Demetri Martin Has A Show

And he is really quite funny. The show premieres on February 11th and in order to get the word out he's created some flyers people can print out and...flyer.
But since I'm lazy and I don't like vandalizing I'll try and show my support by linking to his website and by posting the flyers here, which if you think about it is my own little wall on the internet.
DemetriMartin.com

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Has Anyone Seen This?

I had never heard of this film until it was mentioned in one of my facebook friends status, but know that I've seen this trailer I really really want to see it and think I would love it. It's called the "Itty Bitty Titty Committee" and it's from the director of "But, I'm a Cheerleader" which I adored (in my teenage sexual identity crises days...good times.)

Anyway here's the trailer and... I really love queer cinema

Sigh... sometimes I wish I were actually a lesbian, though that would probably confuse people even more.

Anywhoo
It was "released" theatrically in September, so someone out there in this big beautiful world has had to have seen it and would let me know if I should to because i really think i would like it, like a lot. [Update: I forgot how awesome the internet is- really, what did people do before it?]

And in solidarity I will try loving my Itty Bitty Titties

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God Made Dirt

and dirt don't hurt. And now it's been scientifically proven

From the New York Times

"...indeed, accumulating evidence strongly suggests that eating dirt is good for you.In studies of what is called the hygiene hypothesis, researchers are concluding that organisms like the millions of bacteria, viruses and especially worms that enter the body along with “dirt” spur the development of a healthy immune system.

“What a child is doing when he puts things in his mouth is allowing his immune response to explore his environment, Not only does this allow for ‘practice’ of immune responses, which will be necessary for protection, but it also plays a critical role in teaching the immature immune response what is best ignored.
...

He said that public health measures like cleaning up contaminated water and food have saved the lives of countless children, but they “also eliminated exposure to many organisms that are probably good for us.”

“Children raised in an ultraclean environment,” he added, “are not being exposed to organisms that help them develop appropriate immune regulatory circuits.

.....

In answer to the question, “Are we too clean?” Dr. Elliott said: “Dirtiness comes with a price. But cleanliness comes with a price, too. We’re not proposing a return to the germ-filled environment of the 1850s. But if we properly understand how organisms in the environment protect us, maybe we can give a vaccine or mimic their effects with some innocuous stimulus.”

Dr. Ruebush, the “Why Dirt Is Good” author, does not suggest a return to filth, either. But she correctly points out that bacteria are everywhere: on us, in us and all around us. Most of these micro-organisms cause no problem, and many, like the ones that normally live in the digestive tract and produce life-sustaining nutrients, are essential to good health.

“The typical human probably harbors some 90 trillion microbes,” she wrote. “The very fact that you have so many microbes of so many different kinds is what keeps you healthy most of the time.”
....
Dr. Weinstock goes even further. “Children should be allowed to go barefoot in the dirt, play in the dirt, and not have to wash their hands when they come in to eat,” he said. He and Dr. Elliott pointed out that children who grow up on farms and are frequently exposed to worms and other organisms from farm animals are much less likely to develop allergies and autoimmune diseases."

You see! Cletus isn't just a slack jawed yokel living in stereotypical hillbilly filth- he's just helping to strengthen his 44 kids' immune systems. Take that Park Avenue!

I knew a girl once who had pica and we would randomly find her with a shoe in her mouth...I wonder what happened to her.

Anywhooo, I try to never use antibacterial soap unless I've been doing something really dirty, because I heard a few years back that bacteria can be good for us and I kinda remembered from high school bio about how those little bacterias being exposed to our body enable our body to build resistances to them and thus make your body stronger in the long run, and I'm all about preparing my body for the coming post-apocalyptic wasteland (without actually having to do something too severe and time consuming)

So in conclusion, eat dirt once in a while. Scientist do, however, still recommend you not eat shit. Sorry Divine (r.i.p.)

Red Hot Chili Peppers- I Like Dirt [song download]
(picture source)

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Reach For The Stars...and Lasso The Moon

Say what you will about North Korea (China's smelly armpit) and about their leader Kim Jong Il (short, megalomaniacal, dead) you've got to give them credit; even with all their terrestrial problems they're still aiming high and reaching big, if this report from The ONN International is to be believed.

Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea

Remarkable...remember when Kennedy pledged that we would reach the moon in a decade, and then GWeeB announced that we would use the moon as a base from which we would more easily be able to invade Mars?(that happened right? the eight years have been a terrible blur of...) [Wow; it really did. what a frackin' fever dream that administration was] Well Kim just put them all to shame; talk about inspiration and hope and blah blah barack.

I suppose the only thing that should be surprising about this is that Kim Jong is such a romantic- after all it's well known he's a movie buff, but who knew he'd be inspired by one of the better scenes (evah) to craft a space policy for the glory of his country...tear


I guess Kim isn't a Bette Davis fan, after all he had the stars and still asked for the moon... (my affection for totalitarianism is beginning to frighten even me)

p.s. barack is totally a lizard and a sham- if the russians say it, it must be true!

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What the Hell, Britannia?

This is the "Ultimate British Male Face" and all I will see is ew, ew, ew


I lied- I have more to say. First, I didn't know the British were into the debonair zombie crackhead look. Secondly this composites always turn out horrifying; it like the sum is never the equal of the parts and a lot of times it seems like a pretty cheap and easy way to fill an article or blog quota (hello!) But in this case, according to the daily mail, the parts were the results of a survey asking which british star had the best eyes, lips, etc blah blah.
And what makes this even stranger/ disappointing is that that "thing" is the result of

• the nose of Orlando Bloom
• the mouth of Jonny Wilkinson
• Lewis Hamilton's coco complexion
• Ewan McGregor's jaw
• Daniel Craig's eyes and
• the hair of Hugh Grant

not a bad looking bunch at all. Though i was thinking about it and Beckham is still gorgeous and totally missing and of course the smoldering wonderfulness of Clive Owen


yeah.....wait, what was I going on about?

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Slumdog Ketchupaire

So I read this story weeks ago and I wanted to comment on it but I didn't really have "an angle"...
Anyway here's the story (from the Daily Mail)

Speed is the word for Guinness Rishi as he powers his way through a giant 490 gram bottle of ketchup in just 39 seconds.

Guinness believes he holds the fastest time for drinking the world's favourite condiment, which he sups through a straw.

Guinness puts his motivation down to the need to stand out in a country of over 1 billion people.

'People consider me an extraordinary person, not an ordinary person,' he said.

His records include 'taking on the world's oldest adoptee', after he legally took custody of his 61-year-old brother-in-law.

Guiness also built the tallest sugar cube tower in the world, which stands at 64 inches.

He took his new name in 1991, after keeping a motor scooter in continuous motion for 1,001 hours for another bizarre record.

'Persons who have no money wish to do something in their lives, so the poor people try to break records by their strength or their will,' said Guinness, who is joint owner of an auto-parts factory.

The ketchup-crazed pensioner said he will continue to find new records to break until he achieves his dream of official recognition.

'I hope to make my family proud,' he said.

I had planned on talking about how kind of sad it is that in a country that size the only way he feels he can stand out is to....well, do something like this and maybe about how the individualism and quest for exceptionalism that once defined the American spirit has taken root (or infected, depending on your point of view) the world and how at least this way is a lot better than what seems to always tragically happen when someone takes a gun and kills for recognition or infamy, like Arthur Bremer, Keith Jesperson or others (who don't deserve the extra google hits.)
First all I ended up thinking of was "ewww; that's really kind of gross." Secondly I was confused that you could legally adopt a 61 year old.
But then my thoughts went back to Slumdog Millionaire, which I saw last week while visiting a friend (who somehow already has it bootleg, which worked out well because it was snowing in New York) and how, admittedly in the immediate afterglow, I had perhaps hyperbolically declared that I wouldn't call it the best movie I've ever seen but that I'm not sure I've seen one better and about how this reminded me of it. I guess in the way that it was a story of "Persons who have no money wish to do something in their lives" and how they've both ended up getting their dreams; after all Rishi was featured in an international publication, which isn't too shabby for a guy who pretty much just drinks ketchup fast.

It's a pretty universal story, though if he were black he'd totally have to be drinking hot sauce...I' wonder how hot sauce would taste on ice cream...i'm a teensy bit obsessed.

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Hail To The Chief

(I'm just kidding...kind of)

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True Love Lives

awwww and I'd bet it lives on lollipops and crisps, too.


(the two loves are centered and on the right; the little sister was to be a witness)

It's a short but undeniably sweet story so I'll just yoink a lot of it (from The Daily Mail)

Police in Hanover, northern Germany, identified the pair only as Mika and Anna-Lena, who have different parents but now share a home in the city's suburbs after his father and her mother moved in together.

The story began on New Year's Eve when the family were watching a documentary about Africa and its wildlife.

'From this, the children began to make plans for the future,' said police spokesman Holger Jureczko.

The two youngsters were 'very much in love and decided to get married in Africa where it is warm, taking with them as a witness Anna-Lena's little sister Anna-Bell'.

As the first dawn of 2009 broke, the trio packed three suitcases with all the essentials for the journey, including sunglasses, swimming trunks, a lilo [air mattress], summer clothes and sandwiches made from chicken paste and processed cheese.

While their parents slept, they crept out of the house wrapped up against the freezing weather and walked two-thirds of a mile up the road to a tram stop from where they caught the service to the central station.

Waiting for a train to the airport 30 miles away, they attracted the attention of the guard, who contacted police.

Two officers managed to convince the young lovers that they would struggle to get to Africa without money or a plane ticket. 'They were very put out that they couldn't carry on their journey,' added Mr Jureczko.

'But they calmed down when they were promised a hot drink and some breakfast.'

As a further consolation, the children were given a tour of police headquarters where they were 'especially taken with the detention cells'.

Their relieved parents picked them up from the station, said Mr Jureczko, adding: 'They can still put their plan into action at a later date.'

awwww...my ovaries are aching

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Lightning Jacq Strikes Again

and I pride myself on being so observant, tsk tsk (like a few months ago when The Mentalist was promoting its premiere I immediately had the sensation that I'd seen that story ago, as if "The Mentalist" was just a serious "Psych." Of course since I was in my weird blogging phase I dind't write down that thought as soon as it came to me so there's no proof of my automatic genius..darn)
But anyway ESPN is showing the Duke vs Florida State game and like any good alumna I'm watching because I heart Duke (and Florida State always seems to play us hard which is incredibly annoying; almost as annoying as the fans who are sitting behind the broadcast team and doing things obnoxious college fans should be doing, though I real wish they would just stfu and sit the f*ck down) when they showed one of those famous, and apparently mesmerizing UPS White Board commercials.
you know the ones:


And upon my approximately 15,ooo viewing of one of those commercials it dawned on me: how ironic that UPS a main rival and kind of an improvement of the postal service would have as the theme to its main marketing campaign, and has become rather connected to them, a song by The Postal Service. Wow I am so fracking smart. And yeah I really do think.

At least I think it's ironic- it might just be coincidence- I never can tell.

(maybe this is the difference; coincidence is when a clown dies on his birthday- irony is when the clown dies at your birthday party? because by dying, the clown, which is supposed to make you happy, instead makes you sad, right? i think that goes along with a definition of irony I read someplace where irony is where the intended meaning is the opposite of the real or literal meaning...or I may have just made that up, but it seems to make sense)

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