Tuesday, January 22, 2008

When I find myself in times of trouble

ok so this weekend pretty much sucked. like a lot.the whole caucus fiasco was so frustrating and embarrassing and humiliating and I really don't understand how we only got 4% but anyway that feeling of total failure led to a mini bender on sunday. we got back yesterday and I was going to post something but...it was just going to be some stuff about MLK though i wasn't too enthused because i'm sure it would've been nothing new, plus yesterday January 21st was apparently the saddest day of the year. But anyway so I was planning on jumping back in today but i kind of felt out of practice and then things sparked my interest, and i had so much to write about anyway but ..i couldn't write and i just felt really numb and apathetic so much so that even when hearing about Heath Ledger (which Radar had first before anyone else by like half an hour) and how that beyond overshadowed the Oscar noms, but that didn't motivate me out of my stupor. but yeah i just felt so "meh" that i was planning on writing a post called "too to title this post" which would have talked about, basically everything i just wrote in this above unpunctuated sentence.
But then my Hubby, somehow whenever I feel just low that's when the a letter from her arrives and even though she wrote it more than a month ago it was exactly what i needed to hear (or maybe it's just what i always need to hear) but it was so perfect and i realized why exactly i love her so much,
but the joy that her letter brought me and the transforming of my bad mood that it brought reminded me of that famous McCartney lyric from Let it Be "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom" and so of course I had to hear that song

but thinking of Let it Be reminded me of The Replacements as well (because of their great album of the same name) and another song that usually comes to my mind when I write or hear from Hubby, and one of my favorite sing out loud songs "Can't Hardly Wait"

I'll write you a letter tomorrow
Tonight I can't hold a pen
Someone's got a stamp that I can borrow
I promise not to blow the address again

Lights that flash in the evening,
Through a crack in the drapes

Jesus rides beside me
He never buys any smokes
Hurry up, hurry up, ain't you had enough of this stuff
Ashtray floors, dirty clothes, and filthy jokes

See you're high and lonesome
Try and try and try

Lights that flash in the evening,
Through a hole in the drapes
I'll be home when I'm sleeping
I can't hardly wait

I can't wait. Hardly wait.

because the song sums up my feelings so well and if I could count, I'd be counting down the months until September 2009
but finally as I was writing another one of my friends right after I was still so excited and full of just happiness and joy that as I was trying to write what I was feeling I could only think of the lyrics to Morrissey's "Now My Heart is Full"

Now my heart is full
And I just can't explain
So I won't even try to

(which is always a beautiful affliction to have )

The Beatles- Let it Be [download]
The Replacements- Can't Hardly Wait [download]
Morrissey- Now My Heart is Full [download]

so yeah I thought sharing those would be a good way to rebreak the ice and let me write on this so called blog once more. hopefully i should be back up to speed fairly soon because if I say s myself I've gotta a lot of good stuff. This was a little self indulgent I know but...that girl, I'm probably going to marry her* and get old and have a house full of cats and a used bookstore/coffee shop in Burlington.
I can't hardly wait.

*legal in certain states and countries only of course

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