But... I Don't Want To Have To Believe Jose Canseco!

Yet I'm finding it harder to dismiss him. I remember when he came out with I guess maybe his second book where he claimed that Alex Rodriguez a) tried to sleep with Jose's wife and b) was introduced to a steroids guy by Canseco and everyone laughed him off as a washed up guy looking for more and more attention.
But then Sports Illustrated breaks this this morning and it's like ugh

In 2003, when he won the American League home run title and the AL Most Valuable Player award as a shortstop for the Texas Rangers, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for two anabolic steroids, four sources have independently told Sports Illustrated.

Rodriguez's name appears on a list of 104 players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball's '03 survey testing, SI's sources say.
The list of the 104 players whose urine samples tested positive is under seal in California. However, two sources familiar with the evidence that the government has gathered in its investigation of steroid use in baseball and two other sources with knowledge of the testing results have told Sports Illustrated that Rodriguez is one of the 104 players identified as having tested positive, in his case for testosterone and an anabolic steroid known by the brand name Primobolan. All four sources spoke on the condition of anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the evidence.

Primobolan, which is also known by the chemical name methenolone, is an injected or orally administered drug that is more expensive than most steroids. (A 12-week cycle can cost $500.) It improves strength and maintains lean muscle with minimal bulk development, according to steroid experts, and has relatively few side effects.
Rodriguez finished the 2003 season by winning his third straight league home run title (with 47) and the first of his three MVP awards.

I haven't really like A-Rod since he was in Seattle and/or those times he was rumoured to be coming to the Dodgers but, and maybe this is me being naive again, or believing the media about how he's always been clean but I never thought he used steroids, or maybe I just didn't care because he was the "white hatted knight" who would take back the home run record from B*rry Bonds.

But what now? Do I know have to believe Jose? I liked it so much better when he wasn't accorded, if not respect, than at least a grudging nod for being right. But he was right about everything in "Juiced" and now this.
Were the only clean superstars of the last 15 years Ken Griffey and Manny (Griffey and Lance Armstrong are the two athletes you will never be able to convince me used steroids, even if there was a video of me personally injecting both of them)

I don't know why I care; I guess it was just a little shocking. But is it weird that whenever I think of steroids being passed around I first think "that's so gay*" but then I wonder if the dealer tells the guy, in the immortal words of "Juice" "Yo, you got the juice now" because I think that would just be awesome.

*p.s. I really like those commercials but I hate that the made the message into a rhyme- i think the rhyming kind of makes it seem less serious and grown up, at least to me it makes it seem more playful and frivolous. I mean "when you say that's so gay/ do you realize what you say?" it sounds like a nursery rhyme. But I love in this commercial how the blonde girl says "why are you saying 'that's so Emma and Julie'?" the way she says the line is so queer and campy and fabulous and makes me laugh.

Also I know we now live in a 24 hour news cycle where it's all about getting the story out first but talk about a news dump! I mean you release a story on Saturday morning! What happened to Sunday night or Monday morning so it has a full news cycle and the attention of people bored in the office.


(image from Roidreport.com and shows where to properly inject steroids into your glutes)

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A Literal LOL

This actually made me laugh out loud, something which was exceedingly difficult today and that i thought might be impossible.

Brief setup: David, son to be internet superstar, just went to the dentist to hvae a tooth pulled and hilarity ensues


Ha! I mean, poor poor kid; in 15 years he's going to have to pay for that kind of high.

PJ Harvey- When Under Ether [mp3]

P.S. I love how words uttered the influence of pain meds can sometimes seem so profound. Y'know like the last words of Dutch Schultz; they're a bizarre and thus beautiful read

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Hookers and Blow

So on Slate today they were featuring an article by everyone's favorite Elliot Spitzer with a tease something like "Obama shouldn't use the stimulus package on bridges and buildings; here's what he should use it for" (that was a paraphrase because that grammar seems atrocious; something is probably dangling)
but anyway the first thing I thought of was "He should spend it on Hookers and Blow" because really I know Elliot Spitzer smart guy, blah blah was a Wall Street Crusader (who probably shouldn't have resigned; he might have proved effective with, y'know the meltdown of free market capitalism) but what's anyone actually going to remember him for? The Emperor's Club and Ashley DuPre (is that her name? whatevs) which is probably sad for him and sad that our society is that fixated on the tawdry but it's still pretty fun. Which leads me to believe Fitzgerald was only partially right when he supposedly said "There are no second acts in American Life;" there's maybe not the second life you'd want on the same level of esteem but there is a second life of pity or scorn or ridicule.
Plus "Hookers and Blow" just say it...it can't help but make you smile.

It also reminds me of a facebook wall post convo I had with one of my uber conservative friends in the run up to the election about the only way Johnny Mac and an October Surprise could've beaten Barack(and I really hate how that whole election cycle really made me temporarily side with the conservatives- I felt dirty and ashamed)
Anyway, and this is funnier if you know that my friend is a super dedicated christian who has never cursed, smoked, drunk (drank?) or kissed a girl:

me: do the republicans and the white house actually want john mccain to win? because if so they need to hurry up with that "October Surprise", a surprise that hopefully consists of us capturing Bin Laden to discover he has Barack's cell phone # on speed dial, as well as a video of Barack and Bin Laden snorting coke while shouting "Allahu Akbar" (along with maybe a spare trillion or so dollars and a new renewable energy source.) That just might tip the scales...the CIA can do that right? for America?

him: for mccain to have a chance, it'd probably also have to include:
1) footage of the harem that osama gave to obama to bring back to the white house after the coke-scapades.
2) reports and trascripts of the secret meeting--without preconditions--where barack assembled ahmadinejad and kim jong il for a secret foreign policy summit. at the meeting, barack offered to give both leaders secret nuclear weapon technology and permanent seats on the UN security council in return for more, yep, hookers and blow.
3) it also comes to light that barry has made three more quick stops: one in china, where he announced to the chinese public that their gymnastics team was, indeed, of the proper age; one in venezuela, where he was seen pledging his unfailing loyalty to the regime of hugo chavez in exchange for more, yep, hookers and blow; and finally one in cuba, where he promised to make cuba our 51st state and fidel castro our next associate supreme court justice when JP Stevens finally snuffs it.

And who could ever forget the infamous “Better Know A District” with Robert Wexler

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Better Know a District - Florida's 19th - Robert Wexler

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Colbert Report Tickets

Paul McCartney Appearance
More Funny Videos

“If you combine the two together it’s probably more fun”

But yeah the actual article isn't nearly that fun and is really kind of boring, and disturbing (why the f*ck is everyone so pro-robot?!)

(and apparently Hookers and Blow is the name of a band and I must say that is a great great name, unless they're a bluegrass outfit, or like Il Divo, which on second thought might even make it funnier)

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Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out

'Turn on' meant go within to activate your neural and genetic equipment. Become sensitive to the many and various levels of consciousness and the specific triggers that engage them. Drugs were one way to accomplish this end. 'Tune in' meant interact harmoniously with the world around you - externalize, materialize, express your new internal perspectives. Drop out suggested an elective, selective, graceful process of detachment from involuntary or unconscious commitments. 'Drop Out' meant self-reliance, a discovery of one's singularity, a commitment to mobility, choice, and change. -Timothy Leary

(inspired by Boing Boing) :
In 1997, the BBC aired an episode of their science show Horizon about psychedelic drugs and medicine
The programme looks at the history of psychedelic drug research when it was still easily possible, focusing on Osmond and Hoffer's early work on using LSD in treating addiction and facilitating psychotherapy.

Horizon: "Psychedelic Science"




Background-
In the late 1960s, human experiments with psychedelic drugs were brought to a halt. Government reacted to the anarchy of the hippy ... all » counter-culture. The drug-crazed Charles Manson slayings came to symbolise public fear of the street use of LSD. Funding ceased, and the few researchers who battled on were ostracised. But lost in the blanket ban were remarkable research projects in the field of psychiatry that held out new hope for the treatment of schizophrenia and alcoholism. Bill Eagles' extraordinary film tells the story of a handful of dedicated scientists who have struggled to make psychedelic research respectable again. In the USA, psychiatrists Rick Strassman and Charles Grob, and neuroscientist Deborah Mash each quietly began investigations with unknown psychedelic compounds, to avoid the alarm bells of LSD. Strassman pursued the Federal Drug Administration for permission to do safety trials of DMT. Mash works on treating cocaine addicts, achieving success with Ibogaine, a psychedelic derived from a West African plant. Their success hinges on the patient having a 'peak' experience, entering the realm of the mystical or religious. The early researchers had spotted this. Now it was dramatically reinforced by unique new evidence from Brazil. Unable to work in the USA, Grob visited Brazil to track down the ritual use of Ayahuasca, a leaf rich in the powerful DMT. For centuries it has been used amongst the shamans of the Amazon. But today, in urban Brazil, tens of thousands of men, women and children are taking the drug as part of an ecstatic Christian cult experience. The Brazilian Government asked Grob to look at long-term damaging effects of the drug. Instead, he found no evidence of toxicity or brain damage, and also that long-term users functioned better in their community. In 1992 Brazil legalised ritual use of Ayahuasca. The FDA took careful note. Then in the early 1990s, leading lights of the US computer industry began admitting that many breakthroughs in Silicon Valley in the 70s and 80s had been inspired by regular psychedelic drug use. Nobel Prize winner Kary Mullis, and founding father of Microsoft, Bob Wallace, reveal on camera the psychedelic influence on their creativity. This anecdotal evidence raised support for the psychedelic researchers. Now Strassman has received approval from the FDA for research into LSD itself.

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Give Peace A Chance…Just Not Alcatraz

I really wish I had registered to vote in San Francisco Or at least I wish I read The Chronicle Or watched local news (and I wonder why I'm always so out of the local loop) because then I would’ve known about this, about Proposition C before

If San Francisco voters approve a Feb. 5 ballot initiative that would restore operating power of Alcatraz back to the city and county of San Francisco, it could possibly open the doors for a “Global Peace Center,” the final iteration of Mill Valley resident and Light Party founder Da Vid’s ambitious renovation plan for the island tourist attraction.

“I think people are sick of seeing the negative connotation of a prison on Alcatraz,” said Vid, who helped spearhead a campaign that garnered 20,000 signatures for the initiative, allowing it to appear on the February ballot. “This is just the beginning. We have people who think when this project is finished it will be the eighth world wonder.”

Alcatraz is currently administered by the National Park Service under the jurisdiction of the Department of the Interior. If voters approve the initiative, Vid said, the next step would be to work with city officials to identify funding sources for the island complex. Vid said proposed plans for the island include a statue of St. Francis, a multimedia entertainment center and a world cultures conference room.

Vid said he is working close with Native Americans — who hold Alcatraz in a sacred context — on developing the project.

Marshall Jack, a member of the Paiute and Washoe tribes, said the Global Peace Center would be a “win-win situation.”

“It is an opportunity for Native Americans to give back to the world,” said Jack, also known as Golden Eagle. “This project is a step in the right direction, to show that people of different backgrounds can work together to make something beautiful.”

The path to the Global Peace Center has plenty of barriers. Any motion to remove property from the National Park Service would have to get approval from Congress, and proposed alterations to the Alcatraz prison complex, which is a National Historic Landmark, would have to get approval from California’s Office of Historic Preservation.

The overhaul could also alarm environmentalists concerned about damage to the numerous bird habitats on the island, said National Parks Service spokesperson Rich Weideman. Weideman also said that recent work done to restore Alcatraz’s historic gardens would be derailed by the change.
Fisherman’s Wharf merchants, who base much of their marketing around Alcatraz merchandise, would not be pleased with the change, said Fisherman Wharf Community Benefits District spokeswoman Karen Bell.

-LA Examiner





The idea is the brainstorm of the Light Party's founder, Da Vid

(Oh, so that’s the Light and Freedom Party that’s always on the ballot. Good to know)



From the website:

Alcatraz, a former Federal penitentiary and a sacred site for First Nation people, is currently administered by the Department of the Interior. Through a political process, be it an initiative, an act of Congress or direct purchase of the island, we have the means and opportunity to transform Alcatraz Island into a Global Peace Center.

The choice is simple, do we really want an old and decaying prison to continue to be a prominent landmark for the San Francisco Bay Area, or do we want to take this opportunity to create a New Alcatraz, one which will mark a new emerging paradigm committed to progressive, enlightened values ?!

San Francisco, the "Geneva of the West" and a major center for the rapidly emerging Pacific Rim community of nations, is ideally suited for this majestic and noble project. From the signing of The United Nations Charter to the present day peace movement, San Francisco, the City of St. Francis, has a storied history as a progressive center for spiritual enlightenment, environmental awareness, and an engaged socially conscience populace and business community.

The Alcatraz Conversion Project involves removing the main prison block and in its place, we envision constructing an International Conference Center For Non-Violent Conflict Resolution, along with the Harmonium, an aesthetically beautiful multi-faceted geodesic dome. The Harmonium will employ advanced three dimensional holographic sound technologies and other special effect technologies which will which will promote and elicit a deep meditative, transpersonal and transcendental experience! An Ascension Experience!! In addition, we envision a dramatic Statue of St. Francis, welcoming all to the San Francisco Bay Area plus an Alcatraz Museum which will archive the long and short term history of THE ROCK.

The Global Peace Center, based on the geometry of the Hexagram, will be magnificently landscaped, and redesigned with graceful curves by removing its jagged cliffs. A permanent MEDICINE WHEEL and a LABYRINTH will be constructed, thus providing sacred sanctuary and ceremonial spaces. The island will be an international showcase for sustainable energy technologies, ie: solar, wind and ocean thermal generated energy systems.

We believe The Alcatraz Conversion Project will activate the creative spiritual and business intelligence of the Bay Area and beyond, and serve as a powerful, catalytic statement that will "Inspire, Delight, Heal and Enlighten". Through this process we will re-consecrate Alcatraz Island as a sacred site, and thus acknowledge the Native American people, while simultaneously giving birth to a new and peaceful paradigm for all humanity.

IN SUMMARY: The Alcatraz Conversion Project is both a challenge and a golden opportunity to initiate a tremendous community project, one which has the potential to positively transform the energy of the entire Bay Area and the world and thus catalyze a Global Renaissance.

The Opportunity Is Here..The Choice Is Ours To Make...

"Where There Is Vision , We, The People Prosper

Yup. Seems about right. I can see it now, instead of people calling it The Rock we'll soon have The Crock (there was no way I could pass up something like that)

In case you’re interested in or have the belief that

"Majestic in its Simplicity, Revolutionary as a Political Metaphor, The Global Peace Center Proclaims Global Renaissance!
A New Epoch! A Time of Enduring Peace for All Humanity...
By Converting Alcatraz Island, a place of pain and suffering,
Into a "JEWEL OF LIGHT". We will activate Powerful Forces for Cooperation, Reconciliation & Healing

You can visit the Global Peace Foundation website here
(and if you’re really, really really into it you can watch an 81 minute Alcatraz Conversion Interview here. Have fun)
Oh Goddess, I really do love this city sometimes.

[found on Wonkette ]

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Dana & Hugo Would Throw One Helluva Party

I’ve always enjoyed Dana Jacobson of ESPN, she seemed knowledgeable but didn’t take it too seriously and wasn’t obsessed with coming up with no sensical catch phrases (plus I hold all the women at ESPN in a special esteem) and so when I heard that she got a wee bit drunk at some roast I was bemused. When I heard she told off Notre Dame I was intrigued and so I eagerly waited for footage. Well, some pictures have finally been released and I must say “thatta girl”

Jacobson reportedly said "F*** Notre Dame," "F*** Touchdown Jesus," and "F*** Jesus" in an attempt to talk trash to Mike and Mike co-host Mike Golic, a former Notre Dame football player

Who doesn’t chug a bottle of vodka and then start blaspheming? Is that all?
I mean I say that stuff all the time, drunk or sober. I fucking hate Notre Dame. (And I think she’s a Michigan alum, so of course she hates Notre Dame as well. I see no problem. Seriously, fuck Notre Dame.
But finally seeing the photos I found yet another reason why I think she would be so so cool to hang out with; girl can throw down.

Speaking of people who’d be cool to hang out with

“Venezuela's controversial President Hugo Chávez has revealed that he regularly consumes coca -- the source of cocaine”
''I chew coca every day in the morning . . . and look how I am,'' he is seen saying on a video of the speech, as he shows his biceps to the audience
Chávez, who does not drink alcohol, added that just as Fidel Castro ''sends me Coppelia ice cream and a lot of other things that regularly reach me from Havana,'' Bolivian President Evo Morales ``sends me coca paste . . . I recommend it to you.''

It was not clear what Chávez meant. Indigenous Bolivians and Peruvians can legally chew coca leaves as a mild stimulant and to kill hunger. But coca paste is a semi-refined product -- between leaves and cocaine -- considered highly addictive and often smoked as basuco or pitillo

Although coca leaves have nutritional and medical characteristics, ''the principal component is an alkaloid, cocaine,'' that can be ''harmful'' if it's made part of a daily diet, Nancy Siles, a biochemist with the Bolivian College of Biochemistry and Pharmacy, wrote in a a recent report

.

Pssh, whatever. You gotta care diem that shit, you only live once…unless you’re a Hindu of course

Thank you that's all, goodnight (someone escort me off stage before I make a bigger spectacle of myself)

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The Last Words of Dutch Schultz

A few nights ago when I couldn’t really sleep I somehow got started on a Wikipedia bender where I think I somehow traced the history of organized crime and the Mafia in America and Sicily (note: Salvatore "Totò" Riina= incredibly scary; never cross him) but during my binge I came upon again the article about the actual Last Words of Dutch Schultz which some people say “is everything from the ravings of someone on the brink of death to poetry to secrets of the mob world.”

And so because I found a transcript and want to clean off my desktop here they are:

(another quick note about Dutch Schultz -his death scene was pretty good theatre. My favorite part? “According to legend, Schultz who was shot while urinating did not want to be found dead on the floor of a men's room. He therefore picked up his hat, staggered back to his seat in the backroom, sat down, and slumped over the table. Schultz called for someone to get an ambulance; Bernard "Lulu" Rosencrantz , whose body had been ripped open from two shotgun blasts and five bullets, dutifully pulled himself to his feet, and rather than go immediately to the phone booth near the bar, he demanded that the bartender — who had hid behind the register the entire duration of the shootout — change his quarter for five nickels; Rosenkrantz didn't want the phone company getting twenty more cents than they were owed.
The police gave Schultz brandy to try and dull his pain and attempted to interrogate him while waiting for the second ambulance; when it arrived, Schultz gave the paramedics $700 in cash to ensure that they gave him the best possible treatment.
At the hospital, Landau and Rosencrantz waited for surgery and refused to say anything to the police until Schultz arrived and gave them permission; even then, they provided the cops only minimal information. When the police queried Rosenkrantz, he continued to refuse to answer any of their questions, and repeatedly demanded an ice cream soda [Abe] Landau, who nearly died at the scene reportedly used his last bit of strength to give the police a fake name and address- Gotta love the mob code- before he expired of blood loss eight hours after the shooting. Meanwhile, Rosencrantz was taken into surgery; the doctors, incredulous that Rosencrantz was still alive, were unsure of how to treat him. He survived for 29 hours after the shooting before succumbing to his injuries.)

Statements made by Arthur (Dutch Schultz) Flegenheimer were taken down by a Newark police stenographer, F. J. Lang. The notes covered a period from about 4 o'clock Thursday afternoon until Schultz died. During that period he was delirious most of the time, but lucid at intervals. Schultz at this time was irrational, suffering with a fever of 106 degrees and a bullet in his stomach. Sergeant Luke Conlon and other detectives from Newark police headquarters were at his bedside. One of the officers had a newspaper.
A transcript of all he said follows:

(Schultz noticed newspaper and spoke) - Has it been in any other papers? George, don't make no full moves. What have you done with him? Oh, mama, mama, mama. Oh stop it, stop it; eh, oh, oh. Sure, sure, mama.
Now listen, Phil, fun is fun. Ah please, papa. What happened to the sixteen? Oh, oh, he done it, please. John, please, oh, did you buy the hotel? You promised a million sure. Get out. I wished I knew.
Please make it quick, fast and furious. Please. Fast and furious. Please help me get out; I am getting my wind back, thank God. Please, please, oh please. You will have to please tell him, you got no case.
You get ahead with the dot dash system didn't I speak that time last night. Whose number is that in your pocket book, Phi1 13780. Who was it? Oh- please, please. Reserve decision. Police, police, Henry and Frankie. Oh, oh, dog biscuits and when he is happy he doesn't get happy please, please to do this. Then Henry, Henry, Frankie you didn't even meet me. The glove will fit what I say oh, Kayiyi, oh Kayiyi. Sure who cares when you are through? How do you know this? How do you know this? Well, then oh, Cocoa know thinks he is a grandpa again. He is jumping around. No Hobo and Poboe I think he means the same thing.

Q. (from Sergeant Conlon) - Who shot you?

A.- The boss himself.

Q.- He did?

A.- Yes, I don't know.

Q.- What did he shoot you for?

A.- I showed him boss; did you hear him meet me? An appointment. Appeal stuck. All right, mother.

Q.- Was it the boss shot you?

A.- Who shot me? No one.

Q.- We will help you.

A.- Will you help me up? O.K. I won't be such a big creep. Oh, mama. I can't go through with it, please. Oh, and then he clips me; come on. Cut that out, we don't owe a nickel; hold it; instead, hold it against him; I am a pretty good pretzler -Winifred- Department of Justice. I even got it from the department. Sir, please stop it. Say listen the last night!

(Statement by Sergeant Conlon) - Don't holler.

A.- I don't want to holler.

Q.- What did they shoot you for?

A.- I don't know, sir. Honestly I don't. I don't even know who was with me, honestly. I was in the toilet and when I reached the -the boy came at me.

Q.- The big fellow gave it to you?

A.- Yes, he gave it to me.

Q.- Do you know who this big fellow was?

A.- No. If he wanted to break the ring no, please I get a month. They did it. Come on. (A name, not clear) cut me off and says you are not to be the beneficiary of this will. Is that right? I will be checked and double-checked and please pull for me. Will you pull? How many good ones and how many bad ones? Please I had nothing with him he was a cowboy in one of the seven days a week fight. No business; no hangout; no friends; nothing; just what you pick up and what you need. I don't know who shot me. Don't put anyone near this check~ you might have -please do it for me. Let me get up. heh? In the olden days they waited and they waited. Please give me a shot. It is from the factory. Sure, that is a bad. Well, oh good ahead that happens for trying. I don't want harmony. I want harmony. Oh, mamma, mamma! Who give it to him? Who give it to him? Let me in the district -fire-factory that he was nowhere near. It smoldered No, no. There are only ten of us and there ten million fighting somewhere of you, so get your onions up and we will throw up the truce flag. Oh, please let me up. Please shift me. Police are here. Communistic...strike...baloney...honestly this is a habit I get; sometimes I give it and sometimes I don't. Oh, I am all in. That settles it. Are you sure? Please let me get in and eat. Let him harass himself to you and then bother you. Please don't ask me to go there. I don't want to. I still don't want him in the path. It is no use to stage a riot. The sidewalk was in trouble and the bears were in trouble and I broke it up. Please put me in that room. Please keep him in control. My gilt edged stuff and those dirty rats have tuned in. Please mother, don't tear, don't rip; that is something that shouldn't be spoken about. Please get me up, my friends. Please, look out. The shooting is a bit wild, and that kind of shooting saved a man's life. No payrolls. No wells. No coupons. That would be entirely out. Pardon me, I forgot I am plaintiff and not defendant. Look out. Look out for him. Please. He owed me money; he owes everyone money. Why can't he just pullout and give me control? Please, mother, you pick me up now. Please, you know me. No. Don't you scare me. My friends and I think I do a better job. Police are looking for you allover. Be instrumental in letting us know. They are English-men and they are a type I don't know who is best, they or us. Oh, sir, get the doll a roofing. You can play jacks and girls do that with a soft ball and do tricks with it. I take all events into consideration. No. No. And it is no. It is confused and its says no. A boy has never wept nor dashed a thousand kim. Did you hear me?

Q. (By Detective) - Who shot you?

A.- I don't know.

Q.- How many shots were fired?

A.- I don't know.

Q.- How many?

A.- Two thousand. Come one, get some money in that treasury. We need it. Come on, please get it. I can't tell you to. That is not what you have in the book. Oh, please warden. What am I going to do for money? Please put me up on my feet at once. You are a hard boiled man. Did you hear me? I would hear it, the Circuit Court would hear it, and the Supreme Court might hear it. If that ain't the pay-off. Please crack down on the Chinaman's friends and Hitler's commander. I am sore and I am going up and I am going to give you honey if I can. Mother is the best bet and don't let Satan draw you too fast.

Q. (By Detective) - What did the big fellow shoot you for?

A.- Him? John? Over a million, five million dollars.

Q.- You want to get well, don't you?

A.- Yes.

Q.- Then lie quiet.

A.- Yes, I will lie quiet.

Q.- John shot and we will take care of John.

A.- That is what caused the trouble. Look out. Please let me up. If you do this, you can go on and jump right here in the lake. I know who they are. They are French people. All right. Look out, look out. Oh, my memory is gone. A work relief police. Who gets it? I don't know and I don't want to know, but look out. It can be traced. He changed for the worse. Please look out; my fortunes have changed and come back and went back since that. It was desperate. I am wobbly. You ain't got nothing on him but you got it on his helper.

Q. (By detective ) - Control yourself.

A.- But I am dying.

(Statemnt by detective) - No, you are not.

A.- Come on, mama. All right, dear, you have to get it.

At this point, Schultz's wife, Frances, was brought to his bedside. She spoke.

(Statement by Mrs. Schultz) - This is Frances.

Schultz began to talk again, saying:

Then pull me out. I am half crazy. They won't let me get up. They dyed my shoes. Open those shoes. Give me something. I am so sick. Give me some water, the only thing that I want. Open this up and break it so I can touch you. Danny, please get me in the car.

At this point Mrs. Schultz left the room.

(Sergeant Conlon questioned Schultz again) - Who shot you?

A.- I don't know. I didn't even get a look. I don't know who can have done it. Anybody. Kindly take my shoes off. (He was told that they were off.) No. There is a handcuff on them. The Baron says these things. I know what I am doing here with my collection of papers. It isn't worth a nickel to two guys like you or me but to a collector it is worth a fortune. It is priceless. I am going to turn it over to... Turn you back to me, please Henry. I am so sick now. The police are getting many complaints. Look out. I want that G-note. Look out for Jimmy Valentine for he is an old pal of mine. Come on, come on, Jim. Ok, ok, I am all through. Can't do another thing. Look out mamma, look out for her. You can't beat him. Police, mamma, Helen, mother, please take me out. I will settle the indictment. Come on, open the soap duckets. The chimney sweeps. Talk to the sword. Shut up, you got a big mouth! Please help me up, Henry. Max, come over here. French-Canadian bean soup. I want to pay. Let them leave me alone.

Schultz sank into unconsciousness then. It was 6:40 P.M. He died less than two hours later, without saying anything else..

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Careful With That Axe, Eugene

Down, down. Down, down. The star is screaming.
Beneath the lies. Lie, lie.
Careful, careful, careful with that axe, Eugene.
The stars are screaming loud.

KQED San Francisco, 29th April 1970. From the Show "An hour with Pink Floyd"


Pink Floyd- Careful With That Axe, Eugene [download] buy it on iTunes


"Come in Number 51, Your Time Is Up"

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The Mitchell Report: A Quick Look

(my mom's maiden name is Mitchell-I wonder if George Mitchell's ancestors owned mine-bastard)

So I wanted to check out quickly some of the Mitchell Report and to see which team was the dirtiest and all and so I searched the pdf and this is how many times each team is mentioned in the report, as divided by Divisions

NL East
Mets-64 times
Marlins-30
Nationals/Expos 4+12= 16
Phillies-14
Braves-13

NL Central
Cardinals-20
Reds-17
Astros-15
Cubs-13
Pirates-13
Brewers-9

(and the only ones that matter to me:
Giants-55
Dodgers-54
The Giants are such dirty cheaters, it’s disgusting)
Diamondbacks-31
Padres-23
Rockies-20

AL East
Yankees-89
Red Sox-37
Orioles-32
Blue Jays-17
Devil Rays-4

AL Central
Indians-26
Royals-15
Tigers-10
Twins-9
White Sox-6

AL West
Oakland-37
Rangers-29
Angels 24
Mariners-15

And then I guess for closure or understanding about what happened I wanted to see what the report said exactly was the Dodger's role in this whole mess and it was a little shocking.
So more for me I guess here are all the mentions of the Dodgers (there may be multiple mentions in the same paragraph and you can see how much Paul LoDuca fucked the Dodgers, though Todd Hundley who I always hated was the deepest root (bastard)

1. Page SR-4: I have never met or talked with Jeff Kent of the Los Angeles Dodgers, but he appears to have understood this when he said in September, as reported in several newspapers: “Major League Baseball is trying to investigate the past so they can fix the future.”
2. Footnote 103 page 32: Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Steve Howe received the same suspension. Howe was a repeat offender who failed two separate drug tests for cocaine during the 1983 season which were administered by the Dodgers under the club’s agreement with Howe following his treatment for cocaine abuse in a rehabilitation program.
3. Page 35: Two clubs, the Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Francisco Giants, attempted to require drug testing as a term of new player contracts
4. Page 52: The physicians meeting that Manfred described was held in Milwaukee, and was attended by, among others, Dr. William Bryan of the Houston Astros, Dr. John Cantwell of the Atlanta Braves, Dr. John E. Conway of the Texas Rangers, and Dr. Michael Mellman of the Los Angeles Dodgers. The meeting was convened by the Commissioner in anticipation of the coming negotiations with the Players Association about a drug program and also to discuss implementation of the minor league drug testing program that year.
5. Page 131: Estalella’s apparent use of performance enhancing substances was noticed by club officials. After the 2003 season, the Los Angeles Dodgers considered signing Estalella as a free agent. During a three-day meeting of Dodgers officials in late October 2003, assessments were made of many players, including the possible use of steroids by some players. Ellen Harrigan, an administrator in the Dodgers’ scouting department, kept detailed notes of the discussion. Among the comments she recorded was an observation by one of the participants that Estalella was a “poster boy for the chemicals.
6. Footnote 344 page 131: Transcript of Dodgers Baseball Operations Department Meetings, dated Oct. 21-24, 2003, at 51. Several Dodgers officials participated in the meetings, including special scouting advisor Gib Bodet, senior advisor John Boles, general manager Dan Evans, team physician Frank Jobe, athletic trainer Stan Johnston, manager Jim Tracy, advance scout Mark Weidemaier, senior scouting advisor Don Welke, and director of amateur scouting Logan White.
7. Page 163: Todd Hundley played as a catcher with three teams in Major League Baseball from 1990 until 2003 (the New York Mets, Los Angeles Dodgers, and Chicago Cubs). He was with the Mets from 1990 to 1998. He played in All-Star games in 1996 and 1997.Chris Donnels played with Hundley in 2000 when they were both with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Donnels admitted to my investigative staff that Radomski supplied him with performance enhancing substances. Donnels recalled having extensive discussions with Hundley about his performance enhancing substance use and about Radomski while they were teammates. Hundley’s name, with two addresses and three telephone numbers, is listed in the address book seized by federal agents from Radomski’s residence.
   
8. Page 182: F.P. Santangelo played several positions over short stints with four teams in Major League Baseball between 1995 and 2001, the Montreal Expos, San Francisco Giants, Los Angeles Dodgers, and Oakland Athletics. He is now a radio broadcaster.Radomski believed that Santangelo was referred to him by David Segui when both played for the Expos between 1995 and 1997. (sweet-I remember him playing for us and I’m glad he was still clean at the time)
9. Page 190: Chris Donnels played parts of eight seasons as an infielder with five teams in Major League Baseball between 1991 and 2002, the New York Mets, Houston Astros, Boston Red Sox, Los Angeles Dodgers, and Arizona Diamondbacks. Radomski met Donnels while they were both with the Mets in 1991 and 1992.Radomski sold both human growth hormone and steroids to Donnels from 2000 to 2004.
10. Page 192: Donnels played in Japan for four years and then signed with the Dodgers organization in 2000 after reconstructive shoulder surgery. He considered “taking something to speed up his recovery,” and he recalled hearing “talk about HGH” during this time. Donnels began researching human growth hormone on his own. He knew that human growth hormone was illegal, but he was also aware that Major League Baseball did not test for it. While on a rehabilitation assignment with the Dodgers’ class AAA affiliate in Albuquerque, he talked to strength and conditioning coach Todd Seyler about human growth hormone, and they both conducted research on the internet. Seyler said that Donnels admitted using human growth hormone and seemed very knowledgeable about steroids. One month into the 2001 season, Donnels hurt his back. He had 10 to 15 cortisone injections, and a Dodgers physician eventually told him he could not receive any more injections. Donnels called Radomski, who he had not spoken with since 1992. Donnels does not remember who referred him to Radomski, but he recalls having discussions with Todd Hundley about performance enhancing substances and Radomski. After some discussions, Radomski sold Donnels testosterone, Dianabol, Deca-Durabolin, human growth hormone, Vicodin, and amphetamines. Donnels said that the steroids and human growth hormone “sat around for awhile before [he] used them.
11. Page 193: Donnels said that he told Dodgers athletic trainer Matt Wilson that he was considering using performance enhancing substances. Wilson told him to “look it up on the computer” and said “I don’t need to hear anything about it.”405After starting his cycle of steroids and human growth hormone in 2001, Donnels was assigned to the Dodgers’ class AAA affiliate in Las Vegas for rehabilitation. While there, he was tested under the minor league testing program (which began in 2001). Donnels expected to test positive but never heard anything about the results of his test. He speculated that he may have been wrongly tested under the minor league program because he was on the Dodgers’ 40man major league roster at the time. Donnels felt that he “dodged a bullet,” and the incident “scared him straight.”
12. Page 194: Todd Williams has played as a pitcher with five teams in Major League Baseball since 1995, the Los Angeles Dodgers, Cincinnati Reds, Seattle Mariners, New York Yankees, and Baltimore Orioles, among many assignments in the minor leagues
13. Page 194: Phil Hiatt played several positions in minor league baseball for fourteen seasons, in Japan for one season and for parts of four seasons (1993, 1995, 1996, and 2001) played with the Kansas City Royals, Detroit Tigers, and Los Angeles Dodgers in Major League Baseball. Radomski first spoke to Hiatt while he was with the Dodgers in 2001. Over the span of several seasons, Radomski sold Hiatt both human growth hormone and Deca-Durabolin. According to Radomski, he sold these performance enhancing substances to Hiatt on two or three occasions. For the first sale, Radomski sent a package addressed to Hiatt at the Dodgers clubhouse. On another occasion, he recalled sending a package to Hiatt at a Florida address. Radomski believed that he sent a third package to Hiatt when he was playing in the minor leagues (Hiatt played in the minors during the 2002-2004 seasons). He believed Hiatt paid by money order
14. Page 208: Paul Lo Duca is a catcher who has played with three teams in Major League Baseball since 1998, the Los Angeles Dodgers (7 seasons), Florida Marlins (2 seasons), and New York Mets (2 seasons). He has appeared in four All-Star games. Todd Hundley referred Lo Duca to Radomski when Lo Duca played for the Dodgers. Radomski estimated that he engaged in six or more transactions with Lo Duca. In some transactions, Radomski sent the performance enhancing substances by overnight mail to Lo Duca’s home or to the Dodgers clubhouse and Lo Duca sent Radomski a check a week or so later.According to the notes of an internal discussion among Los Angeles Dodgers officials in October 2003 that were referred to above, it was reportedly said of Lo Duca during the meetings: "Steroids aren’t being used anymore on him. Big part of this. Might have some value to trade . . . Florida might have interest. . . . Got off the steroids . . . Took away a lot of hard line drives. . . . Can get comparable value back would consider trading. . . . If you do trade him, will get back on the stuff and try to show you he can have a good year. That’s his makeup. Comes to play. Last year of contract, playing for 05".On June 26, 2004, Lo Duca wrote a check to Radomski for $3,200. On July 30, 2004, the Dodgers traded Lo Duca, Guillermo Mota, and Juan Encarnacion to the Marlins. On August 7, 2004, Lo Duca issued another check to Radomski for $3,200. In January 2005, Lo Duca signed a three-year contract with the Marlins. The handwritten note shown below on Dodger Stadium stationary from Lo Duca to Radomski was seized from Radomski’s house during a search by federal agents. Radomski said that this note was included with a check Lo Duca sent Radomski as payment for human growth hormone (you broke my heart Paulie, you broke my heart)
    
15. Page 211: Adam Riggs played several positions in portions of four seasons with three teams in Major League Baseball between 1997 and 2004, the Los Angeles Dodgers, San Diego Padres, and Anaheim Angels. He also played in the minor leagues for eleven seasons. Since 2004, he has played professional baseball in Japan.According to Radomski, Lo Duca referred Riggs to him. Radomski subsequently engaged in six to ten transactions with Riggs from 2003 to 2005. Radomski never met Riggs in person
16. page 214: Kevin Brown (not only did he cost us 105 million and suck but he was usuing steroids.) pitched for six teams in Major League Baseball between 1986 and 2005, the Texas Rangers (8 seasons), Baltimore Orioles (1 season), Florida Marlins (2 seasons), San Diego Padres (1 season), Los Angeles Dodgers (5 seasons), and New York Yankees. Radomski said that Paul Lo Duca referred Brown to him in 2000 or 2001 when Brown and Lo Duca were teammates with the Dodgers. Brown called Radomski and they spoke about human growth hormone for one or two hours. Radomski said that Brown was “very knowledgeable” about human growth hormone. Brown was placed on the disabled list in June 2001 with a neck injury and in July 2001 with an elbow injury. After Brown got hurt, he called Radomski again and asked for human growth hormone.
17. Page 215: Radomski said that he sent human growth hormone to Brown by overnight mail and called Brown several times to make sure he had received it. Brown finally returned Radomski’s call and confirmed he had received it. Soon thereafter, Radomski returned home one day to find an express delivery package from Brown on his doorstep, wet from the rain. When he opened it, he found that it contained $8,000 in cash. Radomski called Brown and told him not to check the signature waiver box on the overnight delivery package when he was sending cash, because the envelope was left on Radomski’s doorstep for several hours and could have been taken. According to Radomski, over the next two or three years he sold performance enhancing substances to Brown five or six times. Radomski recalled that Brown usually purchased multiple kits of human growth hormone. Brown sent cash, sometimes as much as $10,000, to Radomski by overnight mail, and he used his agent’s business address as the return address. At one point, Brown asked Radomski for Deca-Durabolin to help with an ailing elbow, and Radomski sold it to him. (In 2002, Brown was placed on the disabled list with an elbow injury.)
18. Page 216:In the notes of the October 2003 meetings among Dodgers officials, it was reportedly said of Brown: Kevin Brown – getting to the age of nagging injuries . . . Question what kind of medication he takes . . . Effectiveness goes down covering 1st base or running bases. Common in soccer players and are more susceptible if you take meds to increase your muscles – doesn’t increase the attachments.Is he open to adjusting how he takes care of himself? He knows he now needs to do stuff before coming to spring training to be ready. Steroids speculated by GM.422Less than two months later, the Dodgers traded Brown to the Yankees.423In order to provide Brown with information about these allegations and to give him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me; he declined. Eric Gagné Eric Gagné is a relief pitcher who began his career in Major League Baseball with the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1999 and played with the Dodgers through 2006. In 2007, he played for the Texas Rangers and the Boston Red Sox, and in December he signed with the Milwaukee Brewers. In 2002 and 2003, Gagné was the Los Angeles Dodgers Player of the Year. In 2003, he saved 55 games and won the Cy Young Award and the National League Rolaids Relief Pitcher of the Year. In 2004, he saved 45 games and again won the National League Rolaids Relief Pitcher of the Year. He has played in three All-Star games. Paul Lo Duca and Gagné were teammates with the Dodgers from 1999 to 2004. Although he is not sure when, Radomski recalled that Lo Duca called Radomski and told Radomski that Gagné was with him and wanted to buy human growth hormone. Gagné then came onto the phone and asked Radomski a question about how to get air out of a syringe. This is the only time Radomski spoke to Gagné. Radomski said that Lo Duca thereafter placed orders on Gagné’s behalf. Radomski said that he mailed two shipments to Gagné, each consisting of two kits of human growth hormone. One was sent to Gagné’s home in Florida; the other was sent to Dodger Stadium. Federal agents seized from Radomski’s home a copy of an Express Mail receipt showing a shipment to “Dodger Stadium, c/o Eric Gagne – L.A. Dodgers Home Club, 1000 Elysian Park Ave., Los Angeles, California 90012” dated August 9, 2004. A copy of this receipt is included in the Appendix and is shown below. Radomski said that this was for one of the shipments of human growth hormone to Gagné. (fuck.)
    
19. Page 219: In a November 1, 2006 email to a Red Sox scout, general manager Theo Epstein asked, “Have you done any digging on Gagne? I know the Dodgers think he was a steroid guy. Maybe so. What do you hear on his medical?” 425
20. Page 221: Matt Herges is a pitcher who has played for seven teams in Major League Baseball since 1999, the Los Angeles Dodgers, Montreal Expos, San Francisco Giants, San Diego Padres, Arizona Diamondbacks, Florida Marlins, and Colorado Rockies. Herges was a teammate of catcher Paul Lo Duca with the Dodgers from 1999 to 2001. According to Radomski, Herges called Radomski and said that Lo Duca had given him Radomski’s telephone number. Radomski said that he made two or three sales of human growth hormone to Herges. His first contact with Herges might have been as early as 2004 and his last sale to him was in late 2005, not long before federal agents executed the search warrant on Radomski’s residence
21. Page 227: Jeff Williams is a pitcher who played portions of four major league seasons with the Los Angeles Dodgers, from 1999 to 2002. After leaving the Dodgers, Williams went to Japan to continue his playing career
22. Page 230: From 1999 to 2000, Todd Seyler served as a minor league strength and conditioning coach for the Albuquerque Dukes, which was then the class AAA affiliate of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Around May 1999, Seyler began talking with five of the Dukes players about using performance enhancing substances. The players were Matt Herges, Paul Lo Duca, Jeff Williams, Mike Judd, and Ricky Stone. As already discussed, according to Kirk Radomski, Herges, Lo Duca, and Williams later purchased performance enhancing substances from him. Seyler said that all five players expected to be called up to the Dodgers later in the season, and they all wanted to be in “peak physical condition” when that happened. 430Seyler gave Herges a “few hundred dollars” in cash to purchase steroids for him. Seyler understood that the other players were giving Herges money too and that either Herges or Lo Duca would buy steroids for the group from a source in Florida. Seyler did not tell anyone in Dodgers management that he or any of these players were purchasing steroids.Before a game in mid-July 1999, Seyler and the players met to inject themselves with the steroids. Seyler and Stone lived in the same apartment complex, and Judd, Herges, Lo Duca, and Williams met them at Stone’s apartment with the steroids that had been received from Florida. Seyler recalls Herges as the player who carried the box of steroids into the apartment.
23. Page 231: Seyler never observed these players use steroids after the first occasion, but he spoke with them frequently about the subject until all but one of the players were promoted to the Dodgers later during the 1999 season. Based on his conversations with them, Seyler believed that all of the players continued to use steroids while training and that they completed their six-week cycles. They had conversations about steroids at the ballpark, in the clubhouse, during practices, and before and after games. Seyler said that the discussions were “as casual as a conversation about going to the movies.
24. Page 248: In the meetings in October 2003 among Los Angeles Dodgers officials, it was reportedly said that “Gibbons is a guy would have interest in but juice involved there.”
25. Footnote 490 page 252: Holmes played for eight teams in Major League Baseball between 1990 and 2003: the Los Angeles Dodgers; Milwaukee Brewers; Colorado Rockies; New York Yankees; Arizona Diamondbacks; St. Louis Cardinals; Baltimore Orioles; and Atlanta Braves.
26. Page 255: Valdez played for seven teams in Major League Baseball between 1994 and 2005, the Los Angeles Dodgers, Chicago Cubs, Anaheim Angels, Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres, and Florida Marlins. According to the article, on September 7, 2002, while he was playing with the Mariners, Valdez “used a credit to card to buy nearly $2,500 worth of human growth hormone,”

So Paul Lo Duca was a bigger drug dealer than Frank Black. Awesome. He was really my favorite player when he was on the Dodgers and I remember being quite quite upset when he got traded. I’m glad of course that “steroids left the Dodgers when he did” and we’ve been clean and sterling since then. And that also at least half of the players associated with the Dodgers in this report I'd never heard of and were probably just in the minors.

At least we're still cleaner than the Giants.

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"News" From the Other Shore

I really love Helen Mirren even more now after this story of her acid trip taken "during a stroll in the countryside with a group of bohemian friends she stayed with in an "artist's haven" in Stratford-upon-Avon." That's how I want to live! And she still looks so amazing , well maybe not when she's tripping the fuck out






Sweetie, Chanelle or whoever, I don't know who you are are why you're being photographed but... you're trying too hard






















trying way too hard






















didn't your mummy ever teach you to be yourself?

Ah I just thought that was a "primitive" tribal belief that photos steal souls


but I understand now and it make sense why you've been slowly getting more gaunt and sunken and looking more and more like you've been making out with Dementors, Kiera

Damn You Eastman! ::shakes fist in mock rage::

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Where Have You Gone, Marion Barry

I just wanted to post these quotes from a Facebook group that I decided to leave ( I really needed to prune- I was in almost a hundred) but the quotes are too amazing and I never wanted to forget them and I'm sure you'll enjoy them as well.

"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"Bitch set me up." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?" -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?" -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? WOULD IT!?!" -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

"I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

From the group "Marion Barry is the Shit" and just remember this man was re-elected after getting caught on tape trying to buy crack- God Bless America. Seriously.


(and no i don't really care if a lot of those quotes were made up- i enjoy my delusions)

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Your Stuck in my Head Song of the Day

This has been in my bookmarks for a bit now, but once again it is well worth sharing. The Norwegian Princess Märtha Louise is opening an alternative therapy center and is claiming to teach how to talks to angels. Just as she talks to angels. She says she's realized this since she was a child and her experience with horses taught her how to make contact. I blame my mom and grandparents for teaching me about such matters in a positive light, but because of that I believe things like angels are"forces that surround us and who are a resource and help in all aspects of our lives."
Of course in our society such claims are dismissed and ridiculed or, in the kindest of moments labeled as new age or fringe but even if she is "crazy" (or eccentric; she is royal) like some people claim I think she has a pretty legitimate reason, basically being pushed that far down the line of succession and out of the throne.
Of course when I read that article, and actually just read the headline, the Black Crowe's song "She Talks to Angels" immediately sprung into mind. I've always liked the song even though the lyrics are dark. Sometimes I just really like the thoughts of angels
I'm pretty sure the song is about, as are most songs, heroin or some other drug use, but the metaphor of talking to angels is such a really beautiful one to me. And maybe that is what heroin feels like, like you are actually close to heaven and its beings, which is very enticing (I've been looking for a reason to try heroin, get addicted then break it cold turkey)

She never mentions the word "addiction"
In certain company
Yeah she'll tell you she's an orphan
After you meet her family

She paints her eyes as black as night now
Pulls those shades down tight
Ooh yeah there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain's gonna make everything alright...

(chorus)

She keeps a lock of hair in her pocket
She wears a cross around her neck
The hair is from a little boy
And the cross is someone she has not met, not yet...

(chorus)

She don't know no lover
None that I ever seen
That, to her, don't mean nothing
But to me, it means
It means everything

She paints her eyes as black as night now
Pulls those shades down tight
She gives a smile when the pain comes
Ooh yeah the pain gonna make everything alright
Alright

(chorus):
Ooh yeah she talks to angels
They call her out by her name
Yeah she talks to angels
They call her out
ooh don't you know
they call her out
ooh
they call her out by her name

Here's the video circa 1991. And the song She Talks to Angels from their album Shake Your Moneymaker
So the Princess is probably a little off and the song is about drug use or cutting, and not a greater beauty and a higher consciousness
But isn't it nice to think so?
Black Crowes -She Talks To Angels (live) [mp3]

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Testosterone= Not My Favorite Thing

It makes you dumb, disgusting, crazy and violent. Here are just a few examples:

These two guys hit on or try to strike up conversation with women, by going up to random ones and licking them. Ew. Ew. Ew. I'm not sure this is so funny, though some of the girls seem to take it in stride with good humour after they see the camera, but seriously that's just gross.

Since when has it been okay to do this type of stuff as long as someone is filming?

For this story keep in mind that it is not yet college football season. But a man wearing a Texas Longhorn shirt went into a bar in Oklahoma. And he left without something very important. This is from Deadspin:
"Thomas [the Longhorn supporter] said Beckett[the Sooner Fan], whom he had never met, called him "everything under the sun" for wearing a Longhorns T-shirt into the bar. He said he and his friend sat at a table in the corner and tried to ignore the other man, but other man kept screaming at him. Thomas said he decided he'd had enough after about 20 minutes of Beckett's abuse so he went to the bar to pay his tab. When he turned around, he said Beckett grabbed his crotch and refused to let go. Thomas hit the other man several times before several bar patrons intervened, but Thomas said Beckett didn't let go until Thomas heard his scrotum tear and blood ran down his leg."
Jesus, guys! I know it's a big rivalry and all but... it is still just a game. And a shirt. Poor guy.

And the mystery behind what Marco Materazzi said to Zizou in that pivotal moment in the World Cup has been revealed. Apparently all Materazzi said, when asked if he wanted Zidane to give him his jersey, was "I'd prefer your whore of a sister." Seriously? Is that it? I've said worse and more horrible things when playing Beirut or scrabble. I'm sure I've heard more horrible things when I played basketball when I was 8. He wouldn't have lasted a day in the States. You can't get yourself kicked out of the last and most important game of your life for that!(though I'm not complaining about the results; oh and Forza Italia!) And what was Materazzi thinking releasing the only piece of information in his upcoming book that people actually care about. That is not a good strategy.

Though Zizou's is the most famous headbutt, it is not nearly as impressive as this:
Did you watch it? I'll wait...
Ha! What the hell is in crystal meth? That's terrfiying (though really funny.) See, this is why you shouldn't do (cheap/trashy) drugs.

And I'm not saying that this Wolverine football player is on drugs, dumb or disgusting or violent, but this is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I literally LOL'd. Read it; it is so worth your time. Maybe he'll let me see his fuck lion or at the least, he'll accept my friend request...

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Things that are too cool/trendy for me

but of course I want to experience.

• A Mike Vick Chew Toy. My dog would love one of those. I'm sure your's would as well.
  
• Wu-Tang may finally release their new album after I forget how many years. After all this time I still am somewhat excited about it. This video kind of helps to get me in the mood.
• They're making flying saucers and god knows I want one. I mean how cool would it just be to freak out some of your friends if they happened to be under the influence. It is totally the perfect and new hottness toy.
• Amtrak is offering free booze up to $100 to select customers on select trips. Now all I have to do is find an extra few days and a reason to take a train across country. No matter the hassle it will still be far more pleasant than flying. And if its not, booze has a way of killing pain.
• For Barack to learn basic international politics and realize that his year and a half of foreign policy "experience" doesn't qualify him to be president. Canada has a prime minister, Mr. Obama, not a president. Careful there, your naivete is showing. I don' see what the big deal with Barack being "black" is, I mean either way you slice it Bill Clinton and Warren Harding were already Black Presidents, its old news now.
• I know this is old news at this point but on my wish list is for this 5 year old tennis player to have some sort of normal life, as tough as that may be. (the 9 year old Man U soccer player I guess I care about his future but he is Australian; he's already doomed. J/K, He has a great name.)
• These Republicans, I mean are they all gay? This is getting a tad ridiculous. The president of the Young Republican National Federation "performed an unwanted sex act" on some guy. I mean c'mon. Come out of the closet, you can still be a conservative asshole fuck and sleep with men. Just look up these guys. And for a real good time you could always enlist and go to Afghanistan and score some "primo" smack. All the cool kids are doing it. (and this thing really reminds me of Buffalo Soldiers)
  
• The Colbert Report is releasing a "Best Of" DVD. Get Excited People. That is all.(though speaking of television I wish I had a kid for the sole reason of I would have an excuse to watch this show, it looks incredibly...interesting. Screw it, I'm sure I have Nick Jr. somewhere on my satellite)
  
• I want to be an aristocrat. Their lives never seem boring.
• You know, I think I do need a skeleton of a 4 year old Chinese Girl. Hopefully this lawsuit goes through than I may be able to pick one up at the most bizarre yard sale ever . (And Madonna Wayne Gacy was always one of my favorite names in that band)
• And finally I saw this on Best Week Ever's website and it was too good to pass up. I mean my day of pure materialism is always Wednesday. I'm still planning on waiting for them to work out all the kinks before I buy one, but it is so pretty and so damn cool:
  

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Hmm..Maybe I should have paid attention in D.A.R.E.

then I suppose none of this would be a surprise.)
Bad news all my "seekers of higher consciousness" friends, apparently weed is bad. Not Reefer Madness bad (the stuff in that movie is hysterical, you should see it), but still "harmful" (though if it wasn't would it be as fun?) Anyway a slew of recent studies have shown that one joint does the same damage to your lungs as five ciggies, excuse me cigarettes. (But of course most semi functioning people in society don't smoke five joints a day so the occasional recreationness of weed should be taken into account versus the supposedly more addictive cigarette. ) Not only that, studies now believe marijuana can increase the chance of psychosis later in life.
With scientific research like that I kind of feel like I shouldn't point you to this article from Radar which tells secrets on how not to get busted, incredibly really great tips from an ex-police officer. Its a good read for anyone really. But that would be irresponsible, just as irresponsible as showing you these videos (and more) that you can enjoy while baking or baked. That would just be wrong.


Turn on, tune in, drop out (hmm, they didn't say anything about LSD...)

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