn't know what exactly they could do that they haven't done in the past 18 years, and plus over the past few seasons the show has been a little spotty. But as a lifelong fan I was always going to give them the benefit of the doubt and over the last few months I think their marketing campaign has been brilliant and maybe got people like me, who at first were a little skeptical, excited again. Very Very excited. I still have no idea how the movie is, but I don't really care I'm loyal and I must support.
So I'll start today off at the beginning (because I have no idea how else to start such an experiment) with the first ever "episode" of the Simpsons when they were still shorts on the Tracey Ullman Show (or you can watch it here with director commentary)

and here is a reminder of the First Wave of Simpsons Mania, where they were everywhere and doing anything, including having Bart make a rap video. The song was big enough, at least for an 8 or 8 year old me, that I still remember it today. So for Old Times Sake, "[Everybody] Do The Bartman"

Aww, we were all so young and innocent then...but what were we thinking?

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Your Simply Amazing Stuck in My Head Song of the Day

As promised yesterday your stuck in my head song of the day is The Beatles "Martha My Dear" and as much as I thought I would have to fudge this post this song actually was in my head for all of today. It is Thursday and I can't help but think of Hubby on days like this and so the lyrics touched me and stuck with me from yesterday until today, and probably for a bit more.

Martha my dear though I spend my days in conversation
Remember me Martha my love
Don't forget me Martha my dear

Hold your head up you silly girl look what you've done
When you find yourself in the thick of it
Help yourself to a bit of what is all around you
Silly Girl.

Take a good look around you
Take a good look you're bound to see
That you and me were meant to be for each other
Silly girl.

Hold your hand out you silly girl see what you've done
When you find yourself in the thick of it
Help yourself to a bit of what is all around you
Silly girl.

Martha my dear you have always been my inspiration
Be good to me Martha my love
Don't forget me Martha my dear
The lyrics are so beautiful and anyone whose beloved is away and wonders if distance will dampen feelings can relate to the song. Too bad it was written for a dog, by Paul for his sheep dog Martha. (Easily the best song ever written about a dog- feel free to correct me if you know better) I'm totally in love with the "when you find yourself in the thick of it/help yourself to a bit of what is all around you, silly girl" line, I think its a good way to live life. Aw, Hubby would like this song :( ::sigh:: Anyway, as you probably know by the time of The White Album the Beatles hadn't been touring for years, or making videos, so this song doesn't have a proper video but here's one I like; pictures of Paul and Martha, his dear, while the song is playing. I think its cute but more importantly enjoy the song.

I must say they were quite a good little band.

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TMI: Self Discovery through Pop Culture

This is probably going to be a little lean because this post, by its nature of me trying to remember things that happened over a decade ago and also the fact that I'm not drinking right now but I'll try cuz, I've done this once so its tradition.
Anyway as I watch Ugly Betty explain the difference between transvestitism and transsexuality, and Alexis Meade describing various feminizing surgeries, it seems an appropriate time as any, and I did say on Tuesday that this would be my topic if not earth shattering happened in my life so... andiamo. Oh wait I didn't really tell the topic umm...early signs I was different? Does that work? Whatevs; I still don't believe anyone actually reads this, so its just me and my therapist.
(I'm going to use the power of the internet to research a few dates so I know how old I was for certain things, though I prefer to do this in a rambling stream of consciousness style.)
I have a memory of being in some toy store and really wanting, I think it was, a female He-Man action figure that I really wanted to be and dreamed about being, which according to wikipedia was called She-Ra. The site claims that they discontinued the line in the middle of 1987 so I guess this had to be when I was no older than 4, which is wow! I had no idea I had any memories of anything that early. But I know I got that doll, I mean action figure and I remember playing a lot with her tiara.
The next relevant memory I have is when I was shopping with my grandma in some mall thats no longer there. I was still really young at this point I think, and my grandma and I were in some beauty store maybe, with like hair accesories and the like I guess. But I remember trying on a plastic headband (an "Alice Band": I like that) and wearing it around the store. I remember walking out of the store still wearing it and one of the workers rushing out to get me. I must have been young because I think it must have been written off as a cute innocent thing. I remember up until 2nd grade I would only play with girls; I remember jumping a lot of rope and then when one of my friends got hurt by a speed walker I remember crying over it. Like a lot. Like enough where the teacher had to console me, and I may have gotten to go home early. I think it was the middle of 3rd grade, maybe during a semester break (did we have those in elementary school?) I went to a church camp up in the mountains (the first time I saw snow!) and at a cafeteria lunch I remember the girls raving over my eyelashes and how cute I looked; I reveled in that. (God I was such a queen; its a tad embarrassing)
But I think it must have been sometime before this when, getting back to the pop culture point of this post, where I guess my mom and I were watching the Sally Jessy Raphael Show ( I am so dating myself with that.) The topic was something like parents who raise their children as the opposite gender. I was incredibly drawn to the show and I remember one of the guests; she was I'm pretty sure a Hispanic kid wearing a bright red dress with a really festive and ornamental head wear (in my mind I have a mental image but I think the exact memory has probably been corrupted by Ma Vie En Rose) and her mother was so accepting and I remember wishing that that would be me and that I could do that. But some socialization and knowledge of gender norms had sunk in because I knew that I shouldn't be too excited to watch it, or betray too much enthusaism because I didn't know what my mom would think. But I think I used it as a segue to ask her if there was anyone in our family who had had a sex change and apparently there is (some second or third cousin in Louisiana.) I'm trying not to cloud this to much with me analysis and implanting thoughts for 8 year old me. But maybe that gave me some type of hope and a realization that changing yourself wasn't something that only happened in the movies. I guess I was entering some sort of latency period (Freud is still b.s.), or probably just an acknowledgment that I wasn't the way "I was supposed to be" but of course I never stopped thinking about it. There was some case in the news about a girl suing to become a boy scout and as I was walking home from school I angrily wondered why a boy couldn't be a girl scout and then imagining my life as a brownie (wow these memories are actually really embarrassing) And according to this I was 8 at the time, wow, wow. On the first episode of X-Men the animated series on the first episode Morph died and I know he was my favorite X-Men because I wanted his power to change into whoever I wanted. According to this the show premiered in 92. And whenever anyone asked me what superpower I wanted if I could have any I would always say the ability to morph, though I never admitted it was to change into a girl. Actually I still want that power. But around this time I guess The Crying Game came out and though I didn't see it for years after I found out the secret and was so so so jealous of Jaye Davidson, hell I still am (such a gorgeous boy) plus the theme song was sung by Boy George who had always been one of my heroes just how he was so feminine and pretty, and I was definitely looking for signs of my "normality" and role models at this time.
As any good tranny worth her salt I remember dressing up in my mom's clothes whenever I was left home alone, and I missed a good number of days just because I was bored and I'd like to believe to smart for school, and every time I would get dressed I would try to keep the clothes on for as long as I could to just imagine that I could always be that way. I'm sure my mom had to have noticed the remnants of make up on my face and maybe some clothing slightly misplaced, but she said she didn't know.
When puberty hit, I don't know exactly when it started, I was incredibly confused by it all and since my brother and I never talked I had no idea what was happening so my mom got me one of those "What's happening to my body" book for boys, and I guess it came in a pack because there was also the girl version, which of course I would always secretly sneak away to read then hide it under my bed. Around the time my grandma died, when I was close to 13 I remember everynight praying to be turned into, just for a day, a girl, and because God could do anything I kept praying. But nothing ever happened of course, and my grandma died, so my faith in God hasn't really recovered yet. In the early 90's talk shows were everywhere and a common guests were the transsexuals and I probably watched too many of them but every time one would come on I would marvel about how pretty some were and wanted to be some of them, though I just wanted to be a normal girl and not necessarily have to go on television because of it.
A few more anecdotes; the first orgasm I ever had was reading a transsexual erotica story about a boy dressing as his sister for her wedding and of course I had no idea what happened when It happened, but yeah I had the internet and I would constantly be on transgendered related sites and looking for information, since I was about 12. Michelle's Midday Break was my favorite. Then when I was 14 my mom and I went to Chicago for her sorority convention and I remember going to the Victoria's Secret on Michigan Avenue and buying a bra, panty and garter set and felt incredible awkward as the attendant tried and failed to hide her giggling but a more matronly saleswomen was talking to me about control tops. My mom found these clothes; she had begun a habit of snooping around, and told my pediatrician, who was a pretty close family friend, who upon seeing me for an appointment asked me if I was having sex and when I replied no, asked me when I did in the future would it be with boys or girls I replied sheepishly girls; I knew the consequences of saying boys, but after my mom being so open when I came out I sort of really wished I had the courage to tell her the truth back then. I could say I missed ten years of my life but I wasn't ready and had no idea how to handle it. And plus, I still have plenty of time and things worked out for the best.

(yeah I know that was long and at certain times had no narrative form, but I think I did it more for me and once I started writing more and more memories came back and some even shocked me.There was definitely TMI. Okay this has been really long; I'll do my teenage years later, or maybe my theories on "causes" who knows- I'll probably forget.)

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Sad News

Breaking News: Wake Forest's Basketball Coach Skip Prosser died today. I may have mocked him mercilessly and hated his name and team when he was in Cameron (it is the ACC) but its always said when someone dies. Especially at 56 and so suddenly, collapsing while jogging. I feel really bad for his family. And his team as well. Sad, sad.
This post totally broke whatever theme I was working on today, but sometimes real life intevenes, and this is far more important.

Ok back to regular triviality later.

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Do We Need James Bond to Stop Mark Cuban...

I mean, has he become an evil overlord yet? In recent remarks Mark Cuban, who I personally like (except when he's badmouthing Phil Jackson) has proclaimed the Internet is dead and for "old people." Cuban actually seems to know his shit, and believes cable networks work more efficently than the "traditional" internet (how long does something have to exist before its traditional?) so maybe its time to blow this popsicle stand; I wouldn't want to be uncool, obvi. Its probably close to time; I mean I could see this coming a while ago....and I wouldn't want this to happen to me as the world's must trusted news source, The Onion News Network, is reporting

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

Each day we are getting closer to 2012...

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And on the subject of P*ssies Endangering Health...

In a really roundabout way... I'm not really sure; I'll just let Team America explain

Oh I get it,and Goldifinger would tie in from the last post as an asshole...so are we saying James Bond is a dick? I don't believe it. Look at this man; I don't see dick when I look at him except for...well, y'know


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Speaking of Feline Bringers of Death...

(Or: "im on ur bed causin ur deth")
I was just kidding yesterday when I sort of said cats were evil killing machines but this story is making me reconsider. A cat at a hospice in Providence has been killing patients, or as the attendants would prefer to believe is merely predicting their deaths. From the story

Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours.

Oscar the cat doesn't like to be put out in the hall when a patient is dying.

His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means the patient has less than four hours to live.

"He doesn't make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die," Dr. David Dosa said in an interview. He describes the phenomenon in a poignant essay in Thursday's issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.

The 2-year-old feline was adopted as a kitten and grew up in a third-floor dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center.

After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He'd sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.

Dosa said Oscar seems to take his work seriously and is generally aloof. "This is not a cat that's friendly to people," he said.

I wouldn't imagine the cat would be too friendly, and I know I wouldn't be too friendly to him. The thing is obviously evil and how freaked out would you be if you were a patient and this cat hopped onto your bed; I would totally use up all my strength trying to get him away (and yes I know if you're in a hospice you really don't have the strength to do that and in many cases might welcome the Real Reaper)

I suppose it is more comforting to think that the cat is consoling or preparing these patients to move on rather than causing their deaths, but in situations like this I remember a quote from the book Goldfinger where Goldfinger confronts Bond "Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence but three times is Enemy Action" I wonder what the 25th time is. I'm scared now; I think I'll do what my cats want...

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My Cats Like Milk...

but I'm pretty sure they hate me. All they do is sit away from me, try to escape whenever I hold them and basically ignore me whenever I call them. Which may be par for the course with cats, but now even my whiny and needy one, who may think he's a dog, is doing it too. And of course me being as overly sensitive as I am I feel that I must have done something wrong, do they not like their food? are they bored with having the run of the house? I'm trying to figure out how I annoyed them (and its amazing with all this guilt that I constantly feel that I'm not Catholic.) But I guess thats why I love my cats and cats so much because they are a mystery and you have to win their love over and over again, unlike my dog, he can't get enough of me. My cats seem to only acknowledge me when they're hungry.
Bu they're soo adorable and I still love 'em and have faith that I can mold them just like on the Simpsons--hey they have a movie coming out tomorrow-- from Lisa's First Word

Homer and Marge visit Stinking Fish Realty. But they have problems
finding a proper house -- or the proper neighborhood. The first one is
too violent. The second house is located next to a rendering plant.
("Mmm...hog fat"). {The third one is Captain McAllister's houseboat,
where the good Captain's sales pitch is interrupted while he wrestles a
Great White.} And the fourth is full of cats.

Marge: Once we get the cats out of the way, it won't be too bad
Agent: Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd
be their tenants!

Lisa: I wish we lived in the kitty house.
Bart: I could've trained them to be my unholy army of the night. Go, my
pretties! Kill! Kill!

Yeah I've sort of, reluctantly, given up on that goal myself

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Let's Try This

For most all the other weekdays I have like a gimmick or a dedicated posting, like Best Band Ever* on Tuesdays, but I haven't found anything thats stuck for Thursdays, so we're going to see how well I like this.
Anyway Thursdays (used to be) or maybe still are the most important night for commercials and advertisement on primetime; thats why Thursdays have generally been so hotly contested over the years. From Must See TV, to CBS's C.S.I. inspired dominance to ABC's recent Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. But since movies used to come out only on Fridays, not so exclusively anymore, studios would throw tonnes of money to advertise their films on Thursday night. So with that history I thought Thursday's would be a perfect or nice enough day to show some commercials that I think or thought were hilarious, innovative or just really really cool. Well for that reason and the fact I don't think I have any thing else.
Slate.com has a slideshow about the 12 different type of ads, which is pretty enlightening. They list the 12 types of ads as

The Demo:This is a visual demonstration of a product's capabilities. You've seen hundreds of demo ads on late-night TV, for things like kitchen knives (watch it slice through that tin can!) and stain removers (it can't possibly erase that red wine blotch—and yet!). Some of the ads introducing the iPhone are just straight-up demos, pointing out the product's features as the viewer looks on.

The second format is "show the need or problem." First, you make it clear that something's not up to snuff in the consumer's life. Then, you introduce the remedy—which is, of course, the product you're selling.

The third format is a variation on showing the problem. This time, you employ a "symbol, analogy, or exaggerated graphic" to represent the problem. In this Theraflu ad, for example, the problem is that a man's flu symptoms make him feel like an ogre. Thus, the ad portrays him as a literal ogre. When the man takes Theraflu, he returns to human form.

The fourth format is "comparison." Here, the spotlight's on the claim that your product is superior to those of your competitors. In this Charles Schwab ad, a man complains that he hates his current stockbroker's hefty commissions. At the end of the spot, Schwab promises a better deal.

The fifth format is the "exemplary story." These ads weave a narrative that helps illustrate the product's benefits. In Gunn's words, the key is to create "a situation where you'd use [the product] and be very glad for it."

The sixth format is "benefit causes story." You conceive the ad back-to-front, by imagining a trail of events that might be caused by the product's benefit. In the example Gunn uses, a man on a safari screams when a lion charges him. It's then revealed, to the amusement of the man's friends (and also the viewer), that he's been looking through the powerful zoom lens of his Olympus camera. The lion is, in fact, hundreds of yards away.

The seventh format is "tell it"—also known as "presenter," "testimonial," or "A-tells-B."

The eighth format is "ongoing characters and celebrities.Think Jared for Subway. Or the Energizer bunny. Or the Geico cavemen.

The ninth format is the "symbol, analogy, or exaggerated graphic" demonstrating a benefit of the product.

The 10th format is "associated user imagery": The advertiser showcases the type of people it hopes you'll associate with the product. Often these will be hip, funny, or good-looking people. But sometimes the associated users are goofy or geeky—it depends on the target market.

The 11th format is "unique personality property." These spots highlight something indigenous to the product that will make it stand out. It could be the country of origin (a sports car boasting about its German engineering). It could be the product's unusual moniker ("With a name like Smucker's, it has to be good")

The 12th and final format is the "parody or borrowed format." This is a popular approach these days, perhaps because pop-culture references have become our common language.

But besides all the info, it included a lot of my favorites commercials and reminded me of a lot of great ones of the past. Speaking of great ones from the past, here's one of the first ones that I can remember actually thinking was really smart and funny and actually made me feel really really bad for the guy. I think this was among the first ads for the California Milk Board (or something like that) and their brilliant "got milk?" campaign.

Ah, milk...

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Your Simply Amazing Stuck in My Head Song of the Day

Today I had three incredible songs stuck in my head, The Beatles "Martha My Dear," "Flesh Failures/Let The Sunshine In" from Hair and Thriller, but after seeing those crazians dancing earlier I knew what song had to win it. But the other songs are too amazing to forget so I have a feeling they will be stuck in my head tomorrow and on Friday, respectively (I invented the game; I can cheat it)
Anyway this song and video is an artists at the very height of his power, and the very height of the game. In fact at this point HE was the game. For this video Michael, who I'm sure was already beginning to descend into his current madness, wanted John Landis to direct it, after having being impressed by his movie An American Werewolf in London. Thriller was well on its way to become the best selling album of all time, so Michael could get and do whatever he wanted. Which included co writing a 14 minute mini-movie where he got to dress as a werewolf and a zombie. And they all thought he was being creative and that it was a phase...who knew he would end up looking way creepier than any costume could hope to be. But let us, oh ye mythical reader, not focus on what he become but rather what he was when he was the shit, the Michael Jackson that Dave Chappelle still feels enough love to defend him. It is a simply a great song and an amazing video that set the standard for basically all videos to follow. (And I love Vincent Price's monologue.) You can watch the full video, along with the movie in the movie, here. But this is all you need to see, Michael Jackson's Thriller

Damn I still love that video. Try to sleep well, but remember "no mere mortal can resist the evil of the Thriller..."
[Insert diabolical laugh here]

{post#100 for the month...sweetness}

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I just spent the last ten minutes of this movie crying.
I remember freshmen year in 2003 talking to a girl down my hall and somehow the conversation turned to favorite movies ( this may have been in the first few weeks of getting to know you-ness) and she replied Spellbound. Being completely in my own world as I am sometimes, I thought she was talking about the 1945 Ingrid Bergman/Gregory Peck/ Alfred Hitchcock film ( I'm probably the only person under 30 who's mind would first go there) Anyway she was rightly confused and told me no, its a movie about the spelling bee.
And now I know why.
IFC just showed Spellbound and being as I had never seen it, it being one of those movies that I wouldn't actually remember to pick out, but if it was already on... But it is such a brilliant and emotional and suspenseful movie. The kids were all such real and normal kids and it made me remember how awkward we all were at that age and so I grew emotionally attached to them and wanted to see them do well. None of the parents were pushy or domineering and also seemed like genuinely good people and when the film actually showed the competition I was right there with them hanging on every letter and surprising myself a few times by clapping with joy when one of the kids spelled a word correctly, and being incredibly sad when they got it wrong (except for the ADD kid and the one who could be a serial killer, though I did like both contestant's parents.) And though I knew they all couldn't win it was still so sad to hear that damn bell (which tended to ring whenever I spelled a word along with them and was so confident I got it right.)
But I know the kids will all be alright, and do great things; I don't suspect that many spelling bee contestants go onto a life of crime, so that makes me happy (and I am almost certain Georgie is going to become some sort of televangelist; he already has the suit for it) [you can see what become of them at the wikipedia site, but please don't go if you haven't seen the film; its one of those movies that loses much of its power and greatness if you already know the end.] And when you see this movie (as you should) if you don't care about them all then you don't have a heart. Ah it made me so happy! The ending is so amazing...Okay I need to stop crying now...damn hormones

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Things that are too cool/trendy for me*

* but I still want.

  • For Oprah to adopt me (please; I'd make an excellent daughter.) Jesus.
  • Photosynth to be finished and released. It looks so cool and good and its one of those things I would have no idea what to do with but would still wanna mess around with.
  • After being inspired by these Filipino inmates,(couldn't they have found a better looking prison bitch? though the "Michael Jackson" sort of looks like Yao) for other prisons to engage in other video reenactments (suggestions are welcome, though these two may be able to come up with a few ideas) instead of, you know rape.
  • The above being for the sole benefit of Harriet and Josh of course. Enjoy... (::snickering::)
  • Harry Potter magic...in real life!
  • Someone to propose to me* in a much better way than any of these, and y'know, not through a video (*after meeting and falling in love, yada yada, of course)
  • A Russ Martin bobblehead. (I Love Russell Martin!!! and am apparently not the only one)
  • The Lunch Hour Boob Job. I don't wan them to big, just a full B would be enough.
  • To always be able to rate celebrity mug shots as hot or not, and to be able to give you the same joy (via Defamer)
  • I really really want a pet hippo. I'd love her forever and name her Beth Ditto (yeah that was cheap, I know). How can anyone possibly resist this?


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There's Someone Else Out There That Hates Likes Me

This is from Deadspin and it is well worth reading. It is an interview with Jeff Pearlman the author of a biography about He Who Will Not Be Named on this site (let's just say he's a former Pirate and now wears a size 12 baseball cap in orange and black.) In this interview however, Jeff shows that though he tried to be objective in his biography of The Unnatural One, he has finally and fully come around to the side of all that is good and pure. Here are some highlights.

The truth of the matter is, [Forbidden] is completely, undeniably 100 percent full of shit. He truly is. I no longer buy his love of baseball history any more than I buy the sanctity of his marriages or the purity of his blood stream...[Forbidden] cares no more about baseball history than does my goldfish. He knows what Hank Aaron went through to hit 755 home runs, and he was more than happy to cheat, load up on steroids and HGH and surpass him...
[Forbidden] has never treated people especially well, so there's very little loyalty for the man. Do you root for someone who refused to sign a ball for your kid? Who ignored you when you asked for advice? Who told you you couldn't carry his jock? I still often think of Dan Peltier, the former Giant backup who brought his young son to the team's Family Day. When [Forbidden] asked the kid to name his favorite ballplayer, he said, "My dad!" To which [Forbidden] replied, "Why? He never plays."
[Forbidden] is a cheater...Forty years from now [Forbidden] will be what he truly is--a once-in-a-lifetime talent who gave into greed and jealousy. An asterisk and a big, HGH-bloated head....
I set out to write a fair, honest, balanced biography of a misunderstood legend. I did my absolute best, and the result is a book that I'm very proud of. I've received strong reviews, in part because I didn't take sides. Now that I'm well beyond the researching and writing; now that I'm beyond the promotional, 20-second soundbite push I feel liberated to express my conclusion of the whole experience.

It is this: [Forbidden] is evil.

So true my friend, so true. And I really hope every at bat he has at Dodger Stadium that we throw at his hand. His team and fans is like the only reason I'm reluctant to move to San Francisco. And I Hate the fact he'll hold the record for even a second. Ugh

But onto a good guy (except when he's beating the Dodgers, bastard) Craig Biggio is retiring after 20 years, which is kind of sad. Not for any real reason other than the fact that he is soo close to become the All Time getting hit by pitchers. Its a record we all can be proud of and believe in. So come on pitchers, do it for the integrity of the game. Hit Biggio! He only needs 3 more...

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My Heart Is An Idiot: Chunk Three (Finally!)

Here's the third part of that meta documentary My Heart Is An Idiot, which I've been trying to keep up with and keep you posted on. The first minute or so with the pirate jokes is a little awkward and slow, which is kind of ironic since the actual documentary chunk featured is the power of editing, but you don't have to take my word for it...

At the end when he started with that last pirate joke I was going to stop the video and recommend you skip it as well, but it ends up being really sweet and endearing, just like the film-maker. Though did you see how hairy Davey is? Ew. But one of the added bonuses of following this series is that I'm exposed to poetry that I either never knew or disregarded out of hand, like the poem by Robert Frost. I mean I remember Meadow teaching A.J. about it, but those last four lines, simply brilliant.

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