Scientology must be the most amazing thing ever! According to these “real testimonials”
The Leader is good, The Leader is great I surrender my will as of this date
Maybe Dianetics and Scientology can help you like it did these people in such amazing ways
- Dianetics help you understand what is it and resolves it
- And will get rid of that internal conversation in your head (so will Thorazine -those voices can be nasty)
- Dianetics will prevent you from getting really really really really nervous and freezing (as will alcohol)
- Your decision making process will be [snap snap snap] right there
- Dianetics will give you the power
- You won’t feel the body anymore, you’ll just float (as will psychotropics)
- You will reclassify into a different person (in what I can only assume to be a Total Recall process)
- When you’re about to die just by doing dianetics with an auditor all your vital signs will get back to normal
- Your Allergies will be over
- Your eyesight will increase tremendously
- Your sense of smell will come back, even after 12 years. Whoa
- Dianetics cures Cancer! Cancer!
- You’ll feel lighter, walk differently get a brighter face, clearer eyes
- You’ll realize that you’re not twenty years old
- Your eyes and heart will open
- Feel alert when you click your fingers, Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Bing.
Jesus H Christ that’s all very tempting but I think I'll stick with free will and my own money.
(from BWE )
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Leader! Leader! Leader...
Homer: Batman! ... I mean Leader!
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