America Needs Paxman

Not only does Jeremy Paxman have a really snazzy name but he actually seems to be a hard hitting interviewer which is something this country of Larry King’s and Diane Sawyers needs to restore some integrity,
Welcome to a true no spin zone- he's totally my new favorite thing

Jeremy Paxman and his interview with George Galloway (silly Brits- elections are held in even numbered years)

Absolutely brilliant!
I think the Brits call him Paxo- he’s like a superhero.

Paxman makes Tony Blair cringe by asking if Blair and Bush pray together

Paxman vs. John Bolton. Bolton ends up even redder ( it starts getting good at about 4:15 and only gets better)


"Conservative Home Secretary Michael Howard, refusing to give a simple answer to Jeremy Paxman's question"

Genius

apparently “Paxoed” is a thing
"Bob Ainsworth, the British Armed Forces Minister, grilled on Newsnight by Jeremy Paxman on UK troop withdrawals"

and that guy totally just got Paxoed


The world needs more Paxo.


Just goes to show that journalism isn’t dead everywhere…

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Cool and Unusual Sports Pranks

by now everyone it seems has seen or shown the Brett Myers prank on his Philadelphia Phillies teammate where Brett gets everyone from the manager, to the GM to the press to play along with the idea that his teammate kyle Kendrick has been traded to a Japanese team, but it is brilliant and so elaborate and the look of shock and total daze on the guy's face the whole time is amazing and so if you haven't seen it


(though it was never something I thought about before but like he was supposed to leave at 7:30 the next morning to go to Japan and being a professional athlete and getting traded has to be the most disruptive thing, having to rearrange your life on the fly)
and here's another prank, though this time the prank is supposed to be on the fans. At a Houston Rockets basketball game a man dropped to one knee to propose to the love of his life. Hilarity ensues

http://view.break.com/453711 - Watch more free videos
I'm pretty sure that's fake but what I'm pretty sure isn't fake, and for everyone who cares more about soccer than our silly little American sports, José María Gutiérrez, Guti of Real Madrid pulled a John Travolta and was photographed kissing a male "friend" after a private dinner for two

Oh Guti... I think you may be hot, can't tell though, just assuming

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Oh Snap!

I didn't watch the Grammys so this may be old news but I saw it on like the Chelsea Handler show and it was phenomenal. Vince Gill in his acceptance speech delivers a burn to Kanye and...and it was nice.

Though I feel within the next year they're going to work together on something just to show that everything is fine and that Kanye isn't ultra-sensitive to every real or perceived slight.
And even though I'm not sure I can name anything Vince has ever done he seems and has always struck me as a really genuine person

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About the Last, oh Week or so.

Sorry about that. Anyway my computer, as old and loved as she is kinda broke down a little bit and I had to get a new part that did something with my power supply, I'm not sure exactly but with still trying to move in and having to fly back and forth between L.A. and San Francisco (not to mention I had to specially order it form the Apple Store online) my "hiatus" went on for a little longer than I had planned. But to be completely honest and open I actually finally got the piece last Tuesday night. After a night of letting my computer charge and all that good stuff I was thinking about posting last Wednesday but, in certain regards I'm a little neurotic and I didn't want to start posting again on a day that was the ending of the month and also in the middle of the week. So I decided to wait until the first monday to get this wagon back on its wheels.
What did I do during the time I wasn't tied to this laptop and trying to find content? I'm glad you asked

• Last Thursday and Friday I read Hubby's letters and responding to them, maybe a little too verbosely. I wrote 3 seperate letters one of which was about 11 pages hand written. We "discussed" objectivism and existentialism and I also discovered that my apartment is less well decorated than is her hut in Burkina Faso.
• In another example of maybe I really did need this site as a place to ramble, 3 of my guy friends and I started on a Gmail "conversation" that is at more than 200 messages within the past like 13 days. The topics ranged from sports, to sports, to superiority of cities to me writing a response (which I didn't plan on being so angry as it turned out) to my conservative friend who has started using the term "islamofascism" in which I basically told him to put up or shut up and join the military. Then I kinda freaked out and wrote one of my girlfriends if that was too harsh, because I was worried that I'd no longer be his friend (my compulsion to have everyone like me is kind of irritating..like all the time.)
• Didn't dress up for Halloween for only the second time in the last six years
  
• Discovered that my metabolism is pretty insane and that I can lose about 6 pounds in a week just by not eating after 7.
• Decided that I should go to New York for new years and see friends (all of whom seem to live there.) This travel plan made me realize I need to buy some boots.
• On Facebook found out there's someone else with my name, a Jacqueline Dey from Australia. I guess she was "the first one" though; she's 3 years older than I.
• Disengaged from celebrity gossip for the first time in quite awhile. And it felt glorious.
• Realized I really don't like the cold (something I seem to always forget during the spring and summer months when I think the cold will never come.)
  
• Announced that if John Edwards didn't win the presidency that I would renounce my United States citizenship (because I did not want to be associated with people who don't understand that John Edwards is not only the best candidate but also the Hope for our time.
• Worried at all the press that Barack has been getting in the last week as Hillary seemed to be faltering and started dreading the possibility of Barack making up ground.
• Almost vomited while reading this article by Andrew Sulivan about "The Great [Half] White Hope" Barack
  
• I actually lost sleep writing in my head an article that pretty much said " even if you vote for Barack that doesn't mean you're not racist and in fact you're going so far overboard trying to prove you're not racist that you actually are. If you looked past skin color you'd see John Edwards stands for everything that Barack stole from him, and more. but without the kenyan father."
• Conspired with my conservative friend to make up campaign signs that say simply "VOTE barack HUSSEIN obama" and plant them throughout the South, and especially in South Carolina. I'm sure that may change a few minds of the good ol' red blooded military families down there. (lee atwater may have been evil, but he won."
  
• Marveled at the ownage in John Edwards' "Politics of Parsing" video and answered Time magazine's question in the affirmative.
• Also while reading Time found out that I'm a bad cat mother.
• Watched Network like 4 times and decided it was the most prescient and one of the best movies ever and got sorta angry that Rocky won best picture.
• Finally understood that there are real people out there when I got an email from Jake Lipman about a post I did about her marriage announcement to Philip Rothman. She seems really cool and luckily she wasn't offended. ( I did not realize she starred as the Little Prince. umm..awesome!)
  
• Passed out too many nights at like 9:30. Thought that while I had amazing dreams, I should probably get out more.

i'm sure i did something else...who knows? whatevs.

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The Best Coming Out Speech Ever

So I had a speech ready for today but then I decided National Coming Out Day yada and so I thought I should find one more topical and so as I was looking for coming out speeches and when I found this video of Stuart from the british Queer as Folk coming out to his family to spite a blackmailing kid (or so I gather from the video- I don't watch the show) I was blown away. (once again I had to do strange tech stuff I didn't know I could do because the original video had its embedding disabled by request. You can watch that one here)


‘I’m queer, I’m gay, I’m homosexual, I’m a
poof, I’m a poofter, I’m a ponce. I’m a bum
boy, batty boy, backside artist, bugger, I’m
bent. I am that arse bandit, I lift those shirts.
I’m a faggot assed, fudge packing, shit stab-
bing, uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs
restaurant; I dance at the other end of the ball-
room. I’m Moses and the parting of the red
cheeks. I fuck and I’m fucked. I suck and I’m
sucked. I rim them and wank them and every
single man’s had the fucking time of his life.
And I’m not a pervert’

I so had never heard like half those slurs before; this blog is so educational. Oh and if you wanna see more coming out videos you can go to youtube or here are some (more my speed) videos about coming out as transsexual, which I didn't watch but I'm sure they're heartfelt.

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A Truly Brilliant Video (if you hate the Pats as you should)

this was found on Deadspin and it is brilliant and speaks truth about the Pats and sums up how I feel (and yes I readily admit my hatred of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick).

Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat.


Well done Ryan Parker, well done.
(And since I know you want to sing along here are the lyrics and chords:)

[G] I never called Bill Belichick a [C] genius,
Cause [D] I remember when he coached the [Bm] Browns,
[Em] He was such a failure up in [Am] Cleveland,
The [C] franchise folded up and left the [D] town,
[G] I never said Tom Brady was a [C] hero,
Cause [D] I remember him at [Bm] Michigan,
[Em] Bringing Gatorade to Brian [Am] Griese,
[C] Except for garbage [D] time when he got [G] in,

So wasn't [C] it a little shady when this [Em] quarterback named Brady,
[D] Suddenly became a mega [G] star,
Wasn't [C] it a bit confusing when this [Em] coach who's used to losing,
[D] Earned the reputation that he's [G] smart,
When you [C] know which plays are coming, it can [Em] make a coach look cunning,
And [D] make an average quarterback [G] elite,
Cheating's [C] how they got their glory, it's the [Em] true deceitful story,
Of [D] Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat, [G]

[G] The tabloids say they've cheated on their [C] girlfriends,
And [D] someone should review their [Bm] SATs,
The [Em] IRS should look into their [Am] taxes,
And their [C] colleges should check out their [D] degrees,
[G] Mangini knew the tricks that they were [C] using,
So [D] he convinced the Jets to turn them [Bm] in,
Cause [Em] he was getting sick and tired of [Am] losing,
[C] To a team that [D] has to cheat to [G] win,

But Brady's [C] made a lot of money and he's [Em] scored a lot of honeys,
By [D] showing off his championship [G] rings,
Bill's been [C] praised because he's clever, and [Em] called the greatest ever,
And [D] lived with all the luxuries that [G] brings,
But let's [C] confiscate their Sony's, and [Em] expose them both as phonies,
And [D] see how many teams that they can [G] beat,
Some would [C] say it won't be any, if it [Em] is, it won't be many,
Poor [D] Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat, [G]
No more [C] lucky play selection, into [Em] proper blitz protection,
For [D] Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat, [G]
Cause cheating's [C] how they got their glory, it's the [Em] true deceitful story,
Of [C] Shady Brady [D] and Bill Belicheat [G]

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The Best Opening Line to a News Story. Ever.

If I ever write for the AP I'm going to do this kind of thing all the time. From an article entitled Bush Has Bad Day at Sydney Opera House:

This may not mean much, if anything to you but....
That is awesome! Not simply for the fact the Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day (you need to have this book for your kids) was one of my favorite books growing up (and I can watch an adaption online-sweet), but anytime you can incorporate obscure pop culture jabs at the President (including having the real story be located where the protagonist in the work of fiction wants to escape to), especially when you basically equate Gweeb with a 7 year old kid is amazing. Brilliant! I didn't even read the rest of the article because I'm sure it would be boring and a let down. But bravo Tom Raum. Let's make out.

(and in quick additional Gweeb ownage the new DSCC slogan for 2008 has been released. What is it? "Sorry W, I'm The Decider". nice.)

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Ad Diction: Poor Andy

I decided this would be a good spot to just send a small tribute to Andy Roddick, who I'm kind of indifferent too, who played a hell of a match last night, almost perfect really, and still lost in straight sets. You really have to feel bad for the guy ( I guess I can't call him "kid" since he's older than me)- if only one player didn't exist, or was banned from the sport because he's a robot, he'd have so much more confidence and so many more Slams. But I guess it's his lot, as it probably is for all the men's players to be overshadowed and toyed with by Roger Federer.
So here is Andy's best moment of the past few years, as determined by me, like five minutes ago: Roddick vs. Pong, and once again off the top of my head I don't know what the commercial is advertisting (which kind of defeats the purpose, but whatevs)

And it is sorta mean to say but the first 33 seconds of that ad is what Andy looks like whenever he plays Roger. Pity.
I wasn't going to show this next commercial, focused on Roger, but it is probably better than Andy's (getting owned on levels), though it shows there is one person who still outshines Federer (A note: this commercial was released early this summer like in June and Roger no longer has 10 majors, he has 12- and yes I've conceded to the inevitability of this year's U.S. Open)

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A Truly Classic Commercial

So sometime last week when I was on Youtube doing...research I came upon the long version of that old animated Tootsie Roll Pop commercial that they still use. ( I don't think I've actually had a tootsie roll since I was like 9, and I'm pretty sure I don't like them but I still dig the commercial) I had never seen the full minute version so I was naturally intrigued and watched it. Since you probably haven't seen it either this should be a treat for you.

I'm not sure I like this version as much as the shorter spot. The story seems to be more of like some native folktale allegory and fables something like the Anansi stories we used to read in elementary school, instead of it just being a commercial about a smart ass and lazy owl owning a far too trusting kid.

Yeah.That owl is pretty sweet. And let that be a lesson to you kid; never give up your goodies that easily and don't trust someone who's still wearing a mortar board.
Wow, what did we ever do in a world before Youtube?

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And now for something completely different

Yeah the last post was a bit of a downer so to make it up to you I give you this video. It really needs no set-up... Except it's always fun and games until Johnny falls to the ground crying like a 4 year old girl.



Haahahaa. I just watched that like 8 times in a row. I think my favorite part is when the fatter kid sees the skateboard coming and shrieks "Oh shit." Bloody Brilliant.That really made me happy. Does the fact that I enjoy laughing at children in pain make me a horrible person? Maaybbee, but here it is in slo-mo




(via With Leather)

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When Conservatives Get Owned, We All Win

And this time it's been done with their own words and actions!
One of Rudy's methods of refuting the many documented health problems that Ground Zero workers have been stricken with is to say he was basically one of them and he spent as much time in that same environment ( implying that either he's tougher than they are or that his policies didn't contribute to their declining health because, in his mind and to his knowledge the air wasn't toxic.) Well...about that. It has now been studied and reported that during those first few months after 9/11, while most workers were at the site, Rudy was busy watching the eventual World Series Loser Yankees play. In fact he spent about twice as much time with the boys in Pinstripes, then the ones in ventilation masks. Do lies and exaggerations just naturally and effortlessly come out of their mouths? And do they even notice or care when the truth is told? Who knows. But this is yet another reason why Rudy can't win.

Well, it seems that everyone knew invading Iraq and trying to occupy it would be a horrible idea. Including one of the main architects/evil overlord Darth Cheney. Remember in the rush to war the belief that our troops would be greeted with flowers and welcomed as liberators when they entered Baghdad? (if you don't, there's always video footage and transcripts.) Well back when Dicky was a newly ex-Secretary of Defense in 1994 he had a very very different view.

It hasn't gotten that bad yet (though never say never) and of course he'd never admit he was wrong. (cognitive dissonance much?) The level of depravity in that man and this administration and the ideological fanaticism at the costs of tens of thousands of lives...I'm disgusted. Let's move on.

And finally here is supreme ownage by Al Franken on Ann Coulter. It doesn't need much set up or introduction so just enjoy the sweetness.

Well done, well done.

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Barack Is Not Capable of Original Thought

It happened once before where Barack stole a line from John Edwards (I mentioned it here and rightly ridiculed him) and once again his hand is in the cookie jar. To paraphrase Reagan there he goes again. Once again his thievery is showing. This is from the Washington Post "Sleuth" Blog

Sources close to Edwards say Obama is parroting one of the former North Carolina senator's best lines -- that America needs a president who's "not afraid to use the word 'union.'" They noticed that last Saturday in Iowa at an AFL-CIO event Obama said, "We need a president...who is not afraid to mention unions."

News reports since April have quoted Edwards using a similar line. In June, speaking to unionized local and state government employees, Edwards said, "Isn't it time to have a president of the United States who's not afraid to say the word 'union' and is proud to stand with you and your cause?"

He was quoted again last month at a United Steelworkers forum saying, "We need a president not afraid to use the word 'union.'"

A spokesman for Barack's campaign shrugged it off by saying "What a silly thing to point out in so serious a race" before resorting back to Barack's only selling point it seems, the fact that as a STATE senator, and obviously in a position to make a difference, was against the War. Look Barack you're beginning to seem to still be pressing down on the pedal because you're still sounding that one note. It's time to stop living off a past decision made when you were in no position to make a difference. ( I was against the war in 2000; you can ask my AP Comparative Government class. Am I qualified to be president?)

What a silly thing to point out in so serious a race.

No I think this is a very important thing to point out. I believe we need a president who is able to craft his own thoughts and form his own ideas, or at the very least admit where the stolen thought came from. Isn't there some level of honesty and integrity that should come into play, that same honesty and integrity that you always claim to be about? Isn't that the what we really need in the White House after these last two terms and the damage done to our credibility and reputation upon all fronts and stages?
This is what you should do Barack, go back to the Senate or some other public service enterprise and then run again in 2016 when you're actually experienced. And you can also use those next eight years to help raise your kids and put your family first.
It really is in the best interest of everyone.

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Duke Sports; Destined to Break My Heart...Again

some links that I have had cluttering my bookmarks all about Duke (dear old)

• Some really rich old guy got to go to K's Basketball Academy and he wrote about it here. How do I know he's rich and old? Because you have to be at least 35 and it cost $10,000 for the weekend. I guess for a lot of people it is a life time dream, and if you can drop 10k on a weekend go for it, though the things that could be done with that money... It's a lot of money.But it really seems worth it, with the plethora of Duke legends who come in, and apparently K is a lot calmer and nicer than his regular game time demeanor. I really wanna go. First step- get rich. 2nd step get old. Working on them both. I really need to be an Iron Duke.
• But of course you don't have to be old or rich to interact with The Team. No Duke is paradise where everything is wonderful and the "gods" interact with mere mortals. This Dukie got to watch a pick up game at Wilson with the teams constituted as "Duke recruits Nolan Smith and Taylor King, along with Jon Scheyer and Jay Williams [on one team]. The other team featured Greg Paulus, Lance Thomas, Gerald Henderson, and Chris Carrawell. " That must have been awesome to watch and he has some pretty good observations. I'm getting excited for the season, I must admit. I have so much faith in G-Love ( Gerald Henderson "you can't spell his name without God) and Special Sauce ( Greg Paulus.)
• As for our football team. ::sigh:: I always have so much faith in them and after we beat Carolina my freshman year I was certain we would win a bowl game. Instead we won like 2 games in the next 3 years. But I still believe that Duke Football is on the verge of greatness, probably two steps away from an ACC championship (hey it happened to Wake, who we should have beaten by 3 scores.) Last year we should have won like at least 5 games, except for our damn kicker ( I hate your Surgan) and some bad luck. And we are continuing to get good recruits our talent level is rising ( though to replace the one and only John Talley is a major feat. I can't believe he didn't get drafted.) But enough about the past and hypothetical futures. It's a new year and I'm predicting a bowl game, though it would really help if one of our best defenders, Michael Tauiliili didn't get arrested in the Cook-Out (mmmm) parking lot. According to the report "[the linebacker,] who was driving his 2000 Ford Expedition, failed to stop after the wreck, despite having caused property damage, and then got into some kind of altercation during which he allegedly pointed a gun at a person and physically assaulted them. Tauiliili had a concealed knife on his person at the time of his arrest and was accused of pointing a BB gun at an individual, according to warrants.
  Michael said Monday she didn't have details of the fight Tauiliili allegedly engaged in or details of the injuries he allegedly caused the victim but said that the linebacker's blood alcohol was .12 at the time of his arrest." C'mon Tauilililillilil, you're better than that. And he's suspended indefinitely which is a major loss. But we will get through it and (the) Thaddeus Lewis will lead us to the promised land. Thaddeus Lewis for the Heisman; you heard it hear first. We already have a vote in the polls ( I Love you Spurrier) [UPDATE: If you wanna see some serious ownage about this, skim this post but read the comments: Simply Brilliant] . Soon we will have more.
  
• Of course it would help our entire athletic department if we had a change of leadership. Instead of Firing Joe Alleva as they should have, Duke rewarded him with a contract extension. It's ridiculous and he's worthless and living off the surplus and legacy of the Tom Butters era. And it is a rumour that I heard from my friend, but he was in a position to know, that Steve Spurrier before he took the South Carolina job wanted to come back to Duke but Alleva didn't return the phone call. Fucking unacceptable, damn your loyalty I want a major title! That is all.
  

Oh and this isn't about Duke but as so many people say Duke Basketball is like the Yankees I'll let that be the link. Anyway Derek Jeter has herpes! Herpes! And a report is stating that he gave it to Jessica Alba. It may not be true but I choose to believe it. I really hate him even more know. Damn Yankees, ruining America and our natural resources. I mean Jeter has been linked to like everyone in Hollywood and everyone sleeps with everyone. Derek Jeter is like a plague rat. And disgusting and I hate him. He must be stopped.

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You're (truly) The Man Now Dog

I can't decide which one of these ytmnds I like more all including "great" icons and leaders

this one with Bob Barker pushing someone out of the closet
a lowly Nazi getting owned by Hitlersomeone getting smacked down for Jesus
or this one that will probably cause protests with the prophet Muhammed throwing it down (big fella)

Yup, I'm going to hell.

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Will Hunting

I don't know what its been lately, whether I've just had Matt Damon on the...mind or whether I've become more defiantly confrontational in my own head towards certain people but I had that certain scene from Good Will Hunting in my head

Sean: My father was an alcoholic. Mean fuckin' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will:I used to go with the wrench.
Sean:Why?
Will: Cause fuck him, that' why.

But then I remembered the rest of the scene; it is a truly amazing scene where you can actually see the bravado and facade melt away from Will. It's really powerful and emotional, and if you don't remember it you can watch it here, with Japanese subtitles as a "bonus feature"
And because I didn't want something that emotional this early in the morning I remembered my absolute favorite scene from that movie a scene that is probably more "cool" and damn badass. (The fact it has Cyril from Oz as the asshole, took me aback at first; sometimes I forget that actors play different roles.)


"My boy's wicked smaht!" (and fucking hot; jesus!)
Anywhoo I'm off to write Hubby my monthly missive so this'll be a very light day, but I'll take that scene with me as a reminder to "at least [not] be unoriginal" (though by quoting someone else's thought in that manner is somewhat ironic and unoriginal it seems...)

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Owned!

The Rest of the biosphere- by Humanity

Comfortable Weather- By perhaps, maybe, global warming.

Bill Gates- by the World's New Richest Person

Artistic Integrity- by Fergie (S to the E to the L-L-O-U-T)

Rocky Delgadillo- by the L.A. Time editorial board

Tony Snow- by the White House Press Corps

Justice, Fairness and the American People- by George Bush, commuting Libby.

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Ann Coulter is a fucking bitch

This will be short because I don't wanna waste time thinking about her but Ann Coulter is a horrible bitch and I must admit I'm a little offended when people call her a transsexual because we're way cooler than her. Be gone bitch; you're now a parody. So in closing God Bless Elizabeth Edwards. I.Love. Her.




Ann Coulter Owned.

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