Ad Dishin': Super!

And here are my favorite Super Bowl commercials (and no i don't care if this is "so old;" i like to have things in their right and proper places)

I adore Alec Baldwin and I think Hulu's ad "Alec in Huluwood" might've been my favorite...mostly because of Alec (i'd probably even watch The Shadow again just for him, though young thin Alec somehow less appealing)
From Careerbuilder.com "Tips" (I feel like the woman in the car at least twice a week)


I just thought this Monster.com ad "Need a New Job?" was so simple and so well done (the name of the commercial, however, might be a little too simple and generic? isn't the whole point of your company people "need[ing] a new job?"


I liked the Teleflora (I company I had never even heard of so, good job actually using tha 3 million dollars for good) "Talking Flowers" because it reminded me of Harry Potter and his Howler mail, plus that line "no one wants to see you naked" was just mondo killer. and yes I'm trying to bring back the word "mondo"


Cars.com's"David Abernathy" i really liked a lot, except for the end when I guess the commercial actually had to advertise something; i was just kind of hoping it would go on telling about his life. I'd watch that movie...or at least the extended trailer


and finally Coke's "Heist" i just thought was really pretty and cute and almost imaginative (the deal was sealed when the butterflies, fluttered by.) Plus it reminds me that spring is actually coming...I hate winter, or at least winter in large doses

ahhh, awww, ahh; that made me happy.

Ones I didn't like? Those e-trade babies are really over now, and anything where guys were getting hit with bowling balls and other random stuff (like buses) though I have to admit I laughed at this Doritos commercial, but can you blame me? I mean football in the groin had football in the groin.
But one commerical i absolutely detested to my core and made me vomit a little in my mouth was the Pepsi commercial that seemed to connect, and imply that Will.i.Am. [not] is this generation's Bob Dylan. And I know I hate Will.i.am. but he manages to ruin everything he touches, in my eyes and it sudddenly becomes anathema to me but also intellectually the ad is disingenuoius though you don't have to listen to me (though you should, in all things) the New York Times said so too (but more, y'know, factually)

A commercial by TBWA/Chiat/Day, featuring Mr. Dylan and Will.i.am, rewrites history by presenting Pepsi-Cola as the choice of peaceniks, hippies and other youthful rebels. In reality, the Pepsi-Cola parent, PepsiCo, was led at the time by Donald Kendall, a friend of Richard M. Nixon’s, and the soft drink was considered the Republican soda.

In conclusion, drink more Coke (or actually, just drink more water; all that high fructose corn syrup and other junk isn't good for you.)

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Praising Quitters

(alternately titled I still hate Shaq)
Something that’s been getting to me and since the Lakers play the Suns tonight…
Ever since Shaq has been traded it seems like every commentator is talking about how good he looks and how focused and intense he is because, in the words of Doug Collins, “he’s been playing for championships for the last 10 or 11 years and to play on a team that’s lost 24 of 25 games is just discouraging” as if to give him an excuse for not having his traditional numbers or trying to be in shape or even not exaggerate his injuries which lead him to, as another commentator put it, “take months off.”
Isn’t he getting a major pass on all this? Shouldn’t he be criticized even a little for his last season or so in Miami, especially if in Phoenix he looks rejuvenated? Isn’t it the job of a professional to play hard each and every night even if your team happens to be losing? To do otherwise, wouldn’t that be considered quitting on your team? I wouldn’t think that professional sports is a place to work hard only win you’re winning. But maybe it’s just me and the fact that he gets the benefit of the doubt because he’s so friendly to the media. Either way though a job of a professional, especially one being paid 20 million dollars a year in the dying embers of his career is to at least try no matter the circumstance.

Oh and there’s always the drama that Shaq brings wherever he goes

(video via)

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This Was So Long Overdue

The 8th Plague is still upon some of us.

Some pictures I’ve seen have the paparazzi swarming a car so thickly they look like a plague of locusts (I wish I could find it now)[UPDATE: this is representative enough] and I can’t imagine them following you everywhere and snapping away at you whenever you leave the house, so I’m glad to see someone finally taking up this problem

Spears' 12-police escort prompts call for paparazzi limits
L.A. Councilman Dennis Zine plans to push for a measure to create a 'personal safety zone' to protect public safety.

After aggressive paparazzi forced police to escort Britney Spears to the hospital this week, Los Angeles City Councilman Dennis Zine announced this morning that he plans to push for an ordinance that would create a minimum "personal safety zone" around individuals targeted by the media.

Zine said the estimated $25,000 it costs for police to escort Spears to the hospital was necessary to protect the public from dangers posed by the horde of celebrity photographers pursuing the pop star. He said the paparazzi was increasingly endangering celebrities and bystanders with their aggressive behavior and car pursuits.

"I don't want a repeat of what happened to Princess Diana with a celebrity in Los Angeles," he said. "We had to have 12 officers escort [Spears] to the hospital that if not for paparazzi would have been to prevent crime somewhere else."

Zine said he plans to introduce a motion that calls for the city attorney and LAPD to draft new restrictions on paparazzi, including an ordinance that would create a zone of clear space in order to protect public safety on streets, sidewalks, access points to emergency care facilities and to private businesses and homes.

"It is a major issue we have to address. We are in a celebrity town," he said. "Celebrities have a right to live in peace and freedom."

Representatives for Spears told Los Angeles Police Department officials on Monday that they believed she needed a psychiatric evaluation because of continuing erratic behavior.

After extensive discussions about alternatives, the LAPD mapped a strategy for getting her to UCLA Medical Center amid an anticipated swarm of paparazzi.

Authorities, who had responded to more than 20 calls in the last month involving Spears or the paparazzi trailing her, came up with an elaborate plan. It included many contingencies for such possibilities as paparazzi rushing into her gated home off Coldwater Canyon or mobbing her ambulance and forcing it to stop so they could shoot photos.

Early Thursday morning, the plan was executed with about two dozen police officers, a helicopter and a special team that took Spears out through a gate in an ambulance with covered windows to prevent photographers from looking inside.

Police blocked roads so she couldn't be followed. The effort, which the LAPD estimates cost $25,000, was carried out with the help of the department's Crisis Response Support Section, a unit that deals specifically with the mentally ill.

The LAPD responds to about 100 calls a day to deal with mental health incidents, said Lt. Rick Wall, who heads the unit. Of those, about 20 to 25 a day lead to involuntary commitments, Wall said.

"Most go exactly as the one last night, without the 200 paparazzi," he said. "We get calls from family members daily who are worried about their loved ones being a danger to themselves or others."

Police officials defended the cost of the operation, saying that aggressive paparazzi required numerous police officers to avoid a traffic accident that could have caused harm to the public or Spears.

LAPD Deputy Chief Michel Moore said it was "a shame" that scarce police resources had to be diverted from "public safety needs such as violent crime, drunken driving or responding to the ongoing stream of 911 calls."

But he said the department "had no choice but to ensure that we appropriately dealt with this incident."

It’s disgusting. Paparazzi are disgusting. This culture that stalks people and makes them "prisoners of their own fame?" disgusting as well
I blame Fellini

aww, that seems almost quaint

oh, my head hurts
Oh dear oh dear.

It's all over the papers
On the TV, wagging tongues

Imogen Heap- Glittering Cloud (The Plague of Locusts) [download]

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Spear the Turtle

The ACC Season really starts today for Duke at Wasteland
From Duke Basketball Report

Board material from Maryland’s Cliff Tucker!

“I can’t stand Duke. It’s one of the reasons I wanted to come here so I can beat Duke, I already got North Carolina. Duke is next. I cannot stand Duke. I tell people all the time, if they gave me a scholarship and that was my only Division I scholarship, I’d go Division II or something like that. I would never, ever go there. I don’t know what it is, I can’t stand Duke"

And who is Mr. Tucker that he feels that he can make such comments?
A lifelong Maryland fan, freshmen from El Paso. A two time captain of his football team (as a receiver) recruited by Clemson, Georgetown, Texas Tech, UTEP, and Uconn son of Regina and Clifton Tucker ... enjoys video games and watching movies in his free time

Who averages 4.5 points a game 2.4 rebounds and shoots 44% from the free throw line. (and yet thinks he has the right to talk trash. And about how he “already got North Carolina", he had 8 points and 2 rebounds in that game. I’m sure his high school coach Tom Shukit back at Chaplin must be proud)
Hopefully he’s improved his strength and long range shooting and ball handling , he'll need to for tonight against God.

Seriously kid you should’ve stuck to football (so y’know you could've lost to Oregon State)

Spear the turtle


gotta love redneck white guys

God I hate Maryland (though they’re not our rivals.) Win or Lose something will be burning tonight in College Park
{UPDATE: Cliff Tucker had 3 rebounds 4 points and 3 assists. Next time spend less time hating, and more time not sucking.}

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Barack Obama Doesn't Care About People

at least Georgie cared about rich white people.

In another revealing nugget Barack shows he cares only about himself and his pretty pretty words; from Politico in an article titled "Obama struggles to feel voters' pain"

– Barack Obama lost his common-man touch Wednesday at The Common Man restaurant.

His campaign assembled six voters with hard luck stories for a roundtable at the aptly-named New Hampshire chain.

There was the 25-year-old single mother with no health insurance and mounting school loans. She got choked up when another woman, cradling a 10-week-old, talked about her family’s strained finances and her wish just to stay home and raise her children.

Then there was Sandra Burt, who lost her job on her 65th birthday. She cannot afford her $2,900 monthly prescription drug costs (she tried skipping doses, but ended up in the hospital). Her husband cashed in his life insurance and sold his treasured truck. They live in a 30-year-old double-wide trailer where the thermostat is set at 64 degrees.

Obama listened intently at the center of a U-shaped table, but amid the heart-wrenching stories that moved even members of the media, he betrayed little emotion.

“We put on extra blankets. We put on an extra pair of socks, whatever it takes,” said Burt, weeping at the end of the table. “What would you do?”

Before Obama could respond, Burt apologized – “I’m sorry,” she said – for breaking down in front of klieg lights, more than a dozen cameras and many more reporters.

“No, listen, it is outrageous,” said Obama, his voice monotone. “We are going to change this.”

For all the charisma that Obama can show day-to-day, bringing crowds to their feet with optimistic rhetoric or lingering on the rope line to hear voters’ stories, he can also appear equally detached.

The dual personality of Barack Obama – the aloof, professorial side – emerged Wednesday at a time when he might have benefited from more of the I-feel-your-pain approach he exhibits regularly on the campaign trail.

His response to Burt was a snapshot of his stump speech.

“There is a direct correlation between the special interests agendas in Washington and your situation,” Obama said, looking down at the table as often as he did at her. “Nobody expects government to do everything for them. What people do expect is if you are working hard and doing the right thing, then you should be able to retire with dignity and respect and have some basic health care.”

“Can you fix it?” Burt asked.

“I know I can fix it if I got the American people understanding that it needs to be fixed,” he said.

When somebody handed napkins to Obama for Burt, he dropped the pile in her hands from across the table, passing up what could have been an opportunity to make contact. (Another way to look at it is he resisted pandering.)

He later mentioned the success of his book allowed him to buy a big house. He was highlighting the unfairness of a tax system that gave him a mortgage deduction not available to those who own less expensive properties, but the story seemed somehow misplaced.

Barack, show you care- it's one of the biggest messages in The Queen
Part of the job of president is to be consoler in chief to make us sure and to feel safe in moments of great national doubt, even GweeB did this after September 11th serving as a reassuring figure and in those kind of moments we don’t need someone to explain in professorial detached tones the causes of the tragedy and how we can solve the problem we need someone to feel, someone to say "there there it’ll be all right". To be a reflection of our grief but also of our resolve.That’s why people love and were drawn to Bill Clinton, because he cared about people and not just the problems in an abstract analytical manner.

Oh and it’s not pandering if you really care; it’s called being human and wanting to do what you can to comfort someone in pain.

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She has a very real and valid point

I'm not the biggest Hillary supporter but she is my second choice and the enemy of my enemy and all but this is something I’ve noticed and been pissed about for a long time- I’m just glad someone is picking it up (though of course in the article she’s been portrayed as kinda whiny)

Senator's Camp Insists That the Press Holds Her To a Tougher Standard

Clinton's senior advisers have grown convinced that the media deck is stacked against them, that their candidate is drawing far harsher scrutiny than BarackObama. And at least some journalists agree.

"She's just held to a different standard in every respect," says Mark Halperin, Time's editor at large. "The press rooted for Obama to go negative, and when he did he was applauded. When she does it, it's treated as this huge violation of propriety." While Clinton's mistakes deserve full coverage, Halperin says, "the press's flaws -- wild swings, accentuating the negative -- are magnified 50 times when it comes to her. It's not a level playing field."

Newsweek's Howard Fineman says Obama's coverage is the buzz of the presidential campaign. "While they don't say so publicly because it's risky to complain, a lot of operatives from other campaigns say he's getting a free ride, that people aren't tough enough on Obama," Fineman says. "There may be something to that. He's the new guy, an interesting guy, a pathbreaker and trendsetter perhaps."

Obama spokesman Bill Burton says the accusation of softer treatment is untrue but "the Clinton campaign whines about it so much, it becomes part of the chatter. No candidate in this race has undergone more investigations and examinations than Barack Obama has," he says, citing lengthy pieces in the Chicago Tribune and New York Times. "As Obama says, running against the Clintons is not exactly a cakewalk. Their research operation has ensured that if there's any information about Obama to be had, it's been distributed to the media."

The question, of course, is what journalists do with that information.

But now many media accounts are casting her recent dip in the Iowa and New Hampshire polls as a disaster in the making.

"Slipping Away?" said a headline on ABC's "Good Morning America." "Hillary Clinton's campaign is teetering on the brink," Fineman wrote in Newsweek. CBS's Jim Axelrod said her operation is "reeling." The Los Angeles Times said she is facing her "most serious crisis." And a banner headline on the Drudge Report asked: "Is It the End?"

When Clinton's New Hampshire co-chairman resigned last week after raising the issue of Obama's adolescent drug use, the issue itself received scant treatment in the media because Obama had disclosed it in his 1995 autobiography. "He has been able, by luck or planning, to control his own story, because he wrote it first," Fineman says.

The Illinois senator's fundraising receives far less press attention than Clinton's. When The Washington Post reported last month that Obama used a political action committee to hand more than $180,000 to Democratic groups and candidates in the early-voting states of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina, the suggestion that he might be buying support received no attention on the network newscasts. The Clinton team is convinced that would have been a bigger story had it involved the former first lady.
There was also a lack of media pickup when the Atlantic's Marc Ambinder reported that an Obama aide had sat down next to him and "wanted to know when reporters would begin to look into Bill Clinton's post-presidential sex life."

When NBC's David Gregory interviewed Hillary Clinton Monday during her round of morning-show appearances, he briefly noted her endorsement by the Des Moines Register before asking what had happened to her momentum. He pressed six times for a reaction to her husband's telling PBS's Charlie Rose that the country would "roll the dice" if it elected Obama. "So you're choosing not to answer that question," Gregory finally said.

The onetime leader's recent dip in Iowa and New Hampshire polls has been portrayed as disastrous by many in the media.
Sen. Clinton filing candidacy papers in New Hampshire last month. The onetime leader's recent dip in Iowa and New Hampshire polls has been portrayed as disastrous by many in the media.

Moments later, when Meredith Vieira interviewed John McCain, who had also won the Register's endorsement, most of the questions revolved around how he could win the Republican nomination despite trailing in the polls, with one query about his temper.
When Obama appeared on "Today" last month, Matt Lauer asked whether Clinton was playing the "gender card" against him, about his pledge to meet with hostile foreign leaders, and whether he thought the country was heading for a recession.

Journalists repeatedly described Obama as a "rock star" when he jumped into the race in January. His missteps -- such as when his staff mocked Clinton's position on the outsourcing of jobs overseas by referring to the Democrat not as representing a state but as "D-Punjab" -- generated modest coverage, but rarely at the level surrounding Clinton's mistakes

[snip]
But his recent rise in the polls hasn't brought the kind of full-time frisking being visited on the hottest Republican, Mike Huckabee. In fact, much of the coverage of Oprah Winfrey stumping for Obama bordered on gushing.

In an online posting Monday, ABC reported that an Obama volunteer wearing a press pass asked the candidate a friendly question about tax policy at an Iowa event. But several of the assembled reporters huddled and concluded that it was not a story, one of them said. Clinton faced a storm of media criticism over a similar planted question.

Some reporters confess that they are enjoying Clinton's slippage, if only because it enlivens what had become a predictable narrative of her cruising to victory. The prospect of a newcomer knocking off a former first lady is one heck of a story.
Halperin, who surveys political news at Time.com's the Page, says: "Your typical reporter has a thinly disguised preference that Barack Obama be the nominee. The narrative of him beating her is better than her beating him, in part because she's a Clinton and in part because he's a young African American. . . . There's no one rooting for her to come back."

Exactly- it’s such bullshit. And, as if to prove her campaign's point I hadn't even heard of many of those missteps of Barack, and I'm a thousand times more obsessed with politics than the average person. And every reporter, most of whom are white, seem to be afraid of even mentioning race, perhaps for fear of being called racist (I remember a column by Eugene Robinson, who I normally like about something like "Is Barack's ambition uppity" a very deliberate choice of word that seemed to cast a warning that even quizzing Barack about his overwhelming and driving ambition was tantamount to oppressing him and reinforcing the white power structure) or betray the slightest possibility that his position in the polls is a result of the Bradley Effect. Like when Elizabeth Edwards mentioned something like “it’s not John’s fault that he’s white and a man” implying that in this election that was a disadvantage and boring the press jumped all over her, or when John brought up the very valid point that there are still a lot of white people especially in the South who would not vote for a half black guy named Barack he was roasted for using the race card. It’s really fucking frustrating. (not to mention the Clinton campaign staffer who pointed out that Barack's drug use will be an issue in the general election got fired after a media firestorm. Like that is not going to be an issue and this shouldn't be mentioned? Of course it would be an issue. Pointing out the truth, apparently is a valid reason to apologize or resign

Though at least she gets some coverage- the MSM only mentions John Edwards in passing like he has no chance to win (which is why I get so excited and post anytime John is featured in an article somewhere prominent.) And that is the reason I hate the media.

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The Wisdom That Comes With Age

Three Dukies over at The Blue Zone (great name,btw) recently wrote a post entitled "Why People Hate Duke Basketball-Part 1" focusing on a "fan" at the Michigan game. In it they decry his media whoring, and according to their description (i didn't see him as I was watching on tv, but I was also washing my hair) it was a pretty egregious violation

"Did he do it to watch the game? No. Not even close. Did he wear a bright orange t-shirt so he could be more recognizable on television? You know it. He waved at the camera and jumped around every time the ball was in front of him. He talked on his cell phone, presumably to his super-proud mother, as she watched her son make an ass of himself on national television.

To top it off, when a group of casual fans (OK, the editors of TBZ and their friends) called this kid out for his media-whore behavior, he had the audacity to make a "T" symbol with his hands and follow it up with an even more douchebaggy "V" symbol. Not only was he acting like a complete sellout, but he was proud of it."

I think it's a general rule that upperclassmen find freshmen as a whole and generally really annoying. But in their description I recognized that what that kid was doing was basically what like 40% (i want to give us more credit) of Dukies have done at some point, though not as annoying and obviously as that guy. Last year when I got tired or incredible squishing and moved over to the White (non tv side) I would alwasy notice some kid in a mustard yellow jacket. And it would always annoy me and piss me off all 4 years that pregame whenever the camera would pan the Crazies that so many people would get all super excited and scream and flash their "We're #1" finger, only to go back to being quiet as soon as the cameras were off (I have a similar minded group of friends who were pissed at this as well.)
And so to be honest as much as media whores angered me, in the picture posted on The Blue Zone there was a far more unforgivable sin happening, namely the girl who was holding up a sign during game action, which is so unacceptable it's sickening (but not nearly as bad as a guy who opened up an umbrella inside during the Carolina game...leading to a Carolina come back that we barely held off 71-70 when JJ stepped out in front of Rashad McCants on UNC's Long Beach play, forcing Raymond Felton to throw the ball out of bounds. I'll never forget that.) The whole point of the game is the game, it's not your clever sign. Signs and costumes are fun and fine, but they are mostly for pregame or halftime, to hold up when the opposing team is near you, or during time outs to mock the other team and its fans. When the ball is actually in play blocking someone's view in Cameron with a sign should be an excommunicable offence.

And as much as I love Cameron (i'm trying to find a way to sneak into the Duke-Carolina game, and I plan on naming one of my kids Cameron as well) I for the most part dissapointed in the deteriorating of our chants and cheers as I went through my 4 years. At times of course they would be amazing (or like my freshmen year when we chanted at the St. John's game "Fire Jarvis" leading to K staring us down angrily, kinda newsworthy) but Cameron just seemed tog row tamer and tamer with most everything being what I called the "roll call" (chanting a player's name followed by 5 claps) or the same tired cheers, including the speeding up of "Let's Go Duke" so that chant which can be so powerful, ends up lasting like 5 seconds before being fast forwarded out of articulation. I mean back in the day, when the Crazies actually earned the title of Cameron Crazies they were making fun of a guy who's parents had both died (I'll admit I tried to get this cheer going against Chris Paul- "How's Your Granddad? He's still Dead") or being allowed to make fun of the other team's fuck up K has cutlitvaed a friendly Cameron where we are to generically support our team while using tame and inoffensive things against the other (at the Maryland game last year me and some friends tried to get a chant for DJ Strawberry "Pass-the-Rock" referring to both the ball and crack, for his dad, it seemed many people were scared to join in.) Of course my friends and I are assholes, we had a fantasy of sitting in the grad student section and injecting a syringe full of AIDS into an opposing player, to make teams fear coming into our house.

And so in order to be constructive and not seem so "back in my day" and old, here are a few chants I have for some of our team this year:

• Gerald Henderson: G-Love (repeated in the manner of the Landlord chant)
• Greg Paulus (who I always referred to as Special Sauce when he was teamed with Josh "Big Mac" McRoberts, and especially when teamed with G-Love): from the G.Love and Special Sauce song " My baby's got sauce/ Your baby ain't sweet like mine"
• Jon Scheyer (one of my jewish friends came up with this one): John-ny Sche-yer MA-ZEL TOV"
• for Zoubek (because when the Crazies started throwing up a Z for Zoubek it looked like a gang sign, and because he's far from it): Zou-bek's gang-sta clap,clap,clap,clap,clap
• I'm trying to do something for Kyle Singler referring to Cingular being the New AT&T
• Demarcus has his D-Marc chant (which is simple and effective)
• for Taylor King (taken from Harry Potter so everyone would get it): Taylor can sink anything, He never misses with his flings, That's why Dukies all will sing, Taylor is our King!
• and for Nolan Smith, the theme from Rawhide: Nolan Nolan Nolan/Keep movin', movin', movin',/Though the [insert opposition’s name here] are disapprovin'/Keep them Dukies movin'/RAWHIDE (i guess that can be replaced by Go Duke!)
• or just a generic "We're Duke. You're not." chant. they'll understand what's being said (or replace "not" with "dumb" or some other pejorative.
  
  

I don't know, I just love the alma mater, Duke (dear ol') and I just want Cameron Indoor Stadium to be full of obnoxious kids chanting offensive things or smart things (that we assume the other school wouldn't understand) to show off our intelligence and arrogance and smugness. Everyone hates Duke anyway, I just hope this generation gives them a real reason for it besides our fans being a little overrated now*


*though the Cameron Crazies are still better than any other student section in the country and are the closest thing to those masters of cheering and heckling, European Soccer Fans, that America has.

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Is It Basketball Season Yet?

alternately titled:"Oh Maryland; she may not be dead nor deaf, but she sure is dumb"

Though I'm still fully confident in Duke's ability to make a bowl game, I think Friday night was the official start date where college basketball practices could be held. Which means one thing if you're in ACC country; it's Basketball season. And so in honor of this occasion and Duke's regular season and tournament ACC championships, (and plus because this article is amazing) I'd like to make fun of the University of Maryland, a school that has never been, and never will be Duke's rival.
This is from Norman Chad's "Couch Slouch" column (via Duke Basketball Report)

To: The University of Maryland

From: Couch Slouch, Class of '81

Re: Graduation rates

I didn't want to write you all again -- I mean, just last month I politely requested that my alma mater eliminate Division I sports -- but several people e-mailed me some rather startling numbers about our hoops-playing, class-dodging student-athletes.

No Maryland men's basketball player who enrolled between 1997 and 2000 graduated within six years. This is commonly called a "zero percent graduation rate," and it ranked us last among the nation's 321 Division I programs --that's 321st out of 321 schools.

Geez, what happened to the academic legacy once created by Lefty Driesell?

Only one other men's basketball program in the ACC -- Clemson, 31 percent -- had a graduation rate below 40 percent. We can't do better than Clemson? Clemson? That's a Stuckey's with a student union.

The NCAA uses a formula called the "Graduation Success Rate" -- actually, in College Park, we call it the "Graduation Failure Rate" -- and this indicates that, uh, absolutely nobody on the basketball team gets out of Maryland alive with a degree.

Well, at least we're not cheating on exams!

I understand that coach Gary Williams is simply recruiting basketball players to win games. He has shown no intent in recruiting students who also play basketball well. But somewhere along the line, can't he find just one 6-foot-3 fella who will sit at the end of the bench with a strong interest in, say, metallurgical sciences?

He did not recruit a single player between 1997 and 2000 -- and that includes all the starters and top reserves on the 2002 national championship team -- who graduated at College Park within six years. None.

"I've graduated 42 players in 18 years," Williams said.

Wow, 42 in 18 years? Heck, MIT's rowing team graduates 42 people every two weeks.

A single woman of 38 is more likely to find a husband at a Daughters of the American Revolution rally than a Maryland basketball player is to graduate within six years.

Williams argues that while none of the top eight players on his 2002 title team graduated within six years, all of them went on to careers in professional basketball. And it should be noted that forward Lonny Baxter did get jailed on a weapons charge within six years of enrolling.

Now, if you ask most Terp alums if they would trade the 2002 national title for a 33 percent graduation rate or a better English Lit department, they'd likely choose the championship.

Great job College Park. I really do see that blush upon your cheek. So it seems quite likely that none of your players can actually spell terrapin. I blame Gary Williams. Spear the Turtle.

(and in the sake of fairness Duke's men's basketball team only had a 67% which seems kind of low. I blame William Avery, Corey Maggette and Elton Brand for leaving after the 99 season. Overall though we have a 97% rate.)

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A Truly Brilliant Video (if you hate the Pats as you should)

this was found on Deadspin and it is brilliant and speaks truth about the Pats and sums up how I feel (and yes I readily admit my hatred of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick).

Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat.


Well done Ryan Parker, well done.
(And since I know you want to sing along here are the lyrics and chords:)

[G] I never called Bill Belichick a [C] genius,
Cause [D] I remember when he coached the [Bm] Browns,
[Em] He was such a failure up in [Am] Cleveland,
The [C] franchise folded up and left the [D] town,
[G] I never said Tom Brady was a [C] hero,
Cause [D] I remember him at [Bm] Michigan,
[Em] Bringing Gatorade to Brian [Am] Griese,
[C] Except for garbage [D] time when he got [G] in,

So wasn't [C] it a little shady when this [Em] quarterback named Brady,
[D] Suddenly became a mega [G] star,
Wasn't [C] it a bit confusing when this [Em] coach who's used to losing,
[D] Earned the reputation that he's [G] smart,
When you [C] know which plays are coming, it can [Em] make a coach look cunning,
And [D] make an average quarterback [G] elite,
Cheating's [C] how they got their glory, it's the [Em] true deceitful story,
Of [D] Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat, [G]

[G] The tabloids say they've cheated on their [C] girlfriends,
And [D] someone should review their [Bm] SATs,
The [Em] IRS should look into their [Am] taxes,
And their [C] colleges should check out their [D] degrees,
[G] Mangini knew the tricks that they were [C] using,
So [D] he convinced the Jets to turn them [Bm] in,
Cause [Em] he was getting sick and tired of [Am] losing,
[C] To a team that [D] has to cheat to [G] win,

But Brady's [C] made a lot of money and he's [Em] scored a lot of honeys,
By [D] showing off his championship [G] rings,
Bill's been [C] praised because he's clever, and [Em] called the greatest ever,
And [D] lived with all the luxuries that [G] brings,
But let's [C] confiscate their Sony's, and [Em] expose them both as phonies,
And [D] see how many teams that they can [G] beat,
Some would [C] say it won't be any, if it [Em] is, it won't be many,
Poor [D] Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat, [G]
No more [C] lucky play selection, into [Em] proper blitz protection,
For [D] Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat, [G]
Cause cheating's [C] how they got their glory, it's the [Em] true deceitful story,
Of [C] Shady Brady [D] and Bill Belicheat [G]

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Post 300! Purely Self-Congratulatory

Wow, how the hell do I have 300 posts? Anyway on this momentous occasion I felt it's only appropriate to tell you more about the site in an effort for you to know me better, as a reward for you, you mythic loyal reader for being there for the last 299 of these rants and rambles.
So the address midnighttransmission, as well as the "title" of the blog A Dream or A Song comes from either my favorite or my second favorite song (behind Wig in a Box) from my favorite move Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
The song is Midnight Radio and when I was trying to think of an address and name for this site that actually meant something to me, but that would be somewhat familiar to other people I focused a lot on Hedwig and memorable lyrics from that film. The line "and you're shining like the brightest star, a transmission on a midnight radio" is such a pretty and hopeful image and that is sort of what I wanted this site to be (failed though I have); a beacon of sorts. And I also figured that a midnight transmission implies some danger and/or illictness and at midnight the posts I transmitted would be true and , in a way , like a beacon to reach others and tell them that I am/was here.
About the song, I actually get really emotional and happy whenever I hear it...so I think I'll put it here for you enjoy as well, though it really is better if you've already seen the movie (if you haven't, what's wrong with you? buy it, watch it, love it.)


As I think I've mentioned before the picture to the right, in that about me section, is of Candy Darling, one of my tragic idols who I'm just a little fascinated by. The quote " I'd rather learn from a bird to sing than teach 10000 stars how not to dance is from a poem by e.e. cummings. I stumbled upon it while looking for something beautiful to send to Hubby and I thought these words would be a lovely gift. It's assumed title, though cummings didn't title his work, is "you shall above all things be glad and young" {ED: and isn't that just a wonderful thing to wish on anyone}

you shall above all things be glad and young.
For if you're young, whatever life you wear

it will become you;and if you are glad
whatever's living will yourself become
Girlboys may nothing more than boygirls need:
i can entirely her only love

whose any mystery makes every man's
flesh put space on;and his mind take off time

that you should ever think,may god forbid
and(in his mercy)your true lover spare:
for that way knowledge lies,the foetal grave
called progress,and negation's dead undoom.

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance

As for the blog description, or whatever is in that I think it's a peach box, the quote comes from one of my favorite movies Se7en. When I started this I had nothing in particular that I was going to focus on, like politics or sports, or zebras, but rather this site was just going to be whatever was on my mind at any given time. Kind of like the journals of John Doe that Somerset is referencing.

For those of you (no one) who has asked, and more because I want to see my name in something fun when I vanity search in a few months my official and legal name will be Jacqueline Frances Stella Dey. I've always liked the name Jacqueline, it's so pretty and noble, not too common and exudes glamour and how it could also be abbreviated to Jacqui, which is so cute and functional and the fact that it means both (referring back to the story of Jacob and Esau) "one who supplants", which is kind of what it would be, supplanting my previous identity (Jacob did get the better of that deal), in a way, but in a more pleasant light it also means "may God protect." Frances is in honor of St. Francesca Romana who's feast day is my birthday (plus the fact she's from Rome means it is meant. to. be!) and Francesca would be too much. Speaking of Rome when I was there and studying Christian iconography and apse mosaic art, in most mosaic somewhere written in gold would be the phrase "stella dei" or something similar, which means Star of God. I think Stella is such a pretty yet hip name so I wanted it, and so as a last name Dey seemed perfect, to be a star of god, I couldn't resist. I'm a sucker for poetry. So that's how Jacqueline Frances Stella Dey came to be, or the name at least. (it may just be folk etymology or etymology that I just made up, but that's good enough for me. and speaking of folk etymology stella day, star day, star of the day, that works too.)

Finally, if you click on my profile I just figured out how to post an audio clip and I couldn't decide what I wanted to have it say. As of writing this the quote is...well you can just check it. But I love that quote! Hopefully you know where it's from. But I'm not sure if I want to stick with that one. I was debating between that and the last lines from Sunset Boulevard. I'm just worried if I stick with the Silence of the Lambs one, that along with the Se7en quote may make this site seem a little darker and violent than it really is, whereas if I change my mind and go with Gloria Swanson, well that and the picture of Candy in a director's chair could make it seem I'm fascinated by the ultrafemme and glamourous nature of cinematic stars in the Golden Age of Hollywood. Hmm, know that I write it out I think I prefer the latter. And this is totally how I want to go out:

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When Conservatives Get Owned, We All Win

And this time it's been done with their own words and actions!
One of Rudy's methods of refuting the many documented health problems that Ground Zero workers have been stricken with is to say he was basically one of them and he spent as much time in that same environment ( implying that either he's tougher than they are or that his policies didn't contribute to their declining health because, in his mind and to his knowledge the air wasn't toxic.) Well...about that. It has now been studied and reported that during those first few months after 9/11, while most workers were at the site, Rudy was busy watching the eventual World Series Loser Yankees play. In fact he spent about twice as much time with the boys in Pinstripes, then the ones in ventilation masks. Do lies and exaggerations just naturally and effortlessly come out of their mouths? And do they even notice or care when the truth is told? Who knows. But this is yet another reason why Rudy can't win.

Well, it seems that everyone knew invading Iraq and trying to occupy it would be a horrible idea. Including one of the main architects/evil overlord Darth Cheney. Remember in the rush to war the belief that our troops would be greeted with flowers and welcomed as liberators when they entered Baghdad? (if you don't, there's always video footage and transcripts.) Well back when Dicky was a newly ex-Secretary of Defense in 1994 he had a very very different view.

It hasn't gotten that bad yet (though never say never) and of course he'd never admit he was wrong. (cognitive dissonance much?) The level of depravity in that man and this administration and the ideological fanaticism at the costs of tens of thousands of lives...I'm disgusted. Let's move on.

And finally here is supreme ownage by Al Franken on Ann Coulter. It doesn't need much set up or introduction so just enjoy the sweetness.

Well done, well done.

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I Love Lily

Another reason why I love Lily Allen. In a concert somewhere in England Lily called Bush a "fucking cunt" which isn't that big of news (everyone hates Bush) but it still amuses me and makes me wish we were friends (aww.)

But speaking of fucking cunts ( though I don't like that word all that much) Barack's wife at a women's luncheon in Chicao said something like "if you can't run your own house, you can't run the white house." It's from the Drudge Report so of course its sensationalized but still "One of the most important things that we need to know about the next President of the United States is, is he somebody that shares our values? Is he somebody that respects family? Is a good and decent person? So our view was that, if you can't run your own house, you certainly can't run the White House. So, so we've adjusted our schedules to make sure that our girls are first"
I see. You've adjusted your schedule to make sure your kids come first by having your husband running for president. He started running "technically" in Feburary of 2007 even if he doesn't get the nomination he'd still be in and running till March of 2008. And if he does, god forbid, win the nomination and get's elected that's until January of 2013, at least. So your children are coming first by having their father running across the country for at least a year campaigning for a job that if he gets will take up more time than she can imagine, which causes him to miss more time with his children. And you're not really putting your kids first by speaking at some luncheon, instead of being with them.T here is absolutely no way you can run a high level and successful presidential campaign and "put your children first." It's an incredibly naive and dumb statement. The natural extrapolation of her statement is that the wife, or someone in the house, should be a stay at home parent to make sure their "children come first." And maybe if you weren't campaigning and putting "your children first" and all they wouldn't be exposed to the pressure and "negativity" that your husband says can take a toll personally on the family; like you know on your children.
And I know her husband is running but the fact she uses the impersonal "He" sort of implies that only men can run for president, negating everything that Hillary is trying to do and reemphasizing thousands of years of patriarchy.
If that is the case I really think Michelle Obama should just go home bake her daughters a pie and put on some makeup. I am so damn sick of her.
Or at least that's my take. (uh oh; my bias is showing again)

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*

[I'm a little scared to write this since some karma may be in play because after I wrote something badmouthing BALCO The Giant, the Dodgers sped up in their path to immolation by losing now 15 out of 20, but whatever happens now can't be as bad. Rock bottom is close]

So last night it finally happened. I remember flipping to ESPN as I normally do in my restlessness and they were showing a live cut in on the Giants game because He With the * was at bat. I immediately turned it off because I didn't want to be watching when it finally happened, but apparently it happened at that at bat becuase on the L.A. Times website they had a Breaking News Banner proclaiming Cheater as the New Home Run King*. I knew it was going to happen though I was hoping against hope that somehow he would be struck down, in a divine act of justice that would have reaffirmed my faith but alas it didn't and I had the same feeling that I think I felt when in 2000 Dubya was in the Texas State Legislature speechifying how "I am the President of You All" and then 4 years later with the election returns (and how moral issues were like the number one issue in the exit polls) and also when Palpatine ascended to become Emperor in Star Wars. It was a moment of finality, of when good seemingly lost to evil, of doom and despair and the world turned upside down. And in the case of The Unnatural I know no one respects him or believes in the legitimacy of this record but for a time He Who is More Machine and Technology Than Man name will be at the top of the record book*. But he's not the new homerun king, for Sadaharu Oh still lives and my he live for ever.

(and one more thing someone Streeter a new columnist for the Times wrote some article about how if you take prozac to "calm your nerves" and condemn The Evil One then you're a hypocrite, but what he doesn't mention (and at this point I may be talking out of my ass because I didn't read the whole article I was so disgusted) is that in this country STEROIDS ARE ILLEGAL. and even if it's a "symptom of a society looking for an edge" he should still be held to account. I mean the Times cutting costs and letting go of journalist have the money to keep this guy? Bring back Adande. Kurt Streeter, you're dead to me.)

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Careful There, Your Guilt is Showing

Editor & Publisher had a really thoughtful article on another way that He That Won't Be Named has been cheating all these years. Through that ridiculous arm armor he wears. I've been saying for a while that it gives him an advantage because it allows him to crowd the plate and effectively take away the inside part of the plate from the pitcher and also increases his area that can be hit. I guess in that way its within the rules of the game but its still b.s. (which is why I strongly advocate throwing at his head!) Of course that theory was perhaps shaded by my extreme hatred towards him so perhaps I'm biased. But Editor & Publisher seems to be quite a reputable site and organization (I mean look at how nice and classy that ampersand is in their name) and they lay out a list of mechanical and physical (as in physics) reasons why that armor gives him an advantage; you can read it on their site I'm too lazy to write them all here. But I fully agree with all of their assertions and it is shameful that The Disgrace To Humanity and the Game has been allowed to do all of this shit for so long with impunity. I hate him.

This next bit is not nearly as dry; Home Run Derby has a clip of The Unnatural in the on-deck circle and if his teammates actually did like him wouldn't one of them mention his fly was open. It's a video of a clip on a computer so it's already small enough (I don't think they have MLB's expressed written consent, shh!) but if you look at his groin its visible. Don't worry you can't see anything naughty, side effects of steroids and all.

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I Think I Just Threw Up in My Mouth

So He Who Will Not Be Named is coming down to Dodger Stadium, with his band of losers (ha! last place!) for a 3 game series. I should be more apathetic to this thing considering how everyone not wearing black and gold knows that its gonna be a b.s. moment branded in history with boos and asteriks but I just know that he's going to do it against the Dodgers, because it seems that he always gets milestones against us (and i had a feeling that if this day would ever come it would come against us- 71*, 500th steal, 500th homer, ugh). And the whole thing just offends my sense of decency . If I was a manager, and I've been saying this for at least 5 years, any time he came to bat I would have my ptichers throw at his head and I would gladly take the suspension and fines. I would be a hero for ever.
So I'm hoping that over the next three days whenever he's introduced that we don't boo him as we do, it only feeds his steroid enlarged head and ego, but rather just silence, I'm talking like crickets, or everyone at those moments can turn their back to the field and not acknowledge it. It's impossible to organize 5 peoplenot to mention 50,000 but how awesome would that be? I know people are going to go and cheer and be loud, its the fuckin' Giants who I've hated since before I was born (they cheated in '51), but those moments will say a lot. When they were playing the Cubs in Wrigley I remember Sportscenter showing fans who were boasting about how much they hate him and how much they were going to boo him, but it seemed that the only time there was an enthusiasm in the stadium was when he was at bat when it seemed the whole crowd was standing, which really pissed me off, especially because The Unnatural noticed. The Padre fans did it right last year with the syringe on the field (and that will be the last thing I ever say good about the Padres)
So fuck him, eat a Dodger dog whenever he's at bat and don't give him the honor of your jeers. He's not worth and the Giants, they're going to lose anyway.
I feel so bad for Vin Scully, but I know if it happens he'll handle it exactly like he needs to, the right way; he always has.
Here are a few things I would rather do then witness that moment:
Try to use a bathroom in J0-Ann's Fabrics.
Be a sheep in this guy's town.
Have her as my teacher (possible Harry Potter spoiler; I didn't actually read the article)
Watch Kelly Osbourne in Chicago, nightly
Be Britney Spears right now.

Whatever. Let's go Dodgers, and welcome to your blue heaven Scott Proctor

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There's Someone Else Out There That Hates Likes Me

This is from Deadspin and it is well worth reading. It is an interview with Jeff Pearlman the author of a biography about He Who Will Not Be Named on this site (let's just say he's a former Pirate and now wears a size 12 baseball cap in orange and black.) In this interview however, Jeff shows that though he tried to be objective in his biography of The Unnatural One, he has finally and fully come around to the side of all that is good and pure. Here are some highlights.

The truth of the matter is, [Forbidden] is completely, undeniably 100 percent full of shit. He truly is. I no longer buy his love of baseball history any more than I buy the sanctity of his marriages or the purity of his blood stream...[Forbidden] cares no more about baseball history than does my goldfish. He knows what Hank Aaron went through to hit 755 home runs, and he was more than happy to cheat, load up on steroids and HGH and surpass him...
[Forbidden] has never treated people especially well, so there's very little loyalty for the man. Do you root for someone who refused to sign a ball for your kid? Who ignored you when you asked for advice? Who told you you couldn't carry his jock? I still often think of Dan Peltier, the former Giant backup who brought his young son to the team's Family Day. When [Forbidden] asked the kid to name his favorite ballplayer, he said, "My dad!" To which [Forbidden] replied, "Why? He never plays."
[Forbidden] is a cheater...Forty years from now [Forbidden] will be what he truly is--a once-in-a-lifetime talent who gave into greed and jealousy. An asterisk and a big, HGH-bloated head....
I set out to write a fair, honest, balanced biography of a misunderstood legend. I did my absolute best, and the result is a book that I'm very proud of. I've received strong reviews, in part because I didn't take sides. Now that I'm well beyond the researching and writing; now that I'm beyond the promotional, 20-second soundbite push I feel liberated to express my conclusion of the whole experience.

It is this: [Forbidden] is evil.

So true my friend, so true. And I really hope every at bat he has at Dodger Stadium that we throw at his hand. His team and fans is like the only reason I'm reluctant to move to San Francisco. And I Hate the fact he'll hold the record for even a second. Ugh


But onto a good guy (except when he's beating the Dodgers, bastard) Craig Biggio is retiring after 20 years, which is kind of sad. Not for any real reason other than the fact that he is soo close to become the All Time getting hit by pitchers. Its a record we all can be proud of and believe in. So come on pitchers, do it for the integrity of the game. Hit Biggio! He only needs 3 more...

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Ok Last Linkapalooza of the Day

Just a collection of stuff that I found and that I decided you should know about ( I only have your best interest in mind)

• Glenn Close has a new show premiering on TNT {I think its on F/X; sorry my bad}. In the New York Times review she is lauded(?): "But there is no actor dead or alive as scary as a smiling [Close.]" It gets better "Ms. Close plays Patty Hewes, one of the most formidable trial lawyers in New York City. It is a role that brings out the very best in Ms. Close, which is to say her talent for exploring the worst in the characters she plays. Patty is intense, demanding and mercurial — gruff and ice-cold one moment and playful the next, her hooded eyes dancing with what might be mischief but could just as easily be the early warning signs of madness."And this is an incredibly positive review. I'd hate to see what Alessandra Stanley has to write for something she hates.
• I suppose its wrong to laugh at the misfortune of someone who "still has numbness and pain in his extremities" but I really really hate Notre Dame (and the Patriots to be honest.) Don't judge me.
• Apparently is not so much Man vs Wild as Man (with the help of motels and other experts, and editing and a camera crew) vs. Wild. I knew something was fishy with that guy.
• I fully agree with this blogger's assesment and suspicion about these steriod users. Except of course when he's talking about Jason Schmidt. That sir, is character assassination of a fine, fine man.
• This trend has always confused me as well.
  
• I don't believe this at all; we've gotten hosed way too many times. Speaking of Duke though, I'd much rather us be #119 (we haven't win a game in 2 years); at least there's some honor in being the worst as opposed to 4th to worst. You're on Buffalo.
  
• Poor Christine. I'm sorry you're debut didn't go as well as you thought it did. Totally one of my fears and worries. But fuck 'em; if it makes you happy...(and no I'm not corny enough to post that Christina Aguilera song....damn; my bad)
  
• And finally, some company has used a program to show what stars would look like as "normal" people. While some I could actually picture walking around (and John Travolta is creepy as hell) others like Johnny Depp are just weird. But the most revealing one is Keira Knightley. She looks so so pretty, actually more so than in real life. At least to me.
  
  

(a song of the day update; we may have a dark horse contender. This is getting exciting)

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Something I really want to see and something I really don't

(both originally brought to my attention via Best Week Ever, or BWE as the kids say)

Firstly the brilliant Wes Anderson has a new movie coming out Sept. 29 called The Darjeeling Limited about Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzmann as brothers who try to reconnect by traveling across India. There are so many things I like in that last sentence I'm so excited, plus the trailer looks really good and happy. I'm just hoping they don't fall into a trap of Indian Stereotypes or Orientalism, but I think they'll be able to avoid it; they seem above that. You can see the trailer here.

Something that doesn't seem able to rise above stereotypes is a show originally from Britain called There's Something About Miriam, the something being that she's actually a transsexual. (Whoops I hope I didn't just give away the ending. Here's a clip of the finale, if you must) It just seems like an incredibly cruel and mean spirited shows that play off of and reinforce transphobia and the belief that people are being tricked and all other fears and negativity. But the best part is its coming to America,
(hold your applause) because Americans aren't smart to come up with their own ideas and we all know how well similarly themed reality shows have succeeded in the past. And plus have there not been enough cases of violence towards gay men or transpeople by people who claimed they were"trapped and lied to " in similar circumstances, even on television? Hmm I may actually be offended by and defensive about something. Strange. Good thing no one gets Fox Reality.

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...When [Your Internet is] Dead

I was going to title this post "Things to Do in L.A. When Your Internet is Dead" in a rip off of the movie, (which was totally a rip off of everything Tarantino, back in the mid 90s after Pulp Fiction went huge where every crime movie that tried to be edgy had a similar ethos) but I realized that the last post title began with Things, and I am way too compulsive and afraid of bad writing like repeating words too often in something, without any artistic decision behind it. Anyway over the past week or so since I was sent back to the Bronze Age, circa 1993, I had to figure out other things to do. It was weird how dependent I was on the Internet and didn't even realize it. When I wanted to order a pizza I had no idea what the number was and I couldn't go online to get it, and I don't even know if we have a phone book.
I usually get my news from my 7 or so news sources but since that was out, I had to watch local and cable news and see them report about things that were weeks old on the internet, and of course only give it a cursory overview. And whenever something that I wanted to know more about came on television I couldn't just log on and check wikipedia or google it; it was horrible.
But on more positive notes not being tied to this thing allowed me to try other things. I started doing yoga again in the morning, in fact I formed a nice little routine. I'd wake up, feed the cats, walk the dog. I'd then come back work in my garden/backyard for a bit (looking after my tomatoes, fig and potatoes as well as playing with my compost and marvelling at my flowers.) After that I'd do yoga for about an hour then work on my abs for a bit (I may ahve to start working on my thighs- didn't ever think I would have to deal with those; ugh.) I'd then lay out while reading and work on a bit of a tan. It's a really amazing thing and everything together was so calming and tranquil- I'm totally going to try to incorporate it or integrate it into my daily life con Internet
Plus all this time away gave me some more mother daughter time and that is a truly fabulous thing :)

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Owned!

The Rest of the biosphere- by Humanity

Comfortable Weather- By perhaps, maybe, global warming.

Bill Gates- by the World's New Richest Person

Artistic Integrity- by Fergie (S to the E to the L-L-O-U-T)

Rocky Delgadillo- by the L.A. Time editorial board

Tony Snow- by the White House Press Corps

Justice, Fairness and the American People- by George Bush, commuting Libby.

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