Thursday, February 5, 2009

Tinged With Envy

I'd Be Lying If I Said I Wasn't Jealous
From the Daily Mail

The pop singer Kim Petras - born Tim - is well known in Germany for having started hormone replacement therapy as part of her gender transition by the age of 12.

Now 16, she completed Gender Reassignment Surgery in November, according to a posting on her blog.

Dr Bernd Meyenburg who heads the Psychiatric Special Outpatient Clinic for Children and Adolescents with Identity Disorders at the University of Frankfurt Hospital said: 'Very few youth psychiatrists have any experience with transsexual developments. The families wander from one psychiatrist to the next.

'I was always against such operations on children so young but after seeing how happy one of my patients was and how well adjusted after returning from having the operation abroad while still a teenager – I realised that in some cases it is the right decision.

In Germany, such operations are not usually allowed until the patient is 18.

However Kim managed to convince doctors when she was just 12 that she should have the surgery.

By 14 she was officially registered as a girl - and was already famous for her choice.

The costs of her procedure were covered by health insurance as her condition was officially diagnosed as an illness.

Ok I think that's just incredible and good for her! She's gorgeous (though perhaps a little generic, which is what most trannies are going for, but also I've discovered most white girls look kinda the same to me.)
But I was thinking about myself because I am obviously the measure of all things and I'm not sure I could've handled anything of this, what I'm going through now, what she's done and is doing at her age. Even though I wanted it so badly and I prayed every night for god to change me (before I lost my faith) I don't think I was "ready" and maybe my family wouldn't have been ready ten years ago- the increase in visibility and acceptance in the last decade has been incredible- but even though I started this whole transition shebang pretty early I wish I had the courage to start earlier so a) I wouldn't feel so disfigured by testosterone but also so I would have been able to enjoy "growing up." One thing I've come to realize is it's pretty hard, maybe not "hard" but it's strange to go from boyhood to becoming a woman without that period of "girlhood" where you're supposed to make bad fashion choices and slip in your heels and be awkward around boys and like at my age I feel that women are supposed to be confident and mature and together and most of the time I don't feel I'm any of those things.
So yeah a part of me is jealous that she was able to start with the support of her family when she was so young, though I might not have gotten the support and the wonderful experiences I've gotten this way, but I should always keep in mind that for every younger tranny that I'm jealous of there are probably at least 4 older ones who transitioned in their 40s after being married and having kids who probably look at me with that same jealousy.
But we're all wonderful and it's great that there are varied experiences because if everyone transitioned at 13,well I don't think we'd be nearly as interesting people.

Anyway Kim is apparently a german pop star but I can't subject myself to european pop music unless I'm really really under some influence so I didn't include any here, but if you're so inclined- enjoy some here.

For everyone else here's some music that I guarantee is better
Gossip- Jealous Girls [mp3]
Tegan & Sara- So Jealous [mp3]

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