Red Without Blue

This weekend when I was on this internet looking for a apartment listings of someone who wouldn't mind having a transsexual roomate (if you know anything, holla!) when, I don't know if it was Providence, though it would be nice to think so because I don't think I'd have ever found out about it any other way, but one of the google results led to a story in the San Francisco Chronicle about "Identical Twins Walked A Divergent Path." It tells a fascinating story about two male identical twins one of whom grew up and underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery . As young teens they used drugs after their parent's divorce, and were involved in a dual suicide attempt, which led to a forced separation and I would awesome an awakening and acceptance in Clair of who she really was. It speaks to so many salient points and questions, of identity and family and separation and betrayal. (I highly recommend the video on that page) I feel that through my transition I am, or maybe people believe I am sort of betraying my past and my family and the realness of all our shared experiences as if all we had gone through together was a lie: I can not imagine the isolation and abandonment that could be felt by an identical twin brother. I really hope, and that is one of my great fears that my mom feels like a failure as a mother. Anyway their whole story is so so (amazing) illuminating. And to do this in Montana blows my So Cal mind away. Their story is told in a documentary called Red Without Blue (after the color coding scheme their mother assigned to them when they were young, to tell them apart) screened this year at Sundance where it won an audience award. It seems so real, so powerful and so honest and...I can't even get the emotions out right now. I really want to see this film at a screening (though I'm probably going to end up getting the DVD) And I am so intrigued by Clair (intrigued is my catch all word, in case you hadn't picked that up ) and so proud and happy that it kind of makes me tear up (only a little as I write this-more before.) God bless her. And she's only 2 days older than I am. And my documentarian/cultural anthropologist mind really would love to meet her and get to know her/interview her. But of course it is not just a purely academic quest: I realize more and more how much I would love to have a transgendered friend ( the one I do have is kind of complicated and I don't know if I want to go to a support group) or someone to talk to about this feeling of being an immigrant, not only in society, or of a sex, but most achingly to be an immigrant in one's own body. But you can see the trailer here

Here is the (almost mandatory) myspace page. (and their blog.) Ah I wish someone were to actually respect me for being "powerful." But yeah I feel really connected and I think you should see it. Calpernia thinks so too.

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