It's Sunday and I've been in church all day (ugh) so I decided that Sundays would be as good a day as any to let you delve deeper into me (and that sounds incredibly dirty.) Therefore, in honor of JP II each Sunday I'll be giving you far TMI about me.This is the first in a however long series
6 months ago today...well I was still shaking off a rough morning/day after. BUT, 6 months ago yesterday was the day I embarked upon this magical mystery tour of mine by starting Hormone Therapy. I had my last final of the fall semester that Friday night (Italian 63 with Andrea) and I had promised myself I would get through finals before I started (I didn't think it would be wise to have something that big on my mind when I should be trying to learn everything I hadn't over the previous 14 weeks.) So that Saturday morning I took my first estrogen, antiandrogen and progesterone pills. There was no whoa! moment where I could feel whatever, but psychologically I did realize I had chased the white rabbit and was going down his hole.
So I celebrated that night by getting high (which strangely enough was the last time I've done it- I don't know how I've managed that but its sorta dissappointing. College is the time to do all of that, when everything is acceptable as "experimentation" before you graduate and it becomes a "problem.") I got high and then ended up hooking up with someone that I had been hooking up with off and on that semester. It was one of those that you don't expect to happen again, but then it does and its sort of akward and bad and you definitely regret it in the morning. But the next day with the miserableness of that boy next to me and my own dreams of burgeoning femininity on my mind I realized I was better than that and moved on (and probably had Cookout, which I miss dearly :(
That was 6 months ago today and as evidenced by my intense mood swings of the past two days and my crying fits today I would say they've had an effect. My regiment is something like the following
1.25 mg of Premarin (conjugated estrogen)
300 mg of Spironolactone (antiandrogen)
200 mg of Microgest (progesterone)
and 2 mg of Estrofem (estradiol)
There have definitely been changes; I've started cooking and small talking and dancing, which if you knew me, you would totally know that was so not me. Also I've become even more sensitive, and at times will cry at the sunset, or as the case has been when I get drunk. When I had planned to start hormones my original plan would be to measure any changes, physical or otherwise, and make it scientific-like, with my roommates the biologist and the psychologists observing me as a type of experiment. That didn't last (or start) when I decided to undertake my own experiment and drink every night of my last semester at Duke. My liver is still recovering.
But the most important changes have been that now I am effectively sterile, which is troubling at times (and I'm sure I'll bitch enough about that later) and that I have BOOBS!!! Well, they're not that big but they're still there and definitely noticeable to the point where I can't go topless. I tried measuring them and somehow I'm a 38A (?) I'm not sure if that's right but if it is, it's amazing! I feel so special; right now I'm pretty sure I'm the only "boy" to graduate from Duke with a double degree and boobs. I'm accepting names for them; any suggestions are welcome :)
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Sunday Confessional: 6 Months!!!! (and a Day)
Posted by Jacqui at 11:03 PM
Labels: akward, Confessional, girly, personal mythology, transsexy
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