Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Overheard in L.M.E.- Concering Marriage, Copulation and other Dirty Sex

From a mid evening conversation on the 22nd of August
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

a dam e : that may have been the 2nd best thing you've ever said
ev livid e : what was the best?
ev livid e : bamfrtu
ev livid e : or LME
ev livid e : or the blame game
ev livid e : or. IM AWESOME
a dam e : bamfrtu
a dam e : i believe a few of those were joint ventures
ev livid e : i thought so too. well done
ev livid e : i can't help it if i am a memorable inspirational quote machine
ev livid e : the song was good too
ev livid e : made me think of weddings, and how i fainted at that one this summer
a dam e : i'm not sure if inspirational is the right word
ev livid e : so the video just made me pissed at cats and pissed at showing i was weak
a dam e : thats what happens when you don't eat
ev livid e : how the hell is "badass motherfuckers rule the universe" NOT inspirational?
a dam e : you were weak?
ev livid e : in the knees
ev livid e : because the idea of marriage makes me physically sick
a dam e : so i've heard
ev livid e : except with certain people!
a dam e : stop it!
ev livid e : da dum dum dum!
a dam e : {REDACTED} can only marry a jewess
ev livid e : what? i was thinking of JT
ev livid e : or colin firth.
ev livid e : minus 10-20 years
ev livid e : what a silver fox
a dam e : both of their moms only want them to marry jews as well
a dam e : his hair is still dark
ev livid e : fine. anderson cooper. minus the gay. he's a silver fox
a dam e : i'll give you that
a dam e : gorgeous gorgeous eyes
ev livid e : and the silliest, cutest, and somewhat strangest laugh
ev livid e : plus he is a vanderbilt
ev livid e : which means i could run around biltmore estate at off peak hours
a dam e : i remember before he was a journalist and was still hosting reality shows
a dam e : hahah
a dam e : which is all that really matters
ev livid e : i'd want to go bowling in cornelia's alley
ev livid e : and romp among the vineyards
ev livid e : with mr. cooper
a dam e : i'd want to go bowling in your mom
a dam e : zong!
ev livid e : you mean you'd hit her?!
ev livid e : thats so mean!
ev livid e : violence is terrible!
ev livid e : horrible!
ev livid e : just for that im going to continue making you feel even more awkward
a dam e : i sort of meant i'd copulate with her
a dam e : did i use that right?
ev livid e : no. and you'll never get it right
ev livid e : you know who i'd copulate with?
a dam e : me
ev livid e : or have
a dam e : wait,
a dam e : what?
ev livid e : wait, wikipedia break
a dam e : you don't know who you'd do?
ev livid e : i had to make sure copulate did not mean creating new people
ev livid e : like populate
a dam e : no that's procreate
ev livid e : bunnies populate
ev livid e : or is it bunpulate
ev livid e : bunalte
ev livid e : is the french word
ev livid e : for bunny sex
a dam e : sick
ev livid e : i totally made that up
ev livid e : and you totally believed me for a split second
ev livid e : I WIN
ev livid e : winners win and losers lose
ev livid e : LME!
a dam e : hah
a dam e : well done madame
ev livid e : do you want to see a dirty picture
a dam e : of who
a dam e : cuz i'll blow your mind with one or two {ED. Note- Please, please don't click on those links. UPDATE and especially especially not to 2 Girls 1 Cup. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. I'm scarred and disgusted but still laughing}
ev livid e :
a dam e : ok i won't show you mine
ev livid e : i like this quote: "The two "penial masses" are then intertwined in a tight spiral, the upper coils expanding to form a kind of umbrella."
a dam e : your's wasn't gross
ev livid e : you can stand under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh
a dam e : oh wait. they're fucking?

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