Monday, February 4, 2008

I Won The Super Bowl

All of the last week or so I was quite certain the Pats would win and especially after like Thursday when all the talk was about how they cheated I assumed that they would exercise some divine wrath and score the most points in a Super Bowl (I think the record would be 56?)
Either way I didn't watch the game yesterday a) because I didn't want to be a witness to the Patriots being historical and happy and b) if it were a close game and I turned it on I thought that just like every time I turned on a Pats game and found it unexpectedly close the Pats would somehow pull out a victory and since I didn't want either of those to happen I watched The Closer marathon (I really really like that show) and Puppy Bowl (colt was the cutest dog ever) and of course The Wire. It was only like at 7:30 when I dared to turn to the super Bowl channel and my glance of the Giants wearing their Super Bowl Champions shirt. My first reaction "oh my god, oh wow" My second reaction? laughing pretty evilily at Bill belichick.
But it was while laughing that I remembered something I had forgotten about for a week or so: it was me that actually inspired Eli to greatness and I can remember the exact moment, because it was in the middle of a post where I was mocking those "Unstoppable" watch ads. Ever since I wrote

"But seriously did the ad wizards in charge of this campaign never watch him him play before signing this deal? With that ad line? Because right now it's kinda like saying "Puppy lover. Mike Vick is." Everyone knows it is not true and is only suitable for mockery and Kim Kardashian* jokes. I'm surprised I have seen it on a hipster sports fan** t-shirt yet.

*cheap & easy
**if such a hybrid exists"

Eli has been, well if not totally unstoppable, at least a really really good quarterback, which kind of started during the Bears game I was watching at the time

(oh and p.s. at 4:15 pacific time Eli is actually leading his team on a comeback, which will make it more delicious when he screws up in a bit. but if he doesn't, and the giants win, of course it will have been I that inspired him to greatness. either way i win.)

Since I wrote that the Giants have only lost one game to the Redskins (and to the Pats too but that was apparently a "moral victory" and Eli, especially has been playing out of his mind..
I turned Eli into Peyton, obviously.

But as for the team not only did by not watching, which would have somehow made the Pats win, give them a chance but I also inspired them at the very beginning of the season when I picked them to finish last in the NFC East.
They were out to prove me wrong.
I made them win the Super Bowl against all odds.
I'm amazing.

And so obviously anything that I think will, or want to happen obviously doesn't I just need to rearrange my wishes and beliefs in reverse.

Which is why I really think Barack will win at least 20 states tomorrow.

Sphere: Related Content

No comments: