TMI: Old Crushes

So I was half watching "Wild Tigers I Have Known" earlier a movie in part about the crush a 13 year old gay/trans outcast has on his popular older friend and it got me thinking about like my old crushes, because I guess in a way I don't think I experienced the kind of longing, or the outcastness ostracism that gay middle schoolers did by putting themselves out there and I wonder if I'm jealous of that, though I'm not thinking so.
But as I was remembering I think the first time I had a crush on a gay was when I was like 16, on like my best friend on the football team Ed, something I'm not sure I recognized at the time as "being a crush" and I suppose that one of the guys in the group that I hung out with I may have been drawn to him maybe because i subconsciously had a crush on him. But once again I didn't think of it as anything sexual, because I really didn't recognize puberty was happening until I was like 14 (and when I was 15 one of my friends accused me of being asexual, which I'm not sure I refuted), so the crush may have just been a feeling of more just magnetic attraction
Going back to elementary school my first crush was a girl named Crystal and at that age nothing was even remotely sexual (though I think on our way to AstroCamp one year on our school retreat we were planning to kiss or something in the planetarium.) Oddly enough I think she became a bisexual.
My next crush was a girl named Claire was when I was like 12 and as I'm thinking about it most every girl I had a crush on back then, because I don't think I've "crushed on" a girl since I was like 15, but was a pretty androgynous and didn't have a "womanly body" or whatevs.
And now over the past year (!) since I've been on hormones I think I've started crushing more, which is kind of annoying.

This is going nowhere and really has no point so I'd just like to say it's not a Lemon Party without old Dick {UPDATE 12/14: and I'm super glad that someone else recognized the brilliance in that moment}
::dances the jig off stage::

Sphere: Related Content