Depressing News

I don't know what to believe anymore...besides maybe some Scientologists were involved

From a BBC article that suggest “anti-depressants’ ‘little effect’

New generation anti-depressants have little clinical benefit for most patients, research suggests.

A University of Hull team concluded the drugs actively help only a small group of the most severely depressed.

Marjorie Wallace, head of the mental health charity Sane, said that if these results were confirmed they could be "very disturbing".

But the makers of Prozac and Seroxat, two of the commonest anti-depressants, said they disagreed with the findings.

A spokesman for GlaxoSmithKline, which makes Seroxat, said the study only looked at a "small subset of the total data available".

And Eli Lilly, which makes Prozac, said that "extensive scientific and medical experience has demonstrated it is an effective anti-depressant".

The researchers accept many people believe the drugs do work for them, but argue that could be a placebo effect - people feel better simply because they are taking a medication which they think will help them.

In total, the Hull team, who published their findings in the journal PLoS Medicine, reviewed data on 47 clinical trials.

They reviewed published clinical trial data, and unpublished data secured under Freedom of Information legislation.

They focused on drugs which work by increasing levels of the mood controlling chemical serotonin in the brain.

These included fluoxetine (Prozac) and paroxetine (Seroxat), from the class known as Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs), alongside another similar drug called venlafaxine (Efexor) - all commonly prescribed in the UK.

The number of prescriptions for anti-depressants hit a record high of more than 31 million in England in 2006 - even though official guidance stresses they should not be a first line treatment for mild depression.

There were 16.2m prescriptions for SSRIs alone.

The researchers found that the drugs did have a positive impact on people with mild depression - but the effect was no bigger than that achieved by giving patients a sugar-coated "dummy" pill.

People with severe symptoms appeared to gain more clear-cut benefit - but this might be more down to the fact that they were less likely to respond to the placebo pill, rather than to respond positively to the drugs.

Lead researcher Professor Irving Kirsch said: "The difference in improvement between patients taking placebos and patients taking anti-depressants is not very great.

"This means that depressed people can improve without chemical treatments.

"Given these results, there seems little reason to prescribe anti-depressant medication to any but the most severely depressed patients, unless alternative treatments have failed to provide a benefit."

Professor Kirsch said the findings called into question the current system of reporting drug trials.
The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) is currently reviewing its guidance on the use of antidepressants.

Marjorie Wallace of Sane commented: "If these results were upheld in further studies, they would be very disturbing.

"The newer anti-depressants were the great hope for the future.... These findings could remove what has been seen as a vital choice for thousands in treating what can be a life-threatening condition."

So either I’ve been falling for basically a placebo, which would totally ruin my ego and psychic self and my belief in reality and that I know my body and throw me into turmoil over whether everything was just in my head and or they are actually working but I’m severely depressed

Either way that’s really depressing
Awesome.

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Scientology Strikes Back

Hmm... something seems a little...off

Shawn Lonsdale, whose one-man crusade against Scientology made him a public enemy of the church, was found dead at his home over the weekend in an apparent suicide. He was 39.

Police discovered Lonsdale's body at 12:20 p.m. Saturday after neighbors reported a foul odor. They found a garden hose stretched from the exhaust pipe of Lonsdale's car into a window of his home at 510 N Lincoln Ave., according to Clearwater police spokeswoman Elizabeth Daly-Watts.

Daly-Watts said there were no signs of foul play, and police found what appeared to be a suicide note

Randy Payne, a former Scientologist, said Lonsdale found it impossible to be a full-time church critic and make a living.

Payne said that he last spoke to Lonsdale two months ago, and that Lonsdale had found steady work on the night shift at a local company, stocking shelves. He talked about going back to school and getting a private investigator's license.

"He was getting on with his life," Payne said. "He had every reason to live."

Landlord Joe Critchley said Lonsdale was an ideal tenant: He paid the $650 rent on time every month and he kept the place clean. The last time they talked, Feb. 1 or Feb. 2, Lonsdale seemed fine. "He would be one of the last people I would expect to commit suicide," Critchley said.

Yeah I don't buy it. Apparent suicides always seem so suspicious and in these situations like a a code that means "he probably was offed by Scientologists who are very very defensive"

The way he died? I know that that's a common way but carbon monoxide in a running car was also the way that Lafayette Hubbard's gay son Quentin "killed himself"

I know it's all conspiratorial and just suspicion but in cases like these when I see smoke I think Xenu

plus it happened in Clearwater the town that Scientology basically owns so there's no way if this was actually something other than a suicide that the truth will ever come out
(i was also reminded, by myself, that over the summer the guy who was trying to extort Tom Cruise died...of an apparent suicide. Smoke => Xenu)

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Wow! Sign Me Up!

Scientology must be the most amazing thing ever! According to these “real testimonials”



The Leader is good, The Leader is great I surrender my will as of this date

Maybe Dianetics and Scientology can help you like it did these people in such amazing ways

• Dianetics help you understand what is it and resolves it
• And will get rid of that internal conversation in your head (so will Thorazine -those voices can be nasty)
• Dianetics will prevent you from getting really really really really nervous and freezing (as will alcohol)
• Your decision making process will be [snap snap snap] right there
• Dianetics will give you the power
• You won’t feel the body anymore, you’ll just float (as will psychotropics)
• You will reclassify into a different person (in what I can only assume to be a Total Recall process)
• When you’re about to die just by doing dianetics with an auditor all your vital signs will get back to normal
• Your Allergies will be over
• Your eyesight will increase tremendously
• Your sense of smell will come back, even after 12 years. Whoa
• Dianetics cures Cancer! Cancer!
  
• You’ll feel lighter, walk differently get a brighter face, clearer eyes
• You’ll realize that you’re not twenty years old
• Your eyes and heart will open
• Feel alert when you click your fingers, Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Bing.

Jesus H Christ that’s all very tempting but I think I'll stick with free will and my own money.

(from BWE )

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Leader! Leader! Leader...
Homer: Batman! ... I mean Leader!

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Hmm, Haven’t Mocked Scientology For a Few Days

And because making fun of Tom Cruise for being crazy is always funny
Here’s a parody of that video from the Damn Show via Radar

Ya know I’ve always enjoyed ethics myself

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Big Spending Scientologists

Lafayette Hubbard would be quite happy
From Page Six

Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright — best known as the voice of Bart Simpson — last year gave the church $10 million to help spread the word of founder L. Ron Hubbard into other galaxies.

It was all part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth — meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior.

In 2004, [Tom Cruise Mapother] was awarded a Platinum Meritorious Award for a $2.5 million gift. Two years later, he doled out another $2.5 million, for which the International Association of Scientologists kicked him up to Diamond Meritorious awardee.

Recent Scientology publications reveal that a host of A-list Scientologists were honored for their generosity at a black-tie awards ceremony at the church’s headquarters in Clearwater, Fla., last summer.


Here are some of the celeb gifts from 2007 and their corresponding rewards:

* Nancy Cartwright, 50, Patron Laureate Award: $10 million.
* Kirstie Alley, 57, Diamond Meritorious Award: $5 million.
* John Travolta, 53, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million.
* Kelly Preston, 45, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million.
* Priscilla Presley, 62, Patron Award: $50,000.

Uh oh John- Tom is more clear than you

Well, even if you don’t receive anything else, such as spiritual gifts for your millions upon millions of dollars at least you get “various gold trophies, crystal statuettes and plaques” as well as fancy titles.

Yeah and those are just like donations, which are on top of all the other services and charges (see how much they’ll cost you)
Two hundred and seventy seven thousand dollars (give or take a 10)just to reach OT VIII, jesus hubbard christ! Y'know in Christianity monks and priests take vows of poverty and get to know all the secrets. Bizzare

Is anyone else interested in seeing Nancy Cartwright doing that Tom Cruise video in the voice of Bart Simpson? Because I am, for at least 3 more minutes

Oh and your “Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth — meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior.”
Hmm, how’s that working out for y’all? And though I'm kind of curios about it....It sounds too much to me like cleansing and not so much the good kind- more the ethnic

P.s. Does anyone know who Steve Brackell or Jack and Lucy Murphy are? I want to persecute and boycott.

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The Jokes Write Themselves

And the State of the Union is Ripe for Parody
Here are Youtube offerings of people who obviously aren't that fond of the current administration and GweeB





National Lampoon’s (weren’t they, at one time funny?)






(oh sorry. With all the applause lines and what not it often seems very similar to a rally)


(rats. Did it again)

2007 State of the Union by the Upright Citizens Brigade


CNN story by Jeanne Moos featuring the 2007 State of the Union


Nancy vs. Dick: The Blink Off


and this one is probably my favorite- George Bush’s Bloody Sunday


Listen, Bottom of the 9th, Grand Slam, we all win.

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Ok Last Scientology Post

I know I’ve been a little obsessed with Scientology this morning but this way hopefully I can get it all out of my system.
So a question for the assemblage
Is it wrong to make fun of people based on their beliefs? And I guess I should forgive those born into but….
Anyway here are the names I recognized from Wikipedia’s List of Famous Scientologists

And as I've said before, it’s maybe just me but I think I tend to lose respect for or look differently at celebrities when I know they’re Scientologists (maybe because I think they’re either really insecure or just really dumb to believe this shit) though I think I may look differently at celebs who I know to be like pro-life so who knows. I judge- it’s what I do

Kristie Alley
Anne Archer
Lynsey Bartilson (Lily from Grounded for Life)
Beck
Catherine Bell
Sonny Bono (wha?)
Nancy Cartwright (the voice of Bart Simpson)
Erika Christensen
Jenna Elfman (mind your shirts, baby rapists)
Doug E. Fresh (really? How did that happen?!)
Paul Haggis (Crash was overrated)
Isaac Hayes
Katie Holmes
Jason Lee (poor Pilot Inspektor)
Juliette Lewis (boo scientology! i love her)
Thomas Mapother
Christopher Masterson
Danny Masterson
Haywood Nelson (Dwayne from What’s Happening!!)
Corin Nemec (not Parker Lewis! you bastards!!!)
Michael Pena (damn- he was the best part of Crash)
Laura PreponLisa Marie Presley
Priscilla Presley
Kelly Preston
Leah Remini (I do enjoy her though from back when she was on SBTB)
Patrick Renna (but I loved The Sandlot!!!
Ernie Reyes, Jr (but I loved Surf Ninjas! :(
Giovanni Ribisi
Marissa Ribisi
Billy Sheehan (from Mr. Big)
Ethan Suplee (Earl’s brother from My Name is Earl)
John Travolta
Greta Van Susteren

Let the persecution begin! Where's the Coloseum when you need it?

And here are some former members of “The Church”
including:

Kate Bornstein (?!?!?!) this shocked me- she’s such an amazing writer and so smart. Good thing she got out
Charles Manson
Lou Rawls
Jerry Seinfeld
William S. Burroughs
Mimi Rogers
Chaka Khan
Van Morrison
Christopher Reeve

Sigh
I choose to believe that Scientology killed Superman.

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The Bridge and Me

In my research, aka trying to figure out what the Bridge actually was and if I was using it correctly, I stumbled across the wikipedia article for a film based on Scientology called, interestingly enough The Bridge. Apparently it was highly controversial and was posted as a free download but then mysteriously it was removed and the director disavowed it and removed all references to it,in what I can only think was suppression by Scientology and thus a great conspiracy and so worthy to be shared and brought into light. I'm not vouching for the quality of the film but if Scientologists hate it then it must be worth sharing.
Anyway here is the wiki article

The Bridge "was the "first feature film" about the Church Of Scientology. While it is set against the background of the Church of Scientology and the Sea Org, the characters and situations depicted are fictional.

"Diane Wheat", portrayed by Carole Smith, is a Scientologist who becomes disillusioned with Scientology over the course of the film. A parallel plot follows the father of another Scientologist who attempts to get his daughter to leave Scientology (the father is played by Tom Padgett). The story touches on such Scientology-related issues as the suppressive person doctrine, the state of Clear, security checks, disconnection, Scieno Sitter, and the Church's secret upper level teachings, including the story of Xenu, as well as including a reference to the South Park episode: Trapped in the Closet.

The film ends with a written dedication: For all who speak out - for those who have been silenced.
Former Scientologists were involved in the production of the film.The movie utilized some clips from the Scientology-produced video, How to Use Dianetics: A Visual Guidebook to the Human Mind,as well as archival footage of David Miscavige.

The film was shot over a five-day period at a hotel in Memphis, in order to avoid what the production team thought could be potential interference from Scientologists.
The film was shown on October 16, 2006 as a feature presentation.
The film was initially released as a free download over the Internet in September 2006. The film credits stated: The Bridge' is licensed as royalty-free digital media, and may be distributed online for personal viewing without permission. All offline distribution rights are reserved by Brett Hanover.

Within a few weeks of its release, Hanover removed The Bridge from its public distribution sites. He stated on his website, that "due to copyright issues, I ask that this film be withdrawn from circulation... Do not contact me concerning this film, I am no longer supporting it". The removal was reported by Jeannette Walls, in an MSNBC gossip column. (3rd item)

Hanover's web site no longer contains any reference to the film"

Well here it is, “The Bridge”


And here is Scientology and Me

"a controversial television documentary conducted by reporter John Sweeney, which aired on the BBC programme, Panorama on 14 May 2007. The programme gained particular controversy before and during filming due to unresolved differences on content and approach between Sweeney's production team and Scientology members, who did not want detractors or enemies of the church, who were included in the aired version to be interviewed in the documentary"

you may remember it from that clip where the reporter goes absolutely crazy and gets really angry but it's much more than that- watch the full Panorama episode here

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An Orientation to Scientology

because I had this and just absolutely had to share.
Some brave intrepid soul snuck a camera into a local Org and videotaped the orientation information film that I guess they show to the public (the videographer has probably "died mysteriously") Anyway it is really like the most bizarre thing ever starting with the horrible accents reading court decisions that proclaim that Scientology is a religion to Hubbard's assistant who tells us how all around perfect Lafayette was ("a master mariner" "fully professional in 29 languages" from his writings he was "almost a household name" the government hounded him because Dianetics exposed the secret government mind control program")
Then the bizarre book store scene- I must admit I did not know that his books are flying off the shelves because they're so popular.
Then the woman stating that Man has never had a better friend than LRH (to which I had to respond what about a dog?) the processor saying after auditing that people got 14% brighter.
I really want to know what exactly scientologists do in church- are there like hymns?
Scientology can increase your perception and make you a better photographer
Can make your patients get better faster
Can help you reach your full po-tential as a musician
And the whole "the IRS conducted the largest study ever and found we were a religion" bit didn't really mention Operation Snow White, did it?

Anyway every moment is just so bizarre and priceless and just indescribably amazing that you really need to just watch it. My favorite bit has to be the "altar call" at the end where our trusted narrator, who has to be a robot, tells us sure we can walk out and never mention Scientology again but that would be dumb, like jumping off a bridge or blowing your brains out, but you have ever right to do it.
I'm sorry I'm going on so long it's just...you have to watch


Ps did anyone else totally get a whole "The Leader is Good, The Leader is Great, I surrender my will after this date" vibe from that?
Scientology- sooo wacky

(though I have to admit when I was young, like 9 or 10 and I'd see a billboard or something for Dianetics I really wanted to make my mom buy it for me, because with the cover of like an erupting volcano and the name I thought it must have had something to do with, or be about dinosaurs and I was deep into my Lil Miss Paleontologist phase)

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Fun With Self Auditing

Radar, maybe last week got a hold of what is purported to be "SEC WHOLE TRACK" questionnaire, an internal church document developed Lafayette Ron Hubbard for use during "auditing" sessions and they've done us a great service in publishing some of the 343 questions.
Apparently these questions are asked while hooked up to the E-Meter, something like a polygraph machine (and wouldn't that be a fantastic "Very Special Blossom" episode of Moment of Truth?) but I'm an honest enough person so I think I'll take it right now(and of course you too can play along at home!FFtWF*!) to see if I need to start upon The Bridge.
Oh, LRH

• Have you ever enslaved a population?

um, no

• • Have you ever debased a nation's currency?

I've drawn on money but I don't think that counts

• • Have you ever killed the wrong person?

no, I'm a crack shot

• • Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?

nope

• • Have you ever been a professional critic?

Does what I'm doing now count?

• • Have you ever wiped out a family?

i usually try to leave one survivor to spread the fear and terror of my name and deeds

• • Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?

it's more of a mutual antagonism but yes

• • Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?

hahahhahahahah. what does that mean?

• • Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?

not that I am aware of

• • Have you ever made love to a dead body?

gonna have to say no to this one

• • Have you ever engaged in piracy?

::looks guiltily at mp3 collection::

• • Have you ever been a pimp?

my friends call me Bishop Don Magic Juanita

• • Have you ever eaten a human body?

tasted far less like chicken than I had been led to believe, but no not the whole body-I'm not a glutton

• • Have you ever disfigured a beautiful thing?

what's that about beauty being in the eye of the beholder

• • Have you ever exterminated a species?

if you take the butterfly effect far enough

• • Have you ever been a professional executioner?

amateur only. i do it for the love, not the money

• • Have you given robots a bad name?

um, every chance I get. robots are evil and will one day enslave us all

• • Have you ever set a booby trap?

who hasn't?

• • Have you ever failed to rescue your leader?

i like to look at it like "succeeding in not rescuing"

• • Have you driven anyone insane?

probably. ask some of my old roomates and/or coworkers

• • Have you ever killed the wrong person?

as i said before, i'm never wrong

• • Is anybody looking for you?

don't beat around the bush you know you are.

• • Have you ever set a poor example?

i try not to but that kid was really begging for a cigarette and who can resist those eyes?

• • Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?

that's yet to be definitively determined

• • Are you in hiding?

obvi

• • Have you systematically set up mysteries?

i do it in a more haphazard manner and marvel at the added mystery of that mayhem

• • Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?

well, sometimes people aren't sure if I'm a boy or a girl, does that count?

• • Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?

isn't all action a philisophy and isn't philosophy a type of action

• • Have you ever gone crazy?

"no t.v. and no beer make Homer something something"
"go crazy?"
"don't mind if I do!"

• • Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?

it doesn't take a lot of work (did that help, y'know, persuade you?)

• • Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?

i mean, he wasn't perfect, he had his flaws too. i wouldn't say great I'd say Brezhnev-level

• • Have you ever smothered a baby?

heavens no!

• • Do you deserve to have any friends?

honestly, probably not (and that question was mean. Goddamn LRH)

• • Have you ever castrated anyone?

besides myself?

• • Do you deserve to be enslaved?

I'll answer when my master tells me to. (the safe word is sassafras)

• • Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?

that one

• • Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?

that maybe my life's quest

• • Have you ever zapped anyone?

Bart: Hey Dad, look what I got! [points the gun to him] Zzap! Zzap!
[Homer looks worriedly at Bart]
Zzap! Zzap!

• • Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?

not that I'm aware of and I really hope not

Well that wasn't that bad! my soul is sooo much lighter than a feather

(*Fun For the Whole Family)

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