Addendum

I'm not sure if I mentioned this in that long akward TMI post on Thursday, and I have a thing about ever reading anything I've written, so I'm not going to go back and check. As I sort of rambled about I don't know what love is but I think whoever I thought I liked, or loved or whatever that they all had different things that I just found incredibly interesting about them. And many times looking back I question whether it was true emotion that I felt or whether it was actually just me being intrigued by them, perhaps in a dispassionate or scientific way. Like maybe it was their upbringing, maybe it was tragedy or maybe it was their future dreams but I think that was the intrigue that drew me back. And perhaps some vulnerability that I sensed appeal to my mothering instinct- I've always worried that about this savior complex I think I have, where I always want to save all of the problems of the world or at least the problems of those I care about. I think I can better them I guess, and I fear that these may be what I'm actually feeling for the Beloved; like I want her to be more open emotionally and love unconditionally, but is taking care of someone, can't that be like a sign of love and not necessarily a selfish thing. And being interested in someone, like actually interested about them as a person, and not just sexually, isn't that intrigue perhaps a sign of love? I may just be trying to justify whatever it is that I don't know I'm feeling , but I would like to think that caring about someone's emotional well being and wanting to help them and keep them from some sort of pain, as well as being drawn to their personality and caring to discover the mystery of who they are may be, if not the essence of love, at least a part of it... or at least I hope it is :)

Foreigner- I Want To Know What Love Is (mp3) [you gotta love cheesy power ballads...and emoticons ;)

Sphere: Related Content