Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Love is Strange

As I may have mentioned before I have a strange habit of reading the New York Times wedding announcements. This sunday was no different and when I came upon this

I was quite excited because I enjoy the same sex "unions." But imagine my surprise and shock and disappointment when I discovered that this was a heterosexual marriage (gasp!) Apparently the "Keith" is Alexandra Keith, who goes by her middle name. Such a horrible trick. Congrats though you two.

And in real strange love news a 24 year old man married an 82 year old in Argentina this weekend. Ew. I can't even imagine how long 58 years is and the sheer weight of all those years is insane. That would be like me marrying one of my friends' great grandfather.
seriously though if women in their 40s are called cougars then what is she? a saber-toothed tiger? The fact she knew him since he was a teenager is incredibly creepy (it's like Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood* but so much worse and wrinkly) but the fact he pursued her is disturbing. There really should be a general and accepted rule; no marrying or sleeping with anyone 40 or more years older than you. Older guy or Older girl it doesn't matter just don't do it**. I think it would be better for everyone. Otherwise you have sentiments like this

Asked if the marriage was purely spiritual, Ms Volpes laughed and replied: "There is going to be more."

I really hope she means she's going to bake him cookies otherwise...I mean ew ew ew. I'm trying to shake that mental image out of my head. I can't even really watch the scenes where the two old people have sex on Tell Me You Love Me. And the guy with those weird sunglasses and horrible beard and the fact that he's "always liked mature ladies"; incredibly creepy.
The whole time I was reading this story all I could think of was this was a real life Little Britain sketch taken to a disgusting saggy South American extreme.

But seriously good luck you two! I'm sure the kids will be beautiful.

*apparently Wagner first saw her when she was like 13 and he was 20 knew he wanted to marry her. or maybe i'm thinking of a movie i can't place right now.

**More tea parties less lemon parties.

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