Thursday, September 6, 2007

Note to ATP Tour Players: Shane Stant is Probably Available

{and no I'm not advocating violence, especially against Federer. He is amazing to watch and in his all-black U.S. Open outfit he looks incredibly bad ass. And maybe Shane Stant and his expertise is the only way to prevent Roger from winning at least 3 majors a year for the next at least 4 trips around the the sun. Though I can't really see the difference in his hair and how the haircut was worth $800, though it was performed at Sally Hershberger's who looks exactly like and was apparently the inspiration for Shane (who is played by the fabulous and stunning Kate Moennig who incidentally was amazing on the Fallacy episode of SVU which actually made me really really sad and hurt my soul, and thus I love her) so that's awesome, but try to judge for yourself. Still looks the same to me}

Well, that first bit was a lot longer and far queerer than I planned. I just wanted to give my thoughts, few and uninformed as they are about the U.S. Open. Firstly I was really rooting for James Blake because (he's really really hot) his style of play is the kind that I like. It's full of rallies and long points and throwing yourself all over the court; it's very reminiscent, to me, of Agassi. Which is why I think I like women's tennis more, because more of the time points last longer than 3 racket touches. I was really happy that Venus won last night and hope she can win it out (though I'm not opposed to Justine Henin;) I've always liked her more than her sister maybe because she was on tour first, yet her little sister won a Grand Slam event first, and that had to have stung, as well as the constant talk, even from your own father, that your little sis Serena is better. She seems like she's had to go through more yet she seems pretty bubbly, or at least a lot nicer than Serena. Serena sort of scares me actually.
But back to the men's tour I also wanted James Blake to win because he's never won a major and to win the U.S. Open would have been awesome and I always root for an American to win (though not really Andy Roddick; I've given up on him though he did show me something last night.) But it is a long shot, like a sniper in dallas aiming for someone in fort worth, or a someone attempting a 3 from the downtown Library trying to score in Staples) anytime anyone enters one of these tournaments because Federer is there. LAst night's match between Roddick and Federer I wasn't really going to watch because I though Roddick had no chance but I watched some of it and though the style of play was really boring ( I'm not sure how many aces or service winners there were but it was very power tennis; kind of unappealing) but the effort behind it, the story of trying to take down the unstoppable, to restore (if you're Andy Roddick) that hope and redeem the promise you had so long ago in a very dramatic manner, against someone you last beat in 2003.
And he was soo good and wanted it so much but Federer is Federer, a robot, he's a machine, I mean at the end of the match it didn't look like he was even sweating and he never shows any emotion. No human can be that dominant. And certain points it seemed like he was just toying with Roddick and it was a genuine surprise when Roger made an error. (which is something that I thought about when comparing his dominance to Tiger's. When Tiger is dominating he is still not playing directly with someone, he is playing the course and so when you see something phenomenal it is just one man. With Roger you can actually see his interaction with his prey how he breaks down their will and makes them look silly, bending them to his will. And I guess it's Andy's (and most every other player on the tour now) that they came of age at the same time as Federer because they will never win anything (and no I don't believe in Rafael Nadal; clay is a very flukey surface and if you can only really win consistently on that surface you're not a great champion. I mean who outside of Brazil still thinks of Gustavo Kuerten?)
Federer is not just a great champion, he is history, he is inevitability, he is the destroyer of hope. Obviously Mike Tyson was his John the Baptist, prophesizing his Coming. Federer is God. And you can't even really hate him because he seems like a real and humble and genuine guy who will probably cry when his cow dies;and it seems like he actually knew his wife for a long time, and really loves her and didn't just get her when he realized who he is- she's no trophy model though she's really pretty. So I guess all I can do is be a witness to Roger Federer's Transcendence and then at least I'll be able to say to my kids I saw Roger win his 27 Grand Slam titles*. And marveled.

( *which could be a low estimate based on him only winning 3 Grand slam titles for the next 5 years. And keep in mind the current record is 14 by Pete Sampras. If Federer ever figures out clay, well, there's always ping pong.)

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