Thursday, January 24, 2008

An Orientation to Scientology

because I had this and just absolutely had to share.
Some brave intrepid soul snuck a camera into a local Org and videotaped the orientation information film that I guess they show to the public (the videographer has probably "died mysteriously") Anyway it is really like the most bizarre thing ever starting with the horrible accents reading court decisions that proclaim that Scientology is a religion to Hubbard's assistant who tells us how all around perfect Lafayette was ("a master mariner" "fully professional in 29 languages" from his writings he was "almost a household name" the government hounded him because Dianetics exposed the secret government mind control program")
Then the bizarre book store scene- I must admit I did not know that his books are flying off the shelves because they're so popular.
Then the woman stating that Man has never had a better friend than LRH (to which I had to respond what about a dog?) the processor saying after auditing that people got 14% brighter.
I really want to know what exactly scientologists do in church- are there like hymns?
Scientology can increase your perception and make you a better photographer
Can make your patients get better faster
Can help you reach your full po-tential as a musician
And the whole "the IRS conducted the largest study ever and found we were a religion" bit didn't really mention Operation Snow White, did it?

Anyway every moment is just so bizarre and priceless and just indescribably amazing that you really need to just watch it. My favorite bit has to be the "altar call" at the end where our trusted narrator, who has to be a robot, tells us sure we can walk out and never mention Scientology again but that would be dumb, like jumping off a bridge or blowing your brains out, but you have ever right to do it.
I'm sorry I'm going on so long it's have to watch

Ps did anyone else totally get a whole "The Leader is Good, The Leader is Great, I surrender my will after this date" vibe from that?
Scientology- sooo wacky

(though I have to admit when I was young, like 9 or 10 and I'd see a billboard or something for Dianetics I really wanted to make my mom buy it for me, because with the cover of like an erupting volcano and the name I thought it must have had something to do with, or be about dinosaurs and I was deep into my Lil Miss Paleontologist phase)

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