Duke-Carolina: It’s Kind Of Like This

It’s Carolina Day the first of the two most important scheduled days of a Dukie’s year, it's almost a sacred day consecrated with the hate of generations so you have to excuse me for being a little (obsessed) focused.

We’re the good guys (obviously)


Tombstone




Once Upon a Time in the West


Kill Bill 1: The Bride vs O'Ren Ishii


Dumbledore vs. Voldemort


(A personal battle between G-Love and Wayne Hellington)


Ripley vs the Alien Queen


The Bride v. Elle Driver


For a Few Dollars More


Yeah it’s just like that
(p.s. does anyone know of any other good showdowns/duels?)

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The Joys of Sex: Bug Porn and Crush Fetishes

Kinsey would be proud.

When I saw this headline “Isabella Rossellini’s bug porn” I had no idea what the heck was going on but I have to admit when I clicked on the link and read the post I was a little relieved that she “only” has made a series of short films in which she dresses up like insects (always the males, for some reason) and acts out bug sex

more here:

Green Porno is a series of very short films conceived, written, co-directed by and featuring Isabella Rossellini about the sex life of bugs, insects and various creatures. The films are a comical but insightful study of the curious ways certain bugs “make love”. “Green” echoes the ecological movement of today and our interest in nature, and “Porno” alludes to the racy ways bugs, insects and other creatures have sex, if human, these acts would not be allowed to be screened or air on television, considered instead as most filthy and obscene.


Each film is executed in a very simple childlike manner. They are a playful mixture of real world and cartoon. Each episode begins with Isabella speaking to the camera “ If I were a…(firefly, spider, dragonfly etc.). She then transforms into the male of the species explaining in a simple yet direct dialogue the actual act of species-specific fornication. The costumes, colorful sets and backdrops as well as the female insects contribute to the playfulness of the films. The contrast of this “naïf” expression and filthy sex practices adds to the comicality of Green Porno.



Green Porno is an experiment specifically conceived with the third screen, namely cellular screens, computers and ipods.

Even though that is pretty bizarre I was relieved because the first thing I thought of when I heard “bug porn” was this fetish where women, and I guess guys too, crush bugs and stuff with their feet. And that’s like the whole fetish. The Crush Fetish.


In the interest of sharing, and because the internets are full of these things, and "the more you know" here are some examples. Apparently guys and girls crush anything they can with their feet and it turns people on. Well, I guess that it's an easy way to get into porn…

I don’t find this sexual at all, though Tarantino might, but I guess maybe it’s Not Safe for Work?

Courtney crushes cucumbers with her bare feet




Nadia crushing a violin (this is rather wrong)


(this is her 62nd! one of these)


at least this one is kind of artistic: bare feet crushing an origami creature

there’s a ton of these and…I don’t know. I don't get it but I (try not to) don’t judge. I’ve had guys just like on the street come up to me and compliment me on my feet and it’s always so weird. Whatever blows your hair back
A comment from one of those videos: Wow... awesome... I will love put my throat under your superpowerfull master toes...


pick your perversion, I guess

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I Really Love My Generation Sometimes

or the productive pop culture obsessed slackers at least. The one who would think up and then actually make something like this, a mash up of The Bride's fight against Gogo in Kill Bill 1 witht he sounds from Super Mario 2- Kill Bill: NES Edition

is it sad that I recognize where everyone of those sounds come from? Super Mario 2 was like my favorite one, I really enjoyed being able to play with different characters and use their different abilities. I however, was nowhere near as good as whoever filmed themselves playing through the whole game in 12 minutes


You can see how well you do online (Virtual NES is pretty sweet)- I know I'll probably waste too much time playing as I can't sleep tonight.

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Sequels I'd Pay to See

In this summer of remakes and sequels, I decided to give my two cents about movies that should be made, that could be sweet and would only marginally destroy the reputation of the original. I'm not good with titles or names ( I've had a turtle for 15 years and her name is still Turtle) so you can supply your own.
(This is the first in an occasional series)

So we've all seen and loved Pulp Fiction and the ending, (though a movie with overlapping times and out of order stories you can't really be sure) but the ending where Vincent Vega and Jules Winfield are in the diner getting robbed by Tim Roth. But it is the point where Jules is thinking about his life and thinking about changing it after his miracle: From IMDb:

Jules: Your life. I'm givin' you that money so I don't hafta kill your ass. You read the Bible?
Pumpkin: Not regularly.
Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

(here's a video of the scene, if reading it yourself didn't have the same dramatic force)
I love that line "But I'm tryin' Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." I wanna see him try, and perhaps fail. I really want to see the end of Jules story. I mean we know what happens to Vega (I won't give out any spoilers for the one person who hasn't seen it), Butch and his wife can be presumed to live happily ever after. All the rest of the characters haven't gone through such an extreme change, so we can assume they're going to keep on keepin' on. But Jules is radically changing his life. The film could be seen as a philosophical treatise on repentance or existentalism, and all the temptations and problems he will encounter, and all the people who will touch him, and he them in return, or something like that) I'm sure Samuel L. would do it (he'll star in anything for money it seems) and I think it would be at least as interesting as Tarantino's proposed Kill Bill 3 and probably better than this proposed prequel, (though there would be a lot more violence in that one.) Plus Travolta sucks. So come on Hollywood; ruin another perfect movie perhaps, or maybe make something lasting.
I'm just saying.

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