Wednesday, September 5, 2007

And from the "No Shit" Files

Whatever happened to real scientific inquiry? Some of these guys must be really scared of perishing and just want to get anything peer reviewed and published because these really aren't pushing the world forward. All I can guess is it must be really easy to get a scientific grant now a days because these studies and reports that are seemingly released every few days keep getting more and more obvious and pointless. Two of the most recent examples:

Rock Stars are More Likely to Die Young. Really?! Remember Neil Young's Hey Hey My My (it's better to burn out cuz rust never sleeps) or The Who's My Generation (I hope I die before I get old)? You don't get in the business of being a rock star to retire to a cottage. You mean choosing a career that allows you to indulge all of your desires while confronting none of your demons may be harmful? That some rock stars write such great songs because they have severe issues that are never dealt with because those issues sell a lot of records, and in those cases emotionally betterment might lead to a loss of sales. Or that the whole mystique of being a rock star, of sex drugs and more of both isn't the most conducive one to living to 80?(Have you seen The Decline of Western Civilization I or II?) And in both cases, of the melancholy artist or the party boy rock star, the drugs serve as dangerous self medication. But what most disappoints me is that our good old boys whiskey bent and hell bound (North) American Rock stars live seven years longer than the Europeans. Unacceptable. Pete Wentz, or better yet dude from Nickelback Chad Kroeger it's time to take one for the team.

Oh and I've always wondered about it but finally science has answered this pressing and difficult question. Men want hot women. Some of their findings: "The men also appeared to be much less choosy. Men tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold, Is this seriously what they spend their money on at Indiana?Hey, the University of Indiana; Is that why you kidnapped Megan Richter, Peter Todd, because she was hot? you sick sick bastard.
R.I.P. (probably), Megan

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