Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Material Lust: Things that are too cool/trendy for me*

* but of course I still want.
According to Boinkology there are 5 sexy fashion essentials: Go-Go Boots, Boyshorts, Wifebeaters, Knee Socks and Hoodies. I'm not sure I agree with them but of course fashion is about far more than strictly essentials (and no I don't know a thing about fashion but I still like to play along)

  • Blackhawk! has a Warrior Wear Series where the shirts and pants have built in tourniquetshat are correctly positioned to minimize blood loss." Good for if, y'know you get into any firefights on your daily commute.
  • Fashion Scientists/Artists/Designers at the School of Arts and Communication at Malmö University have developed a Beat Dress that contains 100 LED lights that pulse according to the rhythm of music. That sounds spectacular for a night of clubbing or raving (are there still raves? that seems so mid 90s), though I hope they can make it actually have a shape instead of looking like the gelatinous body of a jellyfish. I wonder if it could hold up to certain music though (see Autechre or Moby's Thousand)
  • Which you could play on the Rolly the new dancing mp3 player with party lights. So cute and so fun from Sony.
  • Of course doing so much dancing can be exhausting which is where the Self-Sustainable Chair-dress comes into play. (God i love versatile garments.) It's inflatable, made of 7 trash bags, 2 foot pumps and a pair of slippers. "The chair is slowly deflated under the weight of the wearer, motivating him or her to consistently switch between walking and sitting as a loop behavior on the street. The balance between exercise and rest would be maintained by wearing this suit. The purpose of this project is to transform the humdrum experiences produced by routine walking commutes into an amusing interactive performance." Indeed.
  • I don't know about wearing a dress made entirely of condoms. I would think any girl that was wearing that was either incredibly out there, hip and free, or a whore. I would love love love to see someone wear it to a big awards show though.
  • Continuing with the inflatable theme, I know some have harped on me that I can't get past my college days (see comments on the Hollywood is Doomed past from last week) yada yada but I know I wish someone would have told me about a wearable full body sleeping bag back when I was out in K-Ville freezing but too much of an alcoholic to stay in the tent. Future Dukies take note; this could serve you well.
  • Speaking of versatile use items,remember how excited I got last week about the picnic cloth dress? Well this is even better: Demelza Hill has a bag that converts into a rug, for all of those picnics on the run. And it's actually stylish unlike that dress from last week. I seriously want one as well as a desire to go on picnics.
  • Here are some other less functional but cuter bags that I also want: this mid-sized Lily Purse which looks so sophisticated like Audrey Hepburn elegant (and it's on sale!), this one would be more for Mara: I'm sure she would love a dachsund shaped bag or other Poochie shaped bags from Fuzzy Nation (I would rather get a plush toy made from a picture of my cat personally) and then there is this gorgeous yet kind of funky Fendi bag; if anyone wants to give me $1300 for a totally frivolous purchase I would not be opposed.
  • At first I thought these "Save 2nd Base" shirts were a humorous plea to save foreplay, but they are actually shirts whose proceeds go to, I believe Breast Cancer research. I guess that's a much better meaning.
  • Speaking of really cute gestures this is so so romantic. They are "2 of a Kind" engagement rings from Modern Poverty where when you break them apart an engagement with the other will exist. So sweet. I really want one ( though I guess I should work on getting a boy first.)
  • The boy will no doubt be drawn to me if I dress in something from Ulla Johnson who's clothes look so wearable and understated, yet fashionable, even if her models look like 16 year old heroin addicts from the Eastern Bloc who've just woken up. A boy who could afford The Fetish would be greatly appreciated. The car, it cost $612,225 but it's electric; think what you'll save on gas!
  • Though to be honest I would be quite happy with the Chevy E-Flex concept car. Not only is it a hybrid but on the back of the car you can find two segways. That's so sensible yet futuristic! I mean I don't know what I would do without my segway. I don't remember how we managed before:

In The Know: Do You Remember Life Before The Segway?

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