On Slate V they had a feature entitled The Worst Christmas Movies Ever inspired by Fred Claus a movie that I've heard absolutely nothing good about for months (and that review about it "having less plot than a Geico commercial" was a really nice burn) and since 'tis the season I was intrigued and some of them are beyond awful
The Gingerdead Man? How does a cookie hold a gun? How is a cookie menacing in any way (unless you have a nut allergy)? Are we sure the writers weren't on strike when that was filmed? I must say, I do like the title though.
Here is another list, also inspired by the coming of Fred Claus and it's a little funny that two totally different movies, one about a dad who is reincarnated as a snow man to be with his son, (I think), and the other about a murderous snowman were both released around the same time.
A movie both lists had in common was Jingle All The Way. Yup he's my governor. And I'm not gonna lie during both lists I was so nervous that some movie I liked would show up (I have a thing about being wrong) but I can honestly say I never saw or enjoyed any of these.
Friday, December 14, 2007
The Worst Christmas Movies Ever
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Time's Top Editorial Cartoons
It's the end of the year and so of course there are all sorts of year end top ten best of list. And this is one.
From Time Magazine comes their Top Ten Editorial Cartoons and....maybe I'm not that sophisticated but in general editorial cartoons are boring, though of course they're thoughtful and thought provoking and blah. But since pictures are fun, and this are actually kinda amusing (and in color!-I don't see editorial cartoons in color normally) here they are from #1-#10
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
American Sport Stars Are Boring
I mean sure they're controversial, what with their cheating, adultery, dog killing, fighting, arrests, and murder,but there's nothing fun*. Where's the "deviant sexual behaviour"? there are only rapes (which are not funny), purely hetero (which is boring) and either not filmed (which is a shame for everyone), or photoshopped.) In fact the only thing that almost redeemed us was the story of pitcher John Maine allegedly offering a woman hundreds of dollars in order that he could wear her dress (an act that could have been a clever way to get her naked but was unfortunately not true)
It is yet another case where the Euros are so much more evolved and thus better than us. Recently young English footballer Ashley Young, a member of the national team, was caught stripped naked and pleasuring himself on the internet
It was 1.30am Moscow time October 17 when Young logged on in his room at the team's hotel and hooked up with beauty therapist Sarah Taylor on the Webcamo dating site.
Within minutes he was bombarding her with instant text messages describing the sordid things he longed to do to her.
As he groped himself 22-year-old Aston Villa star Young said: "I'd love to lick ur ****** making them nice and ****...yeh babe, teasing ur ****."
Ignoring all the rules on handling, he went to huge lengths to show himself off and feverishly bashed out saucy demands like: "I wanna have my **** between ur **** and u ****ing the top of my ****."
Pretty Sarah, 21, told us: "I was shocked. I'd gone on for some flirty chat but what I got was a randy sex addict."
Sarah was at home in Bristol —where it was 10.30pm—when she first encountered Young.
"This guy messaged me and said he was in Moscow on business," she said.
Young—who lives with a long-term girlfriend in his home town of Stevenage, Herts—called himself Lewis, the name of his childhood chum, racing driver Lewis Hamilton.
Sarah said: "At first he seemed so charming and nice." But Young then stripped naked and paraded his manhood on camera. She added: "I couldn't believe someone was being so forward. He's got an impressive package but I was amazed he could just show it off like that.
Well, at least he's got an impressive package. If he was lacking then... that would really have been embarrassing.
Even more "fun" was the tale of Stefan Postma, a goalie for some team who last year was involved in a bit of ...cinematic "art" when his jilted ex girlfriend released a sex tape . Involving a strap on, and Stefan playing the role of the 2006 US Soccer team, aka the bitch/bottom
btw, hella NSFW
| - Watch More Videos |
I can't imagine something like that happening in America; I'm sure the chants would be gruesome and uninspired, though I'm sure he heard a tonne of all sorts of those insults while standing in goal in Europe, especially when he let up a goal.
But where are our American athelete sex tapes and scandals? I mean I'm sure they've screwed around enough to piss of some chick, I'm sure some camera or camera phone happened to be running during "those magic moments" and I don't believe most athletes are smart enough to not let that happen. (wow grammar)
So come on somebody, take one for the team. You're used to performing under the lights; make it happen. For America.
I think it would be fun...or at least amusing for a few seconds.
*no I didn't do my research for this post or include the links to each individual athlete I was referring to but it is late, i'm tired and sick. Sphere: Related Content
Monday, December 3, 2007
Making Math Fun(is the)Ky
Yeah, I'm not in love with that title either.
Anyway I think the BWE website had a link to this site and this amazing t-shirt 
(that I absolutelty want but don't think I'm ironic or cool enough to pull off) but it reminded me of a link I shared on facebook a month or so ago, the "rap represented in mathematical charts and graphs" site. And though some were repetitive or uninspired and I wasn't familiar with 100% of the references I still really enjoyed quite a few
and so in a form of tribute/ a type of game and because my brain doesn't want to think of anything more creative I'm going to list a few songs and you can see if you can match the song to the mathematical representation
(or just download the following songs; whichever will be funner)
Kelis-Milk Shake [download]
NaS- One Mic [download]
The Notorious B.I.G. (featuring Mase)- Mo' Money, Mo' Problem [download]
Ice Cube- It Was a Good Day [download]
Jay-Z: 99 Problems [download]
Jay-Z: I Just Wanna Love You (Give It To Me)[download]
Ludacris-Act a Fool [download]
2Pac-All Eyez on Me [download]
Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg-Outro [download]
Ben Folds- Bitches Ain't Shit [download]
2Pac- Hit 'Em Up [download]
Wu-Tang Clan- Ain't Nothin' Ta Fuck Wit' [download]
everybody's a winner.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Linkapalooza-Because I Can Think of Nothing Else
Ok I have another headache (due to most likely having slept horribly,again, last night) and nothing in the news really speaks to me. So since I'm playing Scrabulous on Facebook right now and in an attempt to tidy up, and more widely disseminated what I feel is interesting I'm going to do a linkapalooza of some of my "posted items" that y'all may find interesting as well:
- From U Gambira which "is the pseudonym of a leader of the All-Burma Monks Alliance, which spearheaded nationwide protests in September. Wanted by Burma's military junta, he is living in hiding as he continues the monks' campaign." An article entitled "What Burma's Junta Must Fear (Washington Post)
- From Time Magazine, an article asking "Has John Edwards' Moment Arrived?" to which I responded "yes!*"
- An article from the Washington Post that most of my do gooder friends (as well as I did ) found depressing: "Fulfillment Elusive for Young Altruists in the Crowded Field of Public Interest" ::sigh::
- An article about Aubrey de Grey, dubbed "The Invincible Man" by the Washington Post, who believes that humans can live for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years ( as if the planet wasn't crowded enough,right?) It is an insanely cool article even if his beard frightens me. A lot.
- "Biologists at the University of Utah have engineered "transgendered" worms" after that you know I was intrigued. From an article in the SLC Tribune.
- And finally, Feminists do it better.
ok i'm going to try to jump start my brain. has ECT came back into fashion again?
*hopefully, dear god. Sphere: Related Content
Not Even Close To The Worst Shirts I've Ever Seen
You know those shirts that have an double entendre or offensive statement on them? Well Radar has a feature where a (hopefully an intrepid cub) reporter goes around to various social settings in New York wearing shirts with such "vulgarities" as "I Shaved My Balls For This?" "He Loves The Cock [with arrow pointed to the right]*" "I'll Fuck The Fat Friend" 'I'm going to stick my fist up your ass**" or my absolute favorite (and one that actually made me gasp for a sec): "My Other Dick is Black."
And the best (or worst part if you hope for drama or conflict) is that no one seemed to care, most people brushing it aside with a "whatever." I'm sure there's something to be said here about the "deteriorating of moral standards and decency in society" or the "coarsening of culture" but I'm not that type.
Now I've never actually seen people wear those kind of crude shirts, and I wonder who would besides as a joke, but those shirts and that feature reminded me of two similar shirts that I saw in New Orleans like 4 years apart.
The first one was during AmeriCorps when we were stationed outside of the city to help the Red cross with Tropical Strom Isidore and Hurricane Lili. One night as we're on Bourbon street enjoying ourselves after like 6 straight 13 hour days and one of my friends bought a shirt that read "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK" and actually wore it! It blew me away-I wonder if she still has it.
And the other was about 6 months after Hurricane Katrina when I went down with a class to do relief work and make a documentary and there were so many shirts in stores that read (though I don't recall seeing anyone wearing one) Katrina Gave Me The Blow Job of My Life. I kind of wish I had bought one just for sentimentality's sake..
(yeah I'm not quite happy with this post, but I'm tired, my chest hurts, nothing is really grabbing me right now and I don't want to think. But as a heads up I think, in order to reclaim some server space, that I'm going to delete all mp3 files from before, let's say the start of October. and if there's something that you really want that's unavailable you can always send me an email and I'll try to help you out (and I won't even require flattery)
* I think i need to get that for one of my friends- there's a running (almost 4 year old) joke about that so I'm sure he'd enjoy it.
**who says that?!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
I'm not Sure if I Agree
this is pretty old news but I've meant to write on it
from CNN the headline Ryan Adams has Meltdown at concert:
Ryan Adams pitched another fit for a Minneapolis audience, a few years after his last local meltdown. Throughout a show Thursday night, the 32-year-old singer-guitarist complained about the sound monitors onstage at the State Theatre. At one point, he moved two monitors, his microphone and his guitar pedals.
After 70 minutes he'd had enough. Adams announced "the last song," played it and didn't return for an encore. Many fans stood and booed.
It must have been a slow news day. He moved his microphone and guitar pedals. My word; think of the children. Isn't that the roadies job to make sure everything is where the star wants it?
I don't know if I would call a 70 minute show a "meltdown" I've been to a few concerts that barely touched 45 minutes. And I've never understood the modern point of an encore. I assume when the tradition started that it was a genuine and touching moment between musician and fans where the musician would acknowledge the love by coming back out. But now, now that every show has an encore where it is expected and booed if it doesn't happen, seems so phony to me. The whole thing should be called "a bathroom break where, the artists ego and feelings are stroked by the applause and the audience feels like they are connecting with the band enough to bring them back on stage to sing a hit or two that they've saved for this 'unexpected' encore." I've started to only clap for an encore if that is what is most important to me at that moment. And if the above mentioned show was so horrible and meltdownish why would the crowd want him to come back out? It's not like he walked out in the middle of the song- he did announce it would be his last song and it was. He should be admired for his integrity.
But if you did go to the show and are still upset about Archive.org has an amazing live music search feature where you can find a ton of Ryan Adams' concerts- it's pretty amazing. And if you still fell bad Minnesota, just realize he still likes you all more than Tennessee.
Ryan Adams- Tennessee Sucks [mp3] Sphere: Related Content
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Feels Like One Of Those Days
where nothing really is going one. I'm not saying today is going to keep being so slow but as Best Week Ever points out this is the lead story on CNN.com
(l.a.'s is the worst in case you were wondering)
At least it's not as bad (yet) as last Thursday when, as Defamer noted, TMZ had this urgent and important news
It's such a slow day that I found these ratings for Gweeb's speech from last week and found them interesting and that you would actually care. On every cable news channel besided MSNBC the Democratic Response had higher ratings than the actual address. Even on Fox News! That's remarkable and seems so telling that even conservatives weren't interested in hearing Gweeb say the same ol', same ol'.
I kind of hope today keeps being so slow because it's kind of cold and my internet has been very not reliable. Though if that turns out to be the case I probably shouldn't have "wasted" all these nuggets in one post.
Anyway it seems that America is filled with morons, as TMZ found out on September 11th.
