Ad Dishin': Super!

And here are my favorite Super Bowl commercials (and no i don't care if this is "so old;" i like to have things in their right and proper places)

I adore Alec Baldwin and I think Hulu's ad "Alec in Huluwood" might've been my favorite...mostly because of Alec (i'd probably even watch The Shadow again just for him, though young thin Alec somehow less appealing)
From Careerbuilder.com "Tips" (I feel like the woman in the car at least twice a week)


I just thought this Monster.com ad "Need a New Job?" was so simple and so well done (the name of the commercial, however, might be a little too simple and generic? isn't the whole point of your company people "need[ing] a new job?"


I liked the Teleflora (I company I had never even heard of so, good job actually using tha 3 million dollars for good) "Talking Flowers" because it reminded me of Harry Potter and his Howler mail, plus that line "no one wants to see you naked" was just mondo killer. and yes I'm trying to bring back the word "mondo"


Cars.com's"David Abernathy" i really liked a lot, except for the end when I guess the commercial actually had to advertise something; i was just kind of hoping it would go on telling about his life. I'd watch that movie...or at least the extended trailer


and finally Coke's "Heist" i just thought was really pretty and cute and almost imaginative (the deal was sealed when the butterflies, fluttered by.) Plus it reminds me that spring is actually coming...I hate winter, or at least winter in large doses

ahhh, awww, ahh; that made me happy.

Ones I didn't like? Those e-trade babies are really over now, and anything where guys were getting hit with bowling balls and other random stuff (like buses) though I have to admit I laughed at this Doritos commercial, but can you blame me? I mean football in the groin had football in the groin.
But one commerical i absolutely detested to my core and made me vomit a little in my mouth was the Pepsi commercial that seemed to connect, and imply that Will.i.Am. [not] is this generation's Bob Dylan. And I know I hate Will.i.am. but he manages to ruin everything he touches, in my eyes and it sudddenly becomes anathema to me but also intellectually the ad is disingenuoius though you don't have to listen to me (though you should, in all things) the New York Times said so too (but more, y'know, factually)

A commercial by TBWA/Chiat/Day, featuring Mr. Dylan and Will.i.am, rewrites history by presenting Pepsi-Cola as the choice of peaceniks, hippies and other youthful rebels. In reality, the Pepsi-Cola parent, PepsiCo, was led at the time by Donald Kendall, a friend of Richard M. Nixon’s, and the soft drink was considered the Republican soda.

In conclusion, drink more Coke (or actually, just drink more water; all that high fructose corn syrup and other junk isn't good for you.)

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Ad Dishin': Cue The Stereotypes

(firstly i can't believe it took me a year and a half to think of a more coherent/catchy name than Ad Diction. ad dishin'... a dishin'.... addition... it works in my mind)
So I originally wanted to use this space to discuss the new ubiqutous Verizon commercial, I'm sure you know the one (i couldn't find the video online.) A pretty (stereo)typical Italian guy is grilling and what looks like a family barbeque. He introduces his best friend who's "like a brother to [him]", he introduces his brother who;s "more like a cousin" and this is where the commercial gets if not interesting at least mention worthy. In the original version that aired as recently as last week he then introduces his uncle "who doesn't owe [him] money so he's a keeper" but in the revised commercial that I first noticed this weekend and didn't know if it was just a attempt to shorten (by a second) the commercial, but in the new version the italian griller guido just introduces his "uncle...he's a keeper." And like I said before i didn't know if it was just me, but I've seen this version exclusively and so I began to think that the Italiam American lobby or anti defamation league was offended, or believed that the mention of someone owing an italian money would bring up old mafia/ loan shark stereotypes and imagery. (and apparently there's already been a lot of huffing and puffing and rigmarole over this) But at what point are you secure enough "as a people" to laugh off such things and instead take it for what it is, a meaningless bad commercial. I don't think Verizon will be able to tip someone over the age into anti- italian bigotry, or that any of the stereotypes brought up are new (and to be honest some of the best achievements in our visual culture have rested on such stereotypes)
If any commercial should offend them I'd think that new Denny's "eat a serious grown up breakfast" commercial where three "wiseguys" are basically planning a hit

I mean really? At least the verizon commercial shows a family having a good time. Plus that breakfast offends me. Umbrage has been taken!

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Ad diction: Bad Howie

I really need to think of a name name for these things.
Anyway Tim, from Tim's Take, and a wonderful facebook/internet friend (who has a blog that is so much better than mine I must hate him for it; i forgot about that) mentioned this in a status a few days back and it was so funny because I had been thinking the exact same thing the first time I saw this commercial and as it has been played incessantly I'm sure you've seen it as well. It's Howie Mandel for Buy.com


Yeah, just like Tim thought that is pretty racy to be playing at basically all hours of the day. But another thing about that commercial that gets to me as I see it 4 or 5 times a day is that fact that Howie is pretty OCD and germophobic and so a) I couldn't imagine him going through someone else's lunch and eating it, and b) and probably more obviously I'm not sure he'd have sex with a stranger in a cubicle during the middle of the day, especially considering how on Deal or No Deal he can't shake the contestant's hands but rather greets them with a pound.

Sigh, the more you know....the more your enjoyment of things decreases...
But in honor of Howie here's his first TV appearance

Oh god; he was zany-ugh. was that ever funny?

This is much much better

Ah! Howie's funny!!! And dirty!!!

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Lightning Jacq Strikes Again

and I pride myself on being so observant, tsk tsk (like a few months ago when The Mentalist was promoting its premiere I immediately had the sensation that I'd seen that story ago, as if "The Mentalist" was just a serious "Psych." Of course since I was in my weird blogging phase I dind't write down that thought as soon as it came to me so there's no proof of my automatic genius..darn)
But anyway ESPN is showing the Duke vs Florida State game and like any good alumna I'm watching because I heart Duke (and Florida State always seems to play us hard which is incredibly annoying; almost as annoying as the fans who are sitting behind the broadcast team and doing things obnoxious college fans should be doing, though I real wish they would just stfu and sit the f*ck down) when they showed one of those famous, and apparently mesmerizing UPS White Board commercials.
you know the ones:


And upon my approximately 15,ooo viewing of one of those commercials it dawned on me: how ironic that UPS a main rival and kind of an improvement of the postal service would have as the theme to its main marketing campaign, and has become rather connected to them, a song by The Postal Service. Wow I am so fracking smart. And yeah I really do think.

At least I think it's ironic- it might just be coincidence- I never can tell.

(maybe this is the difference; coincidence is when a clown dies on his birthday- irony is when the clown dies at your birthday party? because by dying, the clown, which is supposed to make you happy, instead makes you sad, right? i think that goes along with a definition of irony I read someplace where irony is where the intended meaning is the opposite of the real or literal meaning...or I may have just made that up, but it seems to make sense)

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I guess they couldn’t dress him up as God

But let’s be honest we all know that’s what Kobe is.
Anyway as part of I guess a new sneaker campaign Nike has Kobe in costume as great geniuses of history

As Da Vinci (Kobe’s more talented all around)


Kobe as Mozart (Kobe’s more musical)


Kobe as Einstein (Kobe didn’t even need to go to college)


Kobe as George Washington Carver (people aren’t allergic to Kobe unlike peanuts. Oh and Kobe can dunk)


there’s one other Genius ad coming out to complete the series, though I’m not sure when it will be released or who Kobe will be. I kinda feel that for that one it’ll be cheesy and predictable and Kobe will play himself as like a genuis of the court, but I hope to be surprised


Nike Zoom Kobe III- Genius

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"Well,Those Jeans Look Real Good On You"

These may be the creepiest commercials ever. They’re the Calvin Klein ads from the 1990s that seem to be not only inspired by, but actual like porn film casting calls

Somehow I don’t think I’ve ever seen the real ones until now- my mom probably kept me from watching them before they were eventually pulled- but I had seen all the parodies and the real ones are differently better.
I miss the '90s

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Perfectville

everyone by know who's wanted to has probably seen Reebok's Perfectville commercials featuring the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins team receiving quite a gift from the New York Giants


but I had heard the had filmed and prepared another ad, one in case the Patriots had actually won and I really wanted to see the difference. I was just worried that like the Pats Super Bowl XLII shirts were sent to a virtual Africa but luckily you can find the unreleased Perfectville Population 2 ads on Youtube. And so since I thought it would be too soon to send it to my friend my Boston I'll share it with you all instead who may enjoy "what might have been" or good ol' schadenfreude

Well, that was gracious enough.

(and this was the commercial cliffhanger I guess they showed during the game

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All Time Super Bowl Ad Rejects

Because everyone everywhere is talking about this years ads I found this list by Aol’s Videologists a lot more interesting


11.Britney’s Pepsi Ad 2002

10 “Skinny Dip” Bud Light-2007

9 “I Own You” Go Daddy- 2007

8 “Meat/Impotence” Peta-2006

7 “Swear Jar” Bud-2007 (I Love this one)

6 “Got Milk” Peta-2006

5 “See More Coverage” Go Daddy 2006

4 “Bottle Opener” Bud Light –2007

3 “The Kiss” Snickers 2007

2 “Wardrobe Malfunction” Bud Light-2004

1 “Mickey Rooney’s Sauna” Airborne-2005


and speaking of Super Bowl commercials that probably should've been rejected, aboiut that “racist” offensive panda ad (not really sure what the company is)
is it just me or did the male panda sound like Kahn from King of the Hill?
Here’s the Salesgenie ad


and here’s the King of the Hill Episode “Minh Who Knew Too Much” where “Kahn and Minh finally decide to ditch their hillbilly neighbors after Dale runs into their rose bushes.”


it's probably just me.

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Rudy Spins It: Endorsements? Who Needs 'Em

I love spin.
This Florida ad for Rudy Giuliani I really really enjoyed. It's basically saying his lack of endorsements from newspapers is a good thing, because newspapers are part of that nasty liberal media.The non endorsement is his endorsement.
Anyway watch it, it's a blast.
"Not Endorsed"

[UPDATE: if the above video is playing something funky here is the Not Endorsed Web commercial-

Rudy Giuliani: Not Endorsed. Not Winning.

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Ad Diction: Brava Bravia

Here are some Sony Bravia tv ad and these aren’t really just commercials they’re like filmed records of large scale public art, and they’re all so beautiful

Paint explosions ad


Bouncing Balls (music by Jose Gonzalez-a swede with a latin name.)

[download Heartbeats]

The Pyramid (specially made for Egypt)


March of the colorful clay rabbits


so frickin cool. I really feel compelled to buy one of these Tvs now just to support them so they can keep doing amazing commercials like these

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Ads That Make Uncle Sam Want To Hide His Eyes

Budweiser, Coke and Levi Blue Jeans: three iconic American products that in much of the world are synonymous with the United States, and vice versa. So that makes it even funnier that here are three commercials that people have thought to be among the worst, ever and they were conceived, vetted and produced in layers of committees for such huge companies. And you probably won't be surprised to learn they were all made in the 80s. I blame Reagan.
Anyway here is a Budweiser commercial that I feel must've been inspired by that scene in Top Gun-it's just not nearly a cool a concept this time around

Serenading someone in a bar-that's just embarrassing for everyone involved and especially if he didn't know/just met that girl to be singing about "Tracks of My Tears" is kinda creepy.

I guess I can sort of see how this idea was improved-have NFL stars rapping, like the Super Bowl Shuffle, but this time about Diet Coke.It's just really really bad, with the dancing and rhythm and what makes it worse is that like 3 of the best players ever were caught on film moving awkwardly and rapping about Diet Coke. Was this during the "Cola Wars" or whatever? because they do throw a slight jab Pepsi's way.(the Diet Coke commercial starts at about 30 seconds in)


And finally this is a very simple ad. Guy is sitting down. Guy rolls the cuff of his jeans up. Stands up, pirouettes, checks himself out then sits back down on a ledge and smiles. No doubt this caused a rush on Levi's 501 jeans.

I was thinking about it and it seems so weird to me when I'm watching whatever from the 80s and they mention that like people in Soviet Russia are amazed by blue jeans and kind of thought of them as an symbol of freedom, and that still today, a little, but the satirical stereotype of Americans usually involves blue jeans (and a cowboy hat but that's totally different.) Like in other countries and all the land in Russia they couldn't grow whatever blue jeans are made of (I assume cotton?-i've never thought of it really) Or are they just tied to America that they were verboten. I would hope that American Exceptionalism didn't refer strictly to jeans.

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Ad Diction: Hand Drawn Daydream

I'm not really sure what this commercial is advertising, besides maybe Water,which I didn't know was suffering enough where it would need an advertising campaign after however many billions of years of sustaining all life, but anyway it is so well done and cute and it is impossible not to be sucked in by wanting to see what will be drawn next, how just a few lines added or subtracted can totally change our surrogate's world.
It's like those UPS commercials, but about something more exciting than sending a package The bouncy music doesn't hurt either

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Ad Diction: Universal Languages

Beer and Diamonds, Alcohol and Love.

I really love beer commercials. For the most part they're always really hilarious and don't require too much. And a lot of the times they're so funny because you recognize a part of yourself in them. Like in the new genius commercials from Bud Light "Dude." I'll admit that I've used Dude in almost all of these settings but it is so true and gets your point across (mainly about violating social norms or as an interjection used when you don't want to point out too explicitly what the offender has done, or something like that jazz) It's hilarious and brilliant and I love it

I could watch that like ten times in a row and I'm sure I'd still have this smile on my face

On the polar opposite from that is this commercial from, I guess, De Beers with their masterful slogan "A Diamond is Forever", and though I've never been that big a fan of diamonds, (sure I love shiny but they've caused way too much hurt to the people who actually mine them and are all controlled by these diamond cartels that control the release and supply to artificially inflate the price, leading to a Facebook group that I think I'm a member of "Diamonds Are A Greedy Pig's Best Friend")
I have to admit that this time of year I do enjoy the warm and fuzzy glow of their commercials, with snow and lights and love and happiness. Really makes me happy. Shut up, I'm allowed to be girly. Anyway here it is a commercial about he universal language of love (and/or shiny)



The song in this commercial I liked a lot and so I prepared myself for those grueling minutes of research to try to find out what it was. But luckily it didn't take nearly as long as I feared (thanks to Release the Stars)
It's by Landon Pigg and the song is "Falling in Love At A Coffee Shop." According to his website the song was released on the 19th of November (so it's hella new.)
Though I'm not crazy over his name the song is really beautiful and delicate and of course the feelings behind it are truly universal (unless you operate in a world where the language of "Dude" is a vernacular and not a lingua franca)

i think that possibly, maybe i’m falling for you
yes theres a chance that i’ve fallen quite hard over you.
i’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down
i want to come to

i think that possibly, maybe i’m falling for you

no one understands me quite like you do
through all of the shadowy corners of me

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew

i think that possibly, maybe i’m falling for you

yes theres a chance that i’ve fallen quite hard over you.
i’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine
now i’m shining too

because oh because
i’ve fallen quite hard over over you

if i didn’t know you, i’d rather not know
if i couldn’t have you, i’d rather be alone

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while, i never knew

all of the while , all of the while…

Landon Pigg- Falling in Love At A Coffee Shop [download]

warm.fuzzy.

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Great, I've Found a New Fear

All today basically every site I've been to has posted about the Canadian Kitchen Safety PSA. I didn't watch it, because let's be honest that is like the least sexiest tease ever; kitchen safety? in canadia?
But then I watched it in a moment of boredom and let's just say Jesus, I now believe in the importance of kitchen safety


I really thought she would cut off a finger or something but it was so much worse and unexpected.That last shot of her face was way way unnecessary- she looked like old Anakin or one of the adherents of The Divine Bomb in Beneath the Planet of The Apes. And her scream was so terrifying and piercing.

People I can't implore you if you spill grease in a high traffic zone, take the time to clean it up. I'm still a little shaken.
I feel like this is going to be the most talked about psa since that brain on drugs one.

But seriously, cooking from now on is going to take a lot longer, as I mop and dry the floor like every 5 minutes.

Here's the website because there are no accidents [obviously] Just a warning though, this "cheery" flash animation is quite disturbing. Why are Canadians so scary?
(found on Deadspin originally)

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Ad Diction: Trunk Monkey Will Save Us All

excuse me, Trunk Ape will save us all- my friend who's in Africa actually studying apes would be quite pissed at me if I didn't stress the difference between the order of Primates; the Great Apes etc.. But seriously monkey is a hilarious word and makes any connecting words that much funnier.
Anyway I first saw these ads back at school, maybe sophomore year and I assumed they were just for a car dealership in the Research Triangle, until I came home and saw them playing out here as well. I don't know what advertising agency put together this concept but they understand the equation:
Chimps+ Shenanigans=Comedy Gold.

Luckily for both you and me some intrepid and kind soul made a compilation of all 6 Trunk Monkey ads so enjoy (easily the best 3 minutes you'll spend today)

I heart Trunk Monkey. Oh God, I really want one. I swear I'd use him only for good (cough cough mostly cough)

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Ad Diction: Fairy Tale Gum

Here is the Dentyne Ice "Frog Kiss" commercial

It's so sweet and romantic and fairy tale like (total shrek animation) it makes you feel good inside, but the reason I especially like the commercial is because of the song, which has the best use of stuttering in any song outside of Roger Daltrey in My Generation, and I was immediately drawn to.
So I did a little research and found out the song is by Ben's Brother and is called, appropriately enough, Stuttering:

It's been, it's been, it's been, it's been
su-su-such a long time, long time, long time
since anybody touched me, touched me, touched me
the way that you touch me
So if I stutter, stutter, stutter
and I feel so so so unsexy
so maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut at least until you kiss me

[Chorus:]
So kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stuttering
Kiss me again
And ease my su-su su-su su-su su-su-su- suffering

[Verse 2:]
I know I know
it's sy it's sy-sy-symbolic of everything
Everything that's wrong with me and you
So tell me what I'm supposed to do
Oh it's been ages since we've been really honest
but I can make ch-ch-ch-changes if you really want this

[Chorus]
So kiss me again
Cause only you can stop this stut-stut-stut-stuttering
Kiss me again
And ease my *su-su su-su su-su su-su-su- suffering

Aww. It's such a regular song structure and normal (for me) and kind of reminds me of the mid to late 90s rock vibe, but it's so cute and romantic and awesome and I love it. I kind of don't want to hear any of their other stuff for fear that this image of have of them was merely an aberration. But don't let me stop you.

Ben's Brother-Stuttering (mp3)

buy it on iTunes

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Ad Diction: Do The Evolution

My Goodness! My Guinness! Guinness has become way to heavy for me ( I'm a Harp girl) but this is a pretty sweet commercial- I wonder if they would allow this commercial in Kansas though


Pearl Jam-Do The Evolution [download] buy Yield
(and no this is not the song in the video, thank heavens, but I'd trust that you'd see the connection- plus it's a great song)

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Ad Diction: Funk

aww. friends!!!

sorry it was pretty short but it's still cute and awesome.
ok i'm out- deal with it

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Ad Diction:The World's Most Expensive Sex Toy*

alternately titled "Kate Walsh as Ricky Bobby."

Anyway in honor of Kate Walsh's new show "private practice" (which I'll get more into later) I decided having this ad would be appropriate. The ad is for a Cadillac and it's fine and dandy and normal until the end when she demands that when she turns on a car it return the favor. I mean I've heard of getting your kicks on route 66 before but.... Anyway it's a strangely sexy ad and Kate Walsh is just incredibly (would sultry fit here?) gorgeous

though a little dorky when dancing


Scissor Sisters- I Don't Feel Like Dancin' (Live) [download]
*this may actually be the world's most expensive sex toy.

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Ad Diction:Expressly American

I don't know if it's because of the ads saturating the Times website trumpeting the fact that the opinions pages are free because of American Express, or the fact I've seen Tina Fey's commercial all over this week and her "baby" did win the Best Comedy Emmy but I tried to find all of those "My Life, My Card" ads.

So here's "Tina"- (I really think this commercial is hilarious, a strange occurrence in my life)


Ellen's commercial may be my second favorite of the bunch just because it is in black and white and it's just a really really cute and fun concept (and I was actually thinking of using this for Monday Morning Cuteness at one point but...)


I like this Shaun White one because he's cute in a Dennis the Menace/shaggy Ginger way-plus it would be fun to be that young and free


Here is Robert DeNiro's tribute to New York, to his city, in commercial form


I think I've always loved Kate Winslet and I think this commercial is really well done (plus I'm a sucker for a British accent)


This is the M. Night Shymalan AmEx commercial, and just like all of his movies I'm sure you'll be able to figure out the ending about 2/3rds of the way in


Wes Anderson's AmEx commercial was brilliant and quirky and technically amazing (one continuous shot,almost ) and sums up everything I love about him


This Stephen King commercial from, I'm going to guess the 80's seems like it kind have been a protoype of the "My Life My Card" idea

And I don't think this one technically qualifies as a "My Life, My Card" but it's really funny has Superman and it is American Express so I'll allow it

I think this is another part here

Oh and of course there's Andy v. Pong
(wow shilling for a credit card company kind of makes me feel dirty)

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