Friday, November 9, 2007

So My Friend Had a Baby Last Night

and sent out a text at 10:42 p.m. (that I read but only half digested in my groggy half asleep state- the hour at which I go to bed each night is pathetic) saying "Ayden Christopher Carnell. 8lbs 6 oz. 19 inches. 8.39 p.m. Our beautiful baby boy! I'm in love in a way I have never known!"

First I'd like to think this is Ayden's first internet mention (so in 15 years if theres still a google he can pull this up in a vanity search).

Secondly it seems like 8 pounds 6 ounces is the... like a lot of babies are that weight- I think i was too, though last night I think I inverted the number and though he was born at 19 pounds.

Three, it's just really weird that one of my friend, at my age (actually like 4 months younger) HAS A BABY! I think having a baby has to be the ultimate life change, screw going through gender transition. I mean I can still be the same person after all this is over, ( except with boobs and minus a certain something) but becoming a mom I think it changes you instantly and permanently in substantial ways. It has too. Also this is the first one of my friends to have a baby so I don't know the protocol- I feel I should buy her something

Four, when I reread that line "I'm in love in a way I have never known" I think I was incredibly happy for her but selfishly I got sad and not sure if it was jealousy, maybe envy, because I don't think I'll ever have that feeling of "love in a way I have never known." That unless major major radical advances in science occur I'll never have a kid with my genes, which is kind of depressing to think about. I mean I plan on (eventually) adopting kids or whatever, but as Human Giants reminds us, and I think it may be true, you can't love your adopted kids as much. I mean intellectually and emotionally maybe but that connection of something coming from within you and because of you I don't think that can ever be approached. I mean do you think that Lily Potter could have saved Harry if he had been adopted?

oh well, at least I'll always have my cats...
(p.s. linda cardellini was once on Kenan and Kel playing a goth girl who had a crush on Kenan, or maybe Kel, and me being bored i recently saw it. some may call that nerdy- i call it research.)

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