Thursday, February 5, 2009

Tips For Boys

(or for anyone really)

1)If you ever meet this girl

her name is Dominique Fisher and DO NOT HOOK UP WITH HER! She's crazy and not only will she cut you, but she'll carve her name into you

from the Daily Mail

A drunken fling ended in disaster for a man who woke up to find his lover's name carved into his arm.
Dominique Fisher, 22, used a Stanley knife to write her name on Wayne Robinson's upper arm.
She inflicted the injuries on the 24-year-old at her home in Blackburn, Lancashire.*
Mr Robinson woke to find his body decorated with a star on his back, 'Dominique' written on his upper right arm, and numerous slash marks on his left arm and shoulder.
He told police he had drunk vodka and taken Valium and was not awake during the incident on the night of June 14 last year.

Ow; it's like a cross between The Business of Strangers and American Psycho. *And please no jokes about there being a few more than 10 thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire now...after that one. moving on

2) Guys if you think it might be safer just handle yourself then brave the Dominique Fishers of the world and you have to...ahem...release yourself at work, find out which company this is and try your darndest to get hired there. From Slate's "Dear Prudence"
Dear Prudence,
I work in an office that I share with two other people. The desks are in a triangle with short partitions between us, but it is possible to see one another through the gaps. One co-worker is part-time, so I am frequently alone with the third. Lately, I have been hearing and then seeing him participating in a solo activity usually done in the bedroom. Once I figured out for sure what he was doing, I went to human resources. The manager told me that as she has only my word about this, I should go find her when he does it again so she can know for herself. The problem is, she is never around when it happens. He stops if I get up to go out the door and starts when I sit down again. I feel violated, abused, and totally grossed out. What should I do?

3. Failing to find that company might lead you to one other option, but it's a good one and it doesn't seem like your bosses would care. Work in Peru! Drink in Peru! Drink while working in Peru!
From Lemondrop
You don't have to worry about hiding that bottle of Hennessy in your desk anymore. At least not if you work in Peru, where the nation's top court has ruled that workers can't be fired for being drunk on the job. Woo-hoo!

Peru's Constitutional Tribunal has said that you can't get fired for being a little tipsy at work, as long as you're not hurting or offending anybody.

So to make sure you don't offend anyone with either you're drinking or your masturbating just be sure to pass around the Pisco, yo.

You're welcome

Guns n' Roses- You're Crazy [mp3]
The Beatles- A Day In The Life [mp3]
Talking Heads- Psycho Killer [mp3]

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