Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Overheard in L.M.E.- Preparing For The Apocalypse

(or Steve Fossett could learn a thing or two from us)
A conversation from late in the evening of the 11th of September

ev livid e: our egos will not burst like balloons. they are like hefty garbage bags that stretch even when sharp pizza boxes are poking out of the side
ev livid e: because we can fit that much more ego in ourselves
ev livid e: god im so poetic, i amaze myself
a dam e: i'm so amazing i write poems about myself
ev livid e: im so amazing i could just stare at myself in the mirror. and never get bored
a dam e: i'm so amazing i could live off my own sweat
a dam e: (ew)
ev livid e: ugh. and never pee apparently
a dam e: recycling; i'm all about it
ev livid e: so you drink your pee, sweat out the pee, collect the sweat, then drink it?
a dam e: i was just gonna lick my skin after a workout
a dam e: but your way works too
ev livid e: you could eat your nails for calcium
ev livid e: and your hair for fiber
a dam e: you realize right now we're preparing people to live in a post apocalyptic future
a dam e: or like on man v wild
ev livid e: and suckle on yourself if you make breastmilk
ev livid e: this is probably one of the most important conversations anyone could ever have. no joke
ev livid e: you have to plan for shit
ev livid e: because shit happens
ev livid e: and LME doesn't fuck around, pussyasses
a dam e: especially when you're totally complacent and like " no i will never have to survive off of my own body"
a dam e: then bam!
ev livid e: i think the first thing i'd eat is my nails
ev livid e: then my hair
ev livid e: then i'd suck my thumb
ev livid e: and then when the skin got pruney
a dam e: just for good measure
ev livid e: then i'd eat the dead skin
a dam e: exfoliate
a dam e: (and i can really see hillary being president and i'm not too opposed)
ev livid e: you can see this because of our current conversation?
ev livid e: what is it called when you eat yourself?
ev livid e: self-cannibalization
a dam e: no, she was on the news and she looked presidential and i liked her hair
ev livid e: she throws binders at people
a dam e: it's called badassity
a dam e: thats what i need in a president
a dam e: though of course I support john edwards always
ev livid e: i support oprah
a dam e: ugh
a dam e: as long as its not obama
ev livid e: why. because his name sounds like osama
ev livid e: racist.
a dam e: it's true
a dam e: i hate black people
ev livid e: i love jewish people
ev livid e: silence equals agreement
ev livid e: agreed!
ev livid e: this has been quite the adventurous conversation!
a dam e: sorry i [had to pee]
a dam e: but i love the jews

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