Thursday, January 31, 2008

Schadenfreude Pie: Best Served With a Glassful of Your Enemy’s Tears

Cartman: [walks over to Scott's end of the table] Yes! Yeess! Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott! [Starts licking Scott's tears off his face.] Mm, your tears are so yummy and sweet.

Cartman: Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mm-yummy. [Licks the tears off the table and off Scott's face.] Mm-yummy, you guys!

From John Scalzi’s “Whatever Blog something that is totally up my alley and combines two of my great interest- baking and reveling in the pain , misery and misfortune of my enemies.


It's the world's first Schadenfreude Pie, the pie to enjoy while you are reveling in the horrible misfortunes of others. Why is there a Schadenfreude Pie? Because after I wrote the headline for this entry,
I wondered to myself, "what would Schadenfreude Pie taste like?"

My guess: Dark. Rich. And oh so bittersweet.

And you know what? That's exactly what it tastes like. Also -- and this is really just a perfect but unintentional extension of the whole schadenfreude metaphor -- you really only want a small slice; too much of this pie and it'll sit in the pit of your stomach like a rock of judgment, pulling you down. Small slice? Excellent. Big slice? You'll regret it. Just like schadenfreude itself.

Let's face it, schadenfreude is a dark emotion. It deserves a dark pie. Here are your ingredients.

  • 1 cup dark brown sugar
  • 1 cup dark corn syrup
  • 1/2 cup molasses
  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
  • 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips or chunks
  • 3 large eggs (I used brown eggs in keeping with the spirit of things, but white eggs are fine)
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 splash Kahlua or other coffee liqueur
  • 1 graham cracker pie crust (9 or 10 inches). Choose regular or chocolate graham cracker crust according to taste.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees (Fahrenheit). Melt butter in largish mixing bowl; add in corn syrup, molasses, brown sugar and cinnamon. Mix well. Melt chocolate; fold into existing mixture. Add eggs and Kahlua; mix vigorously until mix has an even consistency. Pour into pie crust (depending on size of crust you may have a little filling mix left over).

Shove into oven, center of middle rack, and bake for about 45 minutes. At 45 minutes, poke pie with butter knife. If butter knife comes out clean, your pie is done; otherwise give it about another five minutes.

Once you take the pie out of the oven, let it set at least 20 minutes before you dig in. It's really good when still warm, however.

Serving recommendations: small slices (this is an awesomely rich pie) and an ice cold glass of milk to go with it.


Sounds tasty. Hm, maybe I should bake that for Super Bowl Sunday, just in case the Giants win.

P.S. you have to really check out the photos and captions on this page; I really enjoyed them

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