A Transgender History: Rise of Hatred

perhaps not coincidentally hatred's rise occurred along with the rise of capitalism and solidification of Christianity.

Here is part two of Mercedes Allen's 6 part series on Transgender History from Bilerico. Part 1 can be read here

Transgender History: The Rise of Hatred (the Middle Ages)

The advent of class divisions, the acquisition of wealth and power, and the ownership of property fed a movement toward patriarchal governing that ultimately became threatened by the existence of female and transgender spiritual leaders. While patriarchal societies were gradually able to synthesize and later entrench the notion that females should be subservient, gender-variant persons posed a more puzzling quandary, because of their uniqueness. It was for this reason that patriarchal religions, which reached their epitome with the Roman Catholic Church, felt that they had to stamp out transgender people (and also gay / lesbian people, who were often thought of as mixed-gender of a sort in early societies) and demonize their legacy.

This helped to facilitate the development of patrilineal inheritance, keeping the reins of power in hands that grew ever more elite. The status of women was degraded, and by so doing, leadership also typically portrayed any sign of gender variance as "less than male." Dual-spirited gods and goddesses, thought at one time to be doubly powerful, were turned into contemptible, "weak" entities.

For the "Greater Good"

In 186 B.C., when Rome banned the bacchanalia (a pleasure-centered festival to Dionysus), an oppressive campaign followed in the Greek territories, keyed on preventing the lower working classes from seeking their own happiness and betterment, and pushing them to focus on the enrichment of owners, employers and country, and / or to become willing to go to war for patriarchal society. The system became an efficient, self-propagating machine, later evolving into one in which war drove the economy and power trumped reason.

Gender-transgressive and same-sex amoury existence, although greatly reduced, still existed to an extent in Roman culture, but was tolerated only tentatively -- and only if it came from the ruling class or coincided with the agendas of the leaders and generals. Around 60 AD, Emperor Nero reportedly had a young slave boy, Sporus, castrated (eunuching, in early times, was believed to be the primary mechanism of gender change -- "eunuchs" ranged in form from males whose testicles had been removed to those also given a total penectomy), and took him as a wife in a legal public ceremony (Sporus was from then on clothed as an Empress, and accompanied Nero as such).

Birth of the "Homosexual Menace" Campaigns

When factional battles would break out, homosexual and transgender tendencies or loves were often used to justify the destruction of enemies. In 218 A.D., Elagabalus (or Heliogabalus) became emperor of Rome, and was later assassinated, mutilated and dragged through the streets (222 A.D.) before being thrown into the Tiber River. Justification for the overthrow was found in Elagabalus' penchant for wearing womens' clothing and makeup, in his reportedly prostituting himself, in his offering a large sum of money to any physician who can give him female genitalia (never claimed), and from declaring one of his male lovers to be his husband.

When Constantine I arrived in 342 A.D., his fusion of religions (the Roman Catholic church was a synthesis of early Christianity with Mithraism and worship of the sun god, Sol), and fusion of religion with the state strengthened anti-trans sentiment as it bolstered slavery (which had by then become the lot of most gender non-conformists and adherents to older traditions) and set the stage for feudal witch-hunts. These later evolved into the Crusades and the Inquisition, in which any evidence of early matriarchal and transgender-venerating paganism was stamped out. Repressive laws which aimed to crush gender variance and same-sex love evolved into part of the Corpus juris civilis, the Roman body of law upon which many legal systems were later based, including those of England and America.

This occurred because it was necessary to the land-owners (chief of which was the Roman Catholic Church) to break the spirit of the serfs toiling on their behalf, thus pre-empting uprisings. Communal bonds had to be erased, and the idea of communalism had to be demonized. Pagan tradition was reinvented as "witchcraft," and quashed with impunity.

Transgender Saints and Joan of Arc

But in true subversive fashion, what couldn't be completely suppressed was absorbed and reinvented to conform with the new ruling ideal. Early cross-dressing heroes idolized by the peasantry were canonized, with the church reshaping the reasoning behind the admiration of those historical figures, thus co-opting them. Saints Pelagia, Margarita, Marinus (Marina), Athanasia (Alexandria), Eugenia, Appollinaria, Euphrosyne, Matrona, Theodora, Anastasia, Papula and Joseph (Hildegund) were canonized transfolk who were female-bodied but lived as male, along with bearded women Galla, Paula and Wilgefortis (Uncumber). Pope Joan (John Anglicus) appears likely to have been a legend, but this legend was likely cultivated for the same purpose. There are no known male-to-female equivalents of transfolk elevated to sainthood, so it is quite likely that MTFs suffered a zero-tolerance agenda.
In 1429, at the age of 17, Joan of Arc dressed in male clothing, gathered several peasant followers and presented herself at the court of Prince Charles, declaring that her mission and dress were compelled upon her by God, said mission to be to drive out the English from France. The heir to the French throne put her in charge of an army of 10,000 peasants. Ultimately, the drive would be victorious, but she would be abducted by English sympathizers (who called her "homasse," or "man-woman") and turned her over to the Inquisition in England. Although the French king had the opportunity to pay her ransom, he felt threatened by the emotional sway she had over the peasantry, and left her to her fate. Eventually, the Inquisition decided that there was not enough evidence to have her convicted of witchcraft, but she was burned at the stake on May 30, 1431 for wearing men's clothing, which the Church referred to as "idolatry." The steadfastness with which she refused to recant and revert to female clothing, and the fierce loyalty from the peasantry over what her cross-gender expression symbolized to them paints a dramatic picture of old tradition resisting stubbornly under the boot of the now-entrenched patriarchal authority.

Into Hiding

Little by little, gender transgression became more limited, at first to peasant festivals, and then one by one, those festivals were outlawed. Halloween, or All Hallow's Eve, which was rooted in early matrilineal Celtic society (drawn from celebrations surrounding Samhain), is the most recognizable event still surviving today. The Celtic Winter Solstice (Christianized as the "Feast of Fools") did not fare as well, because it developed into a trans-inspired mocking of the Church.

Yet even the Church itself appeared to assimilate some transgender motifs into its trappings, such as the floor-length gowns, jeweled trappings for hierarchy and such (having a son join the priesthood, after all, used to be referred to sending him "into skirts"). It may also have been that trans priestesses had somehow inspired the practice of recruiting Castrati for Church choirs, even though Roman Catholic rule had technically forbid the castration of youths.

While much of this change relates to medieval Europe and rule that spread at times to Asia, the Middle East and northern Africa, similar transformations happened in some other cultures, or were later imposed on those cultures by patriarchal conquerors or their influence. Native Two-Spirit tradition would persist until the arrival of the white man in North and Central America, and the genocide and cultural subversion that followed. Trans traditions did still persist somewhat in other parts of the world though, such as Japanese Noh dramas, which find their root in the harvest folk dance, dengaku. And in a few untouched places, notably among the Polynesian Islands (parts of Samoa, Tonga and Tahiti), communal and trans-affirming traditions would survive to this day.

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A Transgender History: Ancient of Days

Mercedes Allen at Bilerco has written a six part history of transgender people.
This is part 1 of 6.
It is incredibly fascinating, and not just because it speaks to many of my interests and though I knew some of it the more you know… Anyway I’m reposting it here just because it is thoughtfully done and worth sharing (and I’ll try to post the whole series as it comes)

History is written by the victors. Unfortunately, this tends to mean that a lot of truth gets lost over the eons, peaceful tribes can become demonized, portrayals of nature reverence can be twisted into "witchcraft" and a lot of the accurate documentation becomes lost over the years in intellectual pogroms, such as the burning of the library at Alexandria in Egypt by the Romans.
History was never meant to be that sort of boring "is there gonna be a test on this" sort of dry reading, but it often becomes so, because it becomes an onslaught of dates and peoples and events that we don't recognize. It doesn't help that with histories written by victors, many of the lives we might recognize ourselves in become obliterated from memory. Such is the case with most things transgender or homosexual, which at one time were seen to be rooted in similar human need. It was once said that there were three facets to our existence: survival, reproduction, and everything else -- and to the person who made the case, "everything else" -- which tended to encompass those things creative, imaginative and ingenious -- could be classified as "art." If ancient cultures bore understanding of this, then one wonders if transgender and same-sex love were seen as an art of their own... a creative exploration of love and affection.

It may sound far-fetched, but history (even if written by victors) offers little glimpses of reality at times, and many of these glimpses tend to indicate that the gender transgression and gay / lesbian / bisexual love that is often vilified today was once quite respected and at times even encouraged. As a transgender and bisexual woman, I'm not personally inclined to think of myself as better than anyone or to try to portray myself as such, but a careful look at history does provide a rewarding sense that I have something to offer, and am a being worthy of respect.

It is impossible to know the motives of the early civilizations' approach. We can only see history in modern light and with our own experiences. Without the economic and socio-political backgrounds to some of these notations, we don't know if transgender behaviour was any result of coersion, conspiracy or other motivations. I would like to think that much of the experience was genuine, although I'm not so naive to believe that accounts of castrated boys raised as wives of Roman or Turkish military leaders were consensual. History unfortunately sometimes can only touch the surface, not revealing the beauty and ugliness underneath.

Dually-Gifted, Dually Respected?

What we understand as transgender (in its many different forms) has been understood quite differently at various periods of time. In the earliest ages, people who were seen to bridge the genders were quite often thought to possess wisdom that traditionally-gendered people did not, and were venerated for this. As civilizations transformed from matrilineal and communal societies into male-driven (patriarchal) societies with rigid class divisions and emphasis on property ownership, those male-driven cultures reduced the status of women... and because they were threatened by a persistent belief that those who blurred gender lines possessed some greater insight, they set out to crush gender-transgressive people most of all. Into the modern age, transfolk resurfaced, but it is a long climb back just to restore any sense of equality.

In earliest civilizations, throughout Europe, Asia, the Middle East and Northern Africa, tribes of different types venerated what they often identified as "The Great Mother." In nearly all of these traditions, MTF priestesses (often castrated or with some form of eunuching, which included a number of different body modifications of the time) presided, and the cultures were primarily communal systems which held women (venerated as a source of life) in high esteem. Matriarchal in nature, the cultures often espoused peace, but the realities of early civilization and tribal existence did not always allow for this.

Roman historian Plutarch depicts "The Great Mother" as an Intersex deity from whom the two sexes had not yet split. Trans-gendered depictions of The Great Mother and Her priestesses are found in ancient artifacts back to the earliest civilizations in Mesopotamia, Assyria, Babylonia and Akkad. Some historians portray MTF priestesses as being recognized as something sacred, while others portray them as undergoing castration in order to subvert matrilineal rule and wrest religious direction from the control of women. David F. Greenberg, however, concludes that records of trans priestesses do date back "to the late Paleolithic (if not earlier)," suggesting that the advent of transgender priestesses was not simply a later reaction to feminine leadership and veneration. In some regions, particularily the oldest European customs, it even appears that some form of gender transgression was almost considered one's religious duty, at times (i.e. certain revelries).

Surviving Records

Displaying the earliest records of trans existence chronologically is virtually impossible, so I will sort them primarily by location.

The Middle East

In the Middle East (Cradle of Civilization), MTF (male-to-female) priestesses were known to have served Astarte, Dea Syria, Atargatis and Ashtoreth / Ishtar. Additional MTF "gallae" served Cybele, the Phrygians' embodiment of The Great Mother. Trans expression was also present in the early genesis of the Kumbh Mela festival in Allahbad (India).

For centuries, Muslim tradition differentiated between MTF transsexuals who live as prostitutes or criminals, and those in whom femininity was innate and who lived blamelessly. The latter were called "mukhannathun," and accepted within the boundaries of Islam. Mukhannathun could have relationships with either men or women, but only those who had been castrated or were exclusively attracted to men were allowed into womens' spaces. Later, it was ordered that all mukhannathun undergo castration.

Africa

In Africa, intersexed deities and spritual beliefs in gender transformation are recorded in Akan, Ambo-Kwanyama, Bobo, Chokwe, Dahomean (Benin), Dogon, Bambara, Etik, Handa, Humbe, Hunde, Ibo, Jukun, Kimbundu, Konso, Kunama, Lamba, Lango, Luba, Lugbara (where MTFs are called okule and FTMs are called agule), Lulua, Musho, Nat, Nuba, Ovimbundu, Rundi, Sakpota, Shona-Karonga, Venda, Vili-Kongo, and Zulu tribes. Some of this tradition survives in West Africa, as well as Brazilian and Haitian ceremonies that derive from West African religions. In Abomey, the Heviosso maintain trans traditions, in an area renowned for Amazon-like warrior women.

In seventh Century BC, King Ashurbanipal (Sardanapalus) of Assyria spent a great deal of time in womens' clothing, something that was later used to justify overthrowing him. In Egypt, 1503 BC, Egyptian Queen Hatshepsut ascended to the throne, the second Egyptian queen to rule (the first was Queen Sobekneferu of the 12th Dynasty). Possibly learning from the disfavor shown to her predecessor, she donned male clothing and a false beard signifying kingship, and reigned until 1482 B.C. She had one daughter, Neferure, who she groomed as successor (male clothing, false beard and all), but Neferure did not live into adulthood. After her death, her second husband attempted to erase all record of her. And Nzinga ruled as King of Angola from 1624 - 1653, cross-dressed and led several successful military battles against the Portuguese.

Asia

In Asia, Hijras persist even today, although their reverence is often limited to the belief that their presence at weddings is a good portent for the couple. They do tend to suffer in the modern Indian caste system, something that "eunuchs" of all types are banding together to work to improve (i.e. only recently was a Hijra able to vote, and now there have been Hijran elected officials). Historically, they have often worshipped the mother-goddess Bahuchara Mata, although some also worshipped Shiva in his half-man, half-woman persona, Ardhanarisvara.

Many early Indonesian societies had transgender figures in religious functions, including the basaja, from the island of Sulawesi (The Celebes). In ancient China, the shih-niang wore mixed-gender ceremonial clothing. In Okinawa, some shamans underwent winagu nati, a process of "becoming female." In Korea, the mudang was a shaman or sorceress who was quite often MTF. In February 1995, archaeologist Timothy Taylor discovered evidence of transgender lives in the Iron Age graves found in southern Russia.

Fanchuan was a name given to stage crossdressing, such as male-to-female performances in Beijing opera, and female-to-male acting in Taiwanese Opera. Chui Chin, a cross-dressing Chinese revolutionary and feminist was beheaded in 1907 for organizing an uprising against the Manchu dynasty.

Europe

In Europe, MTF priestesses served Artemis, Hecate and Diana. Early traditions thrived longest in Greece, and the mythology of the day encorporated tales of cross-dressing by Achilles, Heracles, Athena and Dionysus, as well as literal and metaphorical gender changes. The blind prophet Tiresias is often mentioned as a figure who had lived many years of his life in each different gender, and was said to have possessed acute wisdom for it. The tale of an FTM character, Kaineus (Caeneus), who was viewed as a "scorner and rival of the gods" and was driven into the earth by the Centaurs, is an example of Greek mythology attempting to subvert earlier trans-oriented legends. And Cupid was a dual god/dess of love, originally portrayed as intersex. The child of Hermes and Aphrodite, one of Cupid's variant names provided the origin for the term, "hermaphrodite." Some time between 6th Century and 1st Century BC, in the Greek Hippocratic Corpus (collection of medical texts), physicians propose that both parents secrete male or female "bodies" and that if the father's secretion is female (rather than male) and the mother's is male, the result would either be a "man-woman" (effeminate male) or a "mannish" female.

In the later development of Europe, early alchemists borrowed from pre-Christian spirituality at times, and some of these mystics created the concept of the "chemical wedding," a merger of male and female spiritual attributes to achieve perfection. Some alchemists saw this as a chemical concept that would lead to the process of transmuting lead into gold, while others touted that this was more of a personal, spiritual transformation. While much of this was later absorbed into secret societies such as the Freemasons and Rosicrucians, the belief hints at transformative and bigender-conscious reverence. Even the Bible has such "gender-wedding" imagery at times, in allusions to the "Bride of Christ" found in the Book of Revelations and some comments by later epistle writers.

The Amazons, a group of warriors often in conflict with Greeks and later mythologized, seem to have been thought of as trans, and Pliny the Younger referred to them as the Androgynae "who combine the two sexes." They carried double-edged axes which may have been symbols of intersexuality, as were those carried by the South American tribe that inspired the naming of the Amazon River.

In the Klementi tribe of Albania, if a virgin swore before twelve witnesses that she would not marry, she was then recognized as male, carried weapons, and herded flocks.

Years later, Joan of Arc was said to have followed in the traditions of Gentiles and heathen. In France, "gens" referred to matrilineal farming communities, indicating some pre-Christian tradition that she evidently had stirred up, inspiring older values and explaining why she had become such a potent threat to the church while alive (more later).

North America

In North America, as late as 1930 (with the Klamath in the Pacific Northwest), Two-Spirit Natives are noted among tribal communities. Originally called "berdache," a name of largely insulting intent given by Europeans, Native culture adopted the term "Two-Spirit" as a blanket term -- though in reality, nearly every tribe had at least one (often several) unique name for Two-Spirit peoples, with the names sometimes addressing different aspects of those populations. Two-Spirit actually covers the full range of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, as well as intersex and other gender-variant people. It was often thought that Two-Spirits had two spirits inhabiting the same body, and that Two-Spirit people deserved a special kind of reverence. Jesuit priest Jacques Marquette notes that in the Illinois and Nadouessi tribes, nothing is decided without their advice.

The sensational nature of reports of Two-Spirit peoples and the hatred they contained were used to try to justify genocide, theft of land and the dismantling of Native culture and religion. In Panama, explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa threw a King and forty others of a Native tribe to be eaten by his dogs, because they crossdressed or had same-sex partners. Spaniards committed similar genocides in the Antilles and Louisiana. In those areas where Two-Spirit traditions survived, they were later driven underground or supplanted completely by missionary teachings and residential schools, both of which were bent on destroying Native culture.

Inuit FTMs serve White Whale Woman, who was believed to have been transformed into a man or woman-man.

South America

In South America, MTF priestesses have been found among the Araucanians (southern Chile and Argentina) and Mapuche, although after oppressive Spanish contact, they were largely replaced by female preistesses. Some females in the Tupinamba tribe lived as men, hunted and went to war. In 1576, explorer Pedro de Magalhaes recorded this, and recalling the Greek legend of the Amazons, named the Amazon river for these Tupinamba. For the Yoruba (Brazil), the deity Shango is represented as all sexes.

Unclear, But Present

Although it's doubtful that all of these traditions had a common origin, and possible that some of these are trans only by coincidence, there do seem to be a number of similar themes tying them together. Sorting through them to find specific motives and beliefs is impossible, though, because so little of the original traditions was recorded or survived the various book purges over time. It is only possible to speculate.

Alas, history is written by the victors, and the victors were largely not transgender or homosexual / bisexual persons.

The Rise of Hatred (Middle Ages) next week

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LGBT Primetime Milestone Moments

I must admit I’m later than…something really late, but I’ve just gotten into friends. And by getting into I mean if it’s on I won’t immediately turn it off. I used to think it was so shallow and dumb and white but now I don’t care as much. With that background established and after seeing a few episodes with Ross’ ex I’ve just started to wonder if Friends was like the same show to regularly feature a same sex couple, and not only that but same sex parents? Especially in such a huge show. Which was so so popular with people of my generation, that would be such an influential step and something that I should laud Friends for and maybe give the show more respect than I did.
I’m not old enough, or bored enough to care about like the “thirtysomething” shows from the eighties so I legitimately don’t know but watching it maybe last night made me actually wonder
[According to AfterEllen.com the episode “The One With the Lesbian Wedding” in 1996 was a milestone episode so I’m guessing the whole same sex parenting thing must have been really radical.]

But that got me thinking, kind of, about other queer milestones in prime time and I found this article from CampKC to be invaluable (to the fleshing out of this post.) I tried to find relevant clips to jazz things up

In 1981, ABC’s popular Dynasty introduced Steven Carrington, the first openly bisexual regular character in a dramatic series. The network’s daytime soap opera All My Children featured its first gay storyline in 1983, when erstwhile heterosexual Devon McFadden declared her love for her lesbian psychiatrist. Five years later, ABC presented the first recurring out lesbian character in prime time (?) nurse Marilyn McGrath on the short-lived medical drama Heartbeat.

During these decades, television increasingly addressed issues of concern to the LGBT community. The 1985 made-for-TV movie An Early Frost offered one of the first portrayals of people with AIDS. MTV’s The Real World also dealt with AIDS, featuring HIV-positive Pedro Zamora during its 1994 season.
That same year saw the first televised gay male wedding, on the CBS series Northern Exposure, set in a small Alaska town founded by a lesbian couple. The first same-sex wedding between two women - with activist Candace Gingrich serving as the minister - came on Friends in 1996. NBC’s TV movie Serving in Silence (1995) related the story of Lt. Margarethe Cammermeyer, who was ousted from the military after acknowledging that she was a lesbian. But not until 2006 did The L Word introduce Moira/Max, the first female-to-male character to transition on the small screen,followed later that year by Zarf/Zoe’s male-to-female transition on All My Children.


Over the years, expressions of same-sex affection between women were more accepted than those between men. In November 1989, the sitcom thirtysomething lost more than $1 million in ad revenue when it showed two men in bed together, even though a preceding kiss was axed. In February 1991, C.J. Lamb and Abby Perkins, two attorneys on NBC’s L.A. Law, shared the first lesbian kiss on network TV. In 1994, over the objections of network executives, Roseanne kissed a lesbian character played by Mariel Hemingway, and the following year on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, the character Jadzia Dax kissed a woman who was the re-embodiment of her dead husband. A January 1997 episode of Relativity showed a passionate, close-up lesbian lip-lock (featuring Lisa Edelstein-Cutty from House), and two years later, TV lawyer Ally McBeal shared a prolonged smooch with a female office rival. Fox’s Melrose Place deleted a planned prime-time gay male kiss due to boycott threats in 1994, leaving Jack and Ethan on WB Network’s Dawson’s Creek to break that barrier in 2000 (in Spanish)
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The late 1990s saw the first shows with prominent LGBT lead characters. On April 30, 1997 - after months of innuendo - Ellen DeGeneres had the most famous small-screen coming-out, in a star-studded episode of her ABC sitcom Ellen that attracted some 35 million viewers. But not long thereafter, her same-sex kiss on the show prompted a parental advisory warning, and the program’s ratings dropped as it began to focus more on gay issues. NBC’s Will and Grace also broke new ground, though some viewers were disappointed that the gay male lead never had an ongoing romantic relationship.

Cable television offered the most daring series featuring primarily queer casts, beginning with Showtime’s Queer as Folk in 2000 and The L Word in 2004. In a reflection of growing LGBT economic clout, Canada’s PrideVision (later renamed OutTV) became the world’s first channel offering full-time programming for a queer audience in 1991. The U.S. cable channels Here! TV, Q Television Network, and MTV/Viacom’s Logo followed suit, producing original programs such as Noah’s Arc - described by The Economist as a takeoff on Sex and the City from an African-American gay male perspective - and the supernatural gay drama Dante’s Cove.

and in an awkward segue to something else that is kind of related I guess, but you know how when on Law and Order Serena asked if she was being fired because she was a lesbian and it was like the first mention of it and seemed to come out of nowhere? (if you don't watch it here- it is like one of my fave moments

I remember thinking at the time that that was just so bizarre, and even Kathy Griffin in like her stand up mentioned how she was going through old tapes looking for clues, well a few days ago on TNT they showed the L&O episode "Gov Love" which is based on the Jim McGreevy thing where in order for Jack to get the murderer he attempts to invalidate gay marriages in the state. Watching that episode now Serena is really just pissed the whole time and offended and refuses to help Jack go along with branding people second class citizens, which you could've attributed to her just being a liberal or someone with a conscience but now, knowing that she's a lesbian you can tell that it was an attempt to show that it was a very personal issue for her. Oh Serena, I really wish I had enjoyed her as much when she was still on the show as I do now in retrospect.

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The Amazing Elizabeth Edwards

I wasn't going to focus really on politics or the Election at all today (besides to mention in passing how proud I am of the University of Iowa for keeping their dorms closed on Caucus night to enable their students to spend more time with their families, something that they'll cherish forever, that Ambassador Wilson is a wise man, and some people aren't acknowledging their flip-flops) but Slate had a profile of one of my favorite people, such a strong brave and amazing woman, Elizabeth Edwards. Here are some illuminating passages ( and in its entirety at Slate)

the Edwards place is 28,000 square feet if you include the squash court, with ceilings as high as in some actual cathedrals, and a fireplace in which one could roast a spitted ox. Honestly, if Elizabeth wanted to sit by an indoor waterfall or watch ballgames in her very own stadium out back, who could begrudge her? But this trophy home is at odds not only with her husband's campaign message, but with the way she herself comes across. I would have said it wasn't possible to love both Henry James and a house that could be a Marriot

"I wish my makeup looked like that," she says in greeting, having blown off putting hers on so we'd have more time to talk. In a plum pantsuit and stocking feet, with just a speck of green glitter under one eye from whatever do-it-yourself project she's been up to, she draws one leg up on the couch beside her, and chin on palm on knee, settles in to talk about the recurrence of her cancer—which she feels her husband's rivals are trying to use against him—and her 30 years of marriage to a man "who turned whatever harebrained idea I had into action." Though no more harebrained—or hairbrained, for that matter—than Hillary Clinton, she usually underplays her political savvy, casting herself as the dreamer and her husband as the doer: "That's what makes us a good pair; he gets bored, honestly, just thinking about a problem, and that's why he was so frustrated in the Senate.

he bemoans the fact that the long hallway that connects the main house to the rec complex adds a couple thousand square-footage to the total. The whole point of the campaign, she says, is that John wants everyone to get a fair shot at their dream house—via affordable college, available health care, and decent-paying jobs. Mind you, Republican presidential aspirant "Mitt Romney has tons more money and people don't complain." Nevertheless, "I'm not going to argue I don't have a nice house," she says, but then does: "You've been in our house; you don't say it's exceedingly grand, you say it's exceedingly comfortable. This is not a mansion in the clouds, it's a house where you can come and bring the dogs." Why can't others see it as she does, she wonders, "More as a love story than a macho, muscle-flexing" exercise in look-at-my-big-ol'-house? "I found the land before I had cancer, I drew the house up, and he let me build it."

When I suggest that we mostly wonder why he'd do that in the middle of a presidential campaign, knowing he'd be criticized for living in the wrong half of the Two Americas he talks about, she asks, "Wouldn't that have been worse, really?"—to refrain from doing so just for the sake of appearances? Worse as in more hypocritical? Yes.

friends insist that their 102-acre spread is actually 100 percent Elizabeth, whose husband doesn't any more mind where they live than he does where they buy their clothes (Ross: Dress for Less) or household goods (Target) or celebrate their wedding anniversary (Wendy's). No, the house was all her, trying to provide every conceivable amenity for her kids now, in case she isn't around to shop for them later. It was her, putting their money into what they both value most: not cars and jewelry, but home and family. And by her own account, it was her compensating for the succession of modest homes she grew up in as a Navy brat: "From years of living in military housing, I like a big room," she says, and recalls how some of the bedrooms she had as a kid were so dinky you couldn't even fit the bed in and still close the door all the way. "My dream was to turn in circles if you wanted to." So if there are contradictions on display, she says, they are her own and not her husband's. Which is her position always, as arguably the most protective spouse on the presidential block, a woman who, particularly since the death of their 16-year-old son, Wade, in 1996, instinctively tries to get between her husband and incoming fire: "Blame me, don't blame John," she says, even if in this we never seem to follow her advice.

the match was not immediately recognized as one between equals; she was a phenomenon from the first day, and he was shyer, more soft-spoken. He was small-town, she'd lived all over the world; he was straight out of college, she was four years older; he was completely practical, she loved theory; and he read thrillers, while she read everything but. As their daughter Cate, who is in her second year at Harvard Law, puts it, "She had been out with all these superintellectual grad-school guys who were rather cynical, and he was so hopeful it seemed naive to her at first. But he ended up making her happier." There is no question that today, she really is, as her '04 traveling aide Ryan Montoya puts it, "In my eyes, just like a mother in everything she does. She and my mom have a lot in common. Once, my pants ripped and she said, 'Get me a needle and I'll fix it.'

But her toughness and mommy-lion ferocity are less widely recognized. Though she and her husband do have some open philosophical disagreements—over gay marriage, for instance, which she's all for—and spar regularly over his habit of taking off for a run just as dinner is served, her feelings for him have never seemed the least bit conflicted. On the contrary, she is on his side with a vengeance, and by all accounts harder on staff than the candidate himself is, never over her own status as a principal, but over how her husband is presented and represented. Though I haven't asked, their law-school friend Glenn Bergenfield volunteers that, "She makes some very hard judgments on the people side. It's very hard for me to imagine John firing anybody from the campaign. He's a fighter pilot, but not hard on people, and I can't imagine him ever saying, 'You're not doing a good job,' whereas Elizabeth can. She's the mother of America, but also expects that when people say they're going to do something, they do it."

She also shows annoyance at some of the reaction to the recurrence of her cancer. Her husband's supporters have always seen her as proof of his depth and substance, and detractors as his literal better half. But since her cancer came back last March, her health and their partnership have become even more central to the question of what an Edwards White House would look like. Sure, "We're all going to die," as she told Katie Couric on 60 Minutes. But as anybody who's had cancer—and I belong to that not-very-exclusive club—can attest, reminders of mortality can send even some lifelong friends diving under the furniture. A blogger on the Web site Jezebel laid out the concern bluntly: "Say Edwards wins, and Elizabeth dies two years in. I cannot imagine the strain of mourning your spouse, caring for your children and being president of the U.S."

This is the kind of talk that really pisses off the candidate's wife, who was in any case weary of her status as Saint Elizabeth: "I've got enough reconnaissance to know where some of this is coming from, and it's not all from people who are concerned." Though no such links have been proven—and of course, they almost never are—she suggests that her husband's rivals have been push-polling on her health in Iowa, and that voters often tell her they've been warned by supporters of other campaigns that because of her, her husband isn't in the race to stay.

To which she has a few blunt objects to toss in response: "One, he's already been through the worst, and the loss of a spouse is not as devastating as the loss of a child. Nobody else—John McCain, I guess—has been tested the way John has, and all of our greatest presidents have had staggering causes for grief. Lincoln, Kennedy, Jefferson, our great presidents, almost always had personal tests." Besides which, "There's no reason to believe—John just heard about a new treatment, and bless his heart, is calling doctors to find out about it—but my protocol is working now!" And if that changed, she knows from watching him after Wade died that his reaction would be to try to "turn the turmoil into something positive." That's what led him into politics in the first place.

Even after finding a lump the size of an egg in her breast in 2004, Elizabeth decided not to tell her husband right away. It was 12 days before the presidential election, and one of her worries was that he would insist on attending to her at the expense of the campaign. Another was that if anybody found out why the vice presidential nominee was distracted, he'd be accused of trying to capitalize on the situation. That particular concern—that the reaction of the press to a woman with breast cancer would be to suspect her mate of milking the situation—doubtless says even more about us than it does about them
After Wade died, she'd promised herself he would never have to hear bad news again. Not if there was any way she could spare him.

This year, on their 30th anniversary, they renewed their wedding vows in a private ceremony out back. What their union most suggests about the kind of president her husband would make, she says, pulling her hair off her face, is that "with John, you say the good things and the bad things; that's the interaction in our family and home, so you could expect a high degree of candor" from him in the White House.

And I believe Elizabeth when she says the main effect of her cancer recurrence on her husband is that it's made him more himself—more driven and impatient, because the country and the planet don't have all the time in the world, either: "This isn't anger, it's urgency about where we start as a country, and clarity about where the problems lie.”

She is so strong and inspiring and amazing. I love her so much... I hope I can be like her when I'm older....

SO even if you’re somehow on the fence about John, Vote Elizabeth! (America's Mother)
[Here's a follow up]
(and here is Seamus Heaney' "The Cure at Troy" that I think the author was referencing)

Human beings suffer,
They torture one another,
They get hurt and get hard.
No poem or play or song
Can fully right a wrong
Inflicted and endured.

The innocent in gaols
Beat on their bars together.
A hunger-striker's father
Stands in the graveyard dumb.
The police widow in veils
Faints at the funeral home.

History says, don't hope
On this side of the grave.
But then, once in a lifetime
The longed-for tidal wave
Of justice can rise up,
And hope and history rhyme.

So hope for a great sea-change
On the far side of revenge.
Believe that further shore
Is reachable from here.
Believe in miracle
And cures and healing wells.

Call miracle self-healing:
The utter, self-revealing
Double-take of feeling.
If there's fire on the mountain
Or lightning and storm
And a god speaks from the sky

That means someone is hearing
The outcry and the birth-cry
Of new life at its term.

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Girls Will Be Boys and Boys Will Be Girls...

Over at Slate V Emily Yoffe “The Human Guinea Pig” explores the world of drag kings with the DC Kings performing a Tom Jones number under the name Johnson Manly (the best name in the thing though was easily Herbie Hind) Anyway “Johnson” makes an interesting looking man


I admit that I’m not that familiar with Drag kings as I should e (kinda strange actually) the only show I’ve seen was The Cuntry Kings in Durham (on the recommendation of one of my cul ant professors) but watching that reminded me of something I wasn’t sure if I had already posted (I really thought I did but I couldn’t find it.)
It’s a short documentary film entitled "What it Feels Like for A Boy (As a Girl)” about USC’s Rainbow Floor and their drag show during Coming Out Week (Duke has an annual drag show during their COW as well; must be a thing) and it really is a pity about the red head; she’d make a really pretty girl if she wasn’t like 12 feet tall.

Part 2

And is it weird that I’m not that into drag shows? I mean I’m all about gender transgression (obviously) and I really enjoy like the cutting comedy drag queens but lipsynching to bad music just really doesn’t do it for me. But it is a mixed up muddled up shook up world, and I like it.

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The Beauty of Poetry: The Problem with Presidents

From Harper’s magazine March 1975
The Sultan of Sewers or “When did I stop wanting to be President” by William S. Burroughs

When did I stop wanting to be President? At birth, certainly, and perhapsbefore. In this life or any previous incarnations I have been able to check out, I NEVER wanted to be President. This innate decision was confirmed when I became literate and saw the President pawing babies and spouting bullshit.
I attended Los Alamos Ranch School, where they later made the atom bomb. And bombs bursting in air over Hiroshima gave proof through the night that our flag was already there. There was the Teapot Dome Scandal under President Harding, and I remember the unspeakable Gaston Means. Scion of an aristocratic Southern family, infamous private eye and go-between in this miasma of graft, I remember him walking into a hotel room full of bourbon-drinking, cigar-smoking lobbyists and fixers with a suitcase he puts in the middle of the table. "Fill it up, boys, then we can talk business."

I do not mean to imply that my youthful idealism was repelled by this spectacle. I had by then learned to take a broad, general view of things. My political ambitions were simply of a humbler and less conspicuous caliber: I hoped at one time to become Commissioner of Sewers for St. Louis County. Three hundred dollars a month with every possibility of getting one's slimey little paws deep into a slush fund. And to this end I attended a softball game, where such sinecures were assigned to the deserving and the fortunate. And everybody I met said "Now, I'm old so-and-so runnin' for such-and-such, and anything you do for me I'll appreciate."

My boyish dreams fanned by this heady atmosphere and three mint juleps, I saw myself already in possession of the coveted post which called for a token appearance twice a week to sign a few letters at the old courthouse. While I'm there, might as well put it on the Sheriff for some of the marijuana he has confiscated, and he'd better play ball or I will route a sewer through his front yard. And then across the street to the courthouse cafe for a coffee with other lazy worthless bastards in the same line of business as we wallow in corruption like contented crocodiles.

I never wanted to be a frontman like Harding or Nixon, taking the rap, shaking hands, and making speeches all day. Who in his right mind would want a job like that? As Commissioner of Sewers, I would not be called upon to pet babies, make speeches, shake hands, or have lunch with the Queen. In fact, the fewer voters who knew of my existence, the better. Let Kings and Presidents keep the limelight; I prefer a whiff of coal gas as the sewers rupture for miles around. I have made a deal on the piping which has bought me a 300 thousand dollar home. Although there is talk in the press of sex cults and drug orgies, carried out in the stink of what made them possible, fluttering from the roof of my ranch-style house, over my mint and marijuana, Old Glory floats lazily in the tainted breeze.

But there were sullen mutters of revolt from the peasantry: "My teenage daughters are threatened by this immorality! Is this the American way of life?"

I thought so, and I didn't want it changed.

Sitting in my garden, smoking the sheriff's reefer, coal gas on the wind sweet in my nostrils as the smell of oil to an oilman, or the smell of bullshit to a cattle baron. I sure did a sweet thing on those pipes, and I'm covered too. What I got on the governor wouldn't look good on the front page, would it now? And I have my special police to deal with vandalism and sabotage. All handsome youths, languid and vicious as reptiles. Described in the press as no more than minions, lackeys, and bodyguards to his majesty the Sultan of Sewers.

The thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts. Then I met the guvernatorial candidate, and he looked at me as if trying to focus my image through a telescope, and said in effect, "Anything I do for you I'll depreciate."

And I felt the dream slipping away from me, receding into the past. Dim, jerky, far away, the discreet gold letters on a glass door:

William S. Burroughs, Commissioner of Sanitation

Somehow, I had not intersected. I was not one of them. Perhaps I was simply the wrong shape. Some of my classmates, plump, cynical, unathletic boys with narrow shoulders and broad hips made the grade and went on to banner headlines concerning two million dollars of the taxpayers' money, and a nonexistent bridge or highway, I forget which. It was a long time ago, and I have never aspired to political office since. The Sultan of Sewers lies buried in a distant, 1930s softball game.

And from artist Zoe Leonard a 1992 piece that is still relevant today, and will probably be relevant for a long, long time( with its original spelling and grammar: poetic license and all)
I Want a President

I want a dyke for president. I want a person with aids for president and I want a fag for vice president and I want someone with no health insurance and I want someone who grew up in a place where the earth is so saturated with toxic waste that they didnt have a choice about getting leukemia. I want a president that had an abortion at sixteen and I want a candidate who isnt the lesser of two evils and I want a president who lost their last lover to aids, who still sees that in their eyes every time they lay down to rest, who held their lover in their arms and knew they were dying. I want a president with no airconditioning, a president who has stood on line at the clinic, at the dmv, at the welfare office and has been unemployed and layed off and sexually harrassed and gaybashed and deported. I want someone who has spent the night in the tombs and had a cross burned on their lawn and survived rape. I want someone who has been in love and been hurt, who respects sex, who has made mistakes and learned from them. I want a Black woman for president. I want someone with bad teeth (and an attitude), someone who has eaten (that nasty) hospital food, someone who crossdresses and has done drugs and been in therapy. I wan someone who has committed civil disobedience. And I want to know why this isnt possible. I want to know why we started learning somewhere down the line that a president is always a clown: always a john and never a hooker. Always a boss and never a worker, always a liar, always a theif and never caught"

[Ed. Note- I strongly agree, but I’d be quite happy with John Edwards]

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So I Had A Dream Last Night

and it was kind of bizarre, though I guess a little mundane because it kind of incorporates and melds the two things that have been most on my mind the last few days, John Edwards' candidacy and (because of the upcoming one year anniversary of my starting hormones) transsexuality.
So it started and I think I ran into John outside one of his events and shook his hands and told him how much I believe in him and then he went inside to give a speech. During this speech, or maybe the speech was a few days later but during the speech John came out as a transsexual and naturaly it was a shocking moment and an emotional one as John said something like "no more pretending, no more" something and then he announced that he would be changing his name to Millie and I thought to myself "how southern" (and i'm not sure exactly if Millie is a southern name- it just seems genteel in that way.)And Elizabeth was standing right next to him and she had such a smile on her face, because she is such an amazing and loving person. Later on the front page of his website there was a seven page letter (which I didn't read because you really can't read in dreams) that had near the beginning an anecdote about John being with his son (or maybe ti was a story from John's youth) about having a boy doll and a girl doll and switching their heads-putting the boy head on the girl body) and it was just so touching and so real and vulnerable.
And the whole time I had such a sense of pride, because of the happiness I usually feel when someone comes out as trans and a guess in my dreams that is a high honor, but also one of sorrow because I knew that now John/Milie could never be President, but he could be a huge and leading force fighting for equal and civil rights.
Then I spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out what demographics could be cobbled together to form a coalition to win 270 electoral votes.
But yeah that was it; I dreamed John Edwards was a transsexual and it made me really happy.
And I didn't want to wake up.

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Sunday Morning Stand(ing) Up

The utterly fabulous and wonderful Margaret Cho

The Notorious C.H.O.


from "I'm The One That I Want"

2005's Assassin


and probably my favorite bit of her's


And I went through this whole thing, you know. I was like: Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized I'm just slutty.Where's my parade?!

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The Queen's Getting a Queen

Joining the ever growing ranks of homo hip hop heads ofMedia Take Out is reporting that Queen Latifah and her (girlfriend) trainer of more than 4 years Jeanette Jenkins, are engaged and that after Queen Latifah's finished promoting her current movie, The Perfect Holiday (didn't she just have a movie called Last Holiday?) the two are planning on coming out to the world about their engagement.
I can't say this is shocking news to anyone, it seems like an rather open secret (who would be shocked if Nathan Lane married his boyfriend?) And after all I mean Latifah is a big girl and all but to have had a trainer for so many years the results kinda make you wonder what exactly has been the focus of the training... (and I could've made that very dirty)

But I'm just happy to see that after the drama of last year with the rumours of infidelity on both sides and imminent break ups that those crazy kids made it work. It guess it is all bout the U.N.I.T.Y.

Good luck you two! and just remember Jeanette "when you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you"and...some of the lyrics to that song can be quite hilarious when placed into this context

If you want my gravy
Pepper my raggoo -
Spice it up for Mama
She'll get hot for you!

Let's all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew -
When you're strokin' Mama
Mama's strokin' you!

too perfect.

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Mean People Still Suck

and there are way too many transphobic assholes in the world.

"Calpernia and Andrea read some of the worst comments people have left on perezhilton.com and abc.com in response to "Transamerican Love Story", their new Logo transsexual dating show coming out in February"

I do really love those two though. (originally found on Good As You)

And from somewhere across a Pond-I can't tell by the accents if they're Australians or British, maybe New Zealand, comes these wankers

(from Queerty)

I'll never understand people who go out of their way to hate. Maybe it's just because I'm lazy but, I find it quite easy to just love everyone. Except for assholes.



(p.s., i hadn't planned on "over posting" today but..I felt compelled by those videos)

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One of The Best Things I've Seen This Week

When I first saw this on Good As You, I was a little wary because most of their videos are used to show homophobia and ignorance to be followed by a refutation and discussion, and so when I saw something labelled Midwest Teen Sex Show I assumed it would be something conservative and negative (my stereotype of the Midwest;sorry)
It was anything but, however, and was really really hilarious and lead to a few literal LOLs especially the lesbian coming out to her mom,the retelling of the disappointment of Scott's coming out being far less than melodramatic (yeah that happened to me too), and the girl lying in his bed in boxers. But it is tremendous and these girls are rather fabulous. (and the blonde actress I really thought was Julie from the Real World New Orleans)

Here is Episode 7 "Homosexuality in High School" from the Midwest Teen Sex Show


I really don't give the Mid West enough credit...

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My Favorite Person of Today

besides, of course, you!

So today my favorite person is, and let's see if I say this correctly, the Most Reverend Dr. Desmond Tutu.
While i was looking up some info on him I found these quotes that I enjoy

• "A person is a person because he recognizes others as persons."
• "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."
• "Good is stronger than evil; love is stronger than hate; light is stronger than darkness; life is stronger than death. Victory is ours, through him who loves us."
• "I give great thanks to God that he has created a Dalai Lama. Do you really think, as some have argued, that God will be saying: 'You know, that guy, the Dalai Lama, is not bad. What a pity he's not a Christian'? I don't think that is the case - because, you see, God is not a Christian."

but the reason why I thought to do this at all was because of his comments to the BBC about the Anglican church's stance on gays:

"Our world is facing problems - poverty, HIV and Aids - a devastating pandemic, and conflict. God must be weeping looking at some of the atrocities that we commit against one another.

If God, as they say, is homophobic, I wouldn't worship that God.

It is a perversion if you say to me that a person chooses to be homosexual.You must be crazy to choose a way of life that exposes you to a kind of hatred. It's like saying you choose to be black in a race-infected society."

He really is a great man of love and peace and those words made my soul glad.

(Okay, back to regularly scheduled filth and nonsense in the morning)

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Boys Coming Out (to the music of Sigur Ros)

and isn't that as beautiful as it sounds?

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The Best Coming Out Speech Ever

So I had a speech ready for today but then I decided National Coming Out Day yada and so I thought I should find one more topical and so as I was looking for coming out speeches and when I found this video of Stuart from the british Queer as Folk coming out to his family to spite a blackmailing kid (or so I gather from the video- I don't watch the show) I was blown away. (once again I had to do strange tech stuff I didn't know I could do because the original video had its embedding disabled by request. You can watch that one here)


‘I’m queer, I’m gay, I’m homosexual, I’m a
poof, I’m a poofter, I’m a ponce. I’m a bum
boy, batty boy, backside artist, bugger, I’m
bent. I am that arse bandit, I lift those shirts.
I’m a faggot assed, fudge packing, shit stab-
bing, uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs
restaurant; I dance at the other end of the ball-
room. I’m Moses and the parting of the red
cheeks. I fuck and I’m fucked. I suck and I’m
sucked. I rim them and wank them and every
single man’s had the fucking time of his life.
And I’m not a pervert’

I so had never heard like half those slurs before; this blog is so educational. Oh and if you wanna see more coming out videos you can go to youtube or here are some (more my speed) videos about coming out as transsexual, which I didn't watch but I'm sure they're heartfelt.

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It's National Coming Out Day

wooo! I'll be sure to wave my rainbow pom poms. I guess.
So today is National Coming Out Day and I'm not sure how or if you're exactly supposed to celebrate it. I assume by coming out? uhhh Hi; I'm a m2f transsexual. Haven't we gone through this already? Anyway at this point I have no idea who I have left to come out to so....
I still wanted to do something special though because I love fake national holidays and the idea of coming out led me to thinking about my favorite "coming out" scene in cinema; the scene at the end of one of my all time favorite movies Fucking Åmål (Show me Love in english.) At this point though I ran into a problem because the only youtube version was so bootleg, like shot in the theatre where you could see people's heads in front of the screen and didn't have any subtitles so I didn't want to ruin the beauty of the moment with that. (see what I mean? I would never subject you to that)
So (the things I do for you people) in the past few hours I learned way too much about ripping dvds and conversion to mp4s and all other kinds of tech madness and through a lot of frustration. And something I assumed would take 5 minutes rather took like 3 hours. But it's all worth it because I absolutely love love love this movie and especially this scene. Setup: Elin (the blonde) is a popular girl who has a reputation as a girl of loose virtue, thinks she's in love with Agnes, who is out and ostracized as a lesbian, but society and customs get in the way until...
Spoiler alert if you haven't seen the movie I would love if you did that first because this is the end but, either way...


Ah! you don't understand how happy that makes me (or how happy it makes me that this actually worked.) Ain't love grand :)

Actually I think I can still and need to come out. Everyone, I Love You. I guess I'm a....I'm not sure exactly. What's it called when you want to love people of any gender or sex, in an asexual manner based solely on that they put up with you and enjoy reading your self indulgent rambling? Either way, let's make out!

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Good For Her!

this may make me like Microsoft a little more. maaayybe. From Valleywag (via Queerty)
Michael Wallent, a general manager at Microsoft, will return to work in January as Megan Wallent. He came out to colleagues as transgender last month, first in person and then by email.
[skip ahead]
Wallent hopes that when he comes back to work, "maybe there are some questions, and then we move on and I keep doing the work I've been doing for 11 years." But at 6'2", Megan Wallent will cut a striking figure.

I am far from a techie, or geek or whatever and so I have no idea how important "Michael" was but anytime someone comes out an angel gets cute little rainbow wings and so I'm estatic for her. Welcome to the world, Megan

And speaking of people who couldn't wait for National Coming Out Day (which is tomorrow) sources are reporting that Bow Wow (oh how they grow up- I remember when he was lil') and Omarion are gay. For each other:

But a source in JD's camp claims that the real cause for the split was that Bow Wow expressed to [Jermaine Dupri] that his relationship with Omarion was more than simply musical after the two were caught engaged in a sexual activity. The source would not go into detail but said "He (Jermaine Dupri) was going nuts about it. These two were in a main room in the house doing all this. Me and two other assistants was with him (Jermaine Dupri) and we saw it going down and he sent us out of the room and was yelling and screaming at them".
The source claims that during the confrontation, Bow Wow and Omarion confirmed what had happened.
A producer who worked on the first Omarion-Bow Wow single released only a few months ago, confirms that, "what was going on with them in the backrooms and in the studio was more than just two dudes working on music. These dudes was feeling each other like a man and a woman". He declined to go into detail but he also added that in the music industry it is not uncommon..."to see something like that. Folks do it all the time. Sometimes they do it for money or to get they deals. Some of them are just under the table with what they like sexually".
A former member of Omarion's group B2K... when asked about the two's relationship, he declined to say anything more out of "friendship". But he would neither confirm nor deny.

(yay totally unsubstantiated rumours!)
well I guess if you have to have a beard Ciara is not a bad one at all. But if they are gay I think they're both at that coming out early twenties final realization phase so good for them. I still won't listen to their music but it's always good to discover others on the queer team

We accept her! We accept her! One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! One of us! One of us

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What a Drag It is Getting Old

especially for those who may have enjoyed drag in their youth.
Sometime last week, or this weekend there was a story in the L.A. Times about an LGBT centered retirement home, Rainbow Vision in Santa Fe where there is some controversy about allowing the elderly straight to live there because of the fear that they would have to hide themselves and that they would be ostracized. I had planned on writing about it but I didn't know how or when and it was going to be basically "that sucks and I would really hope at that point in life people would not hold on to old prejudices and care more about waking up each morning and not slipping in the shower and that hopefully LGBT people of that age would no longer have to feel insecure and would have the strength to not give a fuck what others think" yada yada.
But then the NY Times wrote a similar article, not about the freedom that these elderly have found at places like Rainbow Vision but rather the prejudice that many felt in other retirement communities and the re-entry into the closet for fear of ostricazation. I guess I hoped that people would actually grow up and mature and be over all this b.s*.
I read someplace, I think it was in Australia, that is banning straight people from gay clubs because the guys feel like "breeders" go there and sort of view them as exotic and it is ruining the vibe of openness and making them feel uncomfortable so I can understand Rainbow Vision being a little worried about heteros living there but it's kind always kind of ironic to discriminate against those who may have discriminated against you. And as the L.A. Times article said they have to be pretty chill about it- they'd have to pass three rainbow flags on the way to the lobby.
And I was thinking about this earlier, while lying in bed not wanting to wake up, and I can just now imagine life in my 30s. In the 50s I still can't picture and being old enough to be in a retirement home is beyond my understanding. One of the main things that keeps people sane in those places, that I know of from volunteering, is having people to talk to, which the straight elderly take away by isolating their gay neighbors based on sexual orientation (at an age where no one should be having sex) or having kids visit, which many gay and lesbians never had. And so once again the words of the Who echo in my head, "I hope I die before I get old". That or, my kids better take care of me or else they're out of the will- I could see myself doing that when I'm old, surrounded by cats under a quilted blanket with a tea tray next to my wheel chair.

*(which doesn't make too much sense because I persoanlly allow old people their prejudice because they're old and will die soon. eh)

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It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere- Rainbow Bright Edition

An hour and a half ago I forgot that I do these things and so I had no idea what should be my inspiration for a drink of the week. But then I checked my e-mail and apparently I'm still on some Duke listservs one of them sent out to remind everyone that this weekend is N.C. Pride weekend , which is kind of a big deal for many reasons not least of which it culminates with a parade and gathering on East Campus. So I took that as my motivation and stealing a LGBT symbol I decided to focus and find "rainbow" themed drinks. Enjoy (and you don't have to be gay to enjoy them either- alcohol is alcohol y'know)


Rainbow Cocktail

1/2 part Vodka
1/2 part Aftershock® (blue)
1/2 part Aftershock® (red)
1/2 part Banana liqueur
1/2 part Blue curaçao
1/2 part Crème de menthe (green)
top up Soda water
1/2 Lemonade
Lemon slice
2 tablespoons Sour mix
Ice (crushed)
Blue cocktail cherry
Lime slice

Directions:
packed crushed ice, add all ingredients, add lemonade, add soda, add sours
garnish


Over the Rainbow
2 oz rum (spiced)
1 oz orange curacao liqueur
2 scoops rainbow sherbert
4 slices peeled peaches
2 strawberries

Combine all ingredients with one cup of crushed ice in a blender. Blend until smooth, and pour into a parfait glass. Garnish with a strawberry and a slice of peach, and serve.

Rainbow Brew
1 oz Malibu® coconut rum
1 oz triple sec
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1 1/2 oz vodka
4 oz cranberry juice
2 splashes peach schnapps

Pour slowly into a hurricane glass, in order.



Rainbow Brite
1 oz gin
2 oz tonic water
1 scoop sherbet

Mix the gin and tonic, then add the sherbert. It should foam up in a rainbow like a root beer float.

Rainbow Orgy
1/2 oz Midori® melon liqueur
1/2 oz strawberry liqueur
1/2 oz banana liqueur
4 1/2 oz orange juice

Pour the Midori melon liqueur, strawberry liqueur and banana liqueur into a cocktail shaker one-third filled with ice cubes. Shake well, and pour entire contents into a highball glass. Top with orange juice, and serve.


Rainbow Road
1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz lemon liqueur
5 oz lemon-lime mix
1 splash Blue Curacao liqueur
1 splash melon liqueur
1 splash grenadine syrup

Shake the first three ingredients and pour into a lowball glass filled with cracked ice. On the left side add the splash of grenadine, in middle the splash of blue curacao and on the right side add the melon liqueur. Garnish with a cherry and a slice of lime.

Rainbow Punch
3 Shots Orange Juice
3 Shots Pineapple Juice
1 Large Dash De Kuyper Grenadine
1 Large Dash Soda
0.5 Shot Lime Juice
0.5 Shot Sugar Syrup

Shake all the ingredients except the soda water together and strain into a sling glass half filled with ice cubes. Top up with soda water.

Rainbow Yellow
1 oz. Chopin Vodka
1/2 oz. Navan Vanilla Liqueur (from Grand Marnier)
1 oz. pineapple juice
1/4 oz. fresh squeezed lime juice
1/4 oz. simple syrup
Directions:
Shake over ice and strain into a chilled glas

and as a bonus:
Here’s a tribute to the Original Eight Colored Rainbow Flag

This is the meaning of the colors as they were included in the flag:
hot pink - sexuality
red - life
orange - healing
yellow - sunlight
green - nature
turquoise - magic
blue - serenity
violet – spirit

Live Out Loud, y’all

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Another Super Manly, Totally Hetero Post

because seriously what could be more manly than Lauren Bacall playing a Broadway Diva breaking out into a musical number at a gay bar in Greenwich Village? In the 70s!
Imagine the possibilities but imagine no more- it is absolutely fabulous , so fabulous that I'm shocked I didn't see rainbows shooting across the sky. Ah, it makes me really happy. It's from the musical Applause- Lauren Bacall (dancing with the village bois) and singing But Alive
"Eve- we are going to Greenwich Village!!!"


i would have to say that qualifies the shit out of camp- luv it!!!
I guess this is what they call pride

:)

(speaking of pride: Harvey Levin is gay- who knew? my gaydar is pathetic)

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Let's Call it TransTastic Thursday

and since it is Transtastic Thursday I decided to try this. ( A quick side bar: Once again looking at this video I can't honestly believe Chris Crocker is a top. If he is I would love to see who he's topping. Bless his leopard skinned heart)

Anyway I've been thinking a lot about having a post about Jimmy Santiago Baca and his Transvestite Poems but I didn't actually know when I would fit it in. But seeing how today is TMI Thursday and I have nothing really good for TMI tonight (seriously I know it's a "must read" but tonight's is going to really suck unless I get very inspired/drunk, so you can skip it) I decided to post it today. From an outsider perspective it actually has a lot of the emotions and desires and thoughts that I'm sure many (other) transgendered people feel. I don't know how I stumbled upon it anymore, but that isn't really important
I tried to find the text of these poems somewhere online but I couldn't so I tried to transcribe them as best as I could- the line breaks/ capitalization and punctuation are all mine. (but if you do know where I could find a more accurate text, or know of a place where I screwed up in transcription, please let me know- I won't be too upset, besides maybe at my incompetence and the fact I spent like an hour doing this for nothing) Either way I hope you enjoy them:

Transvestite Poem #1
I come out of the South
from the Darkness
Where Death Ferments
seeping from limbs
moistening what is Hard and Cold and
Alone at Night
I Say “I come from the South”
Out of the Darkness
like A Dream
a Storm beneath my Flesh
Two Faces
Two Bodies
A Hybrid Flower.
of Honey and Poison.
Half Moon Half Sun
Intoxicated on Fragrances
Stinking of Sweat
Smooth and Rough
Bearded and Hairless
with Penis and Vagina
Two Mouths Constantly Quarreling
Two Tongues
Twenty Fingers, Twenty Toes
In constant Conflict
There are Two of us
That were Blurred at birth
By some cruel
god.
always Alone.
Out of the Dark
like an extinct animal I appear.
My Body a cave I look
Out from.
With red eyes, sharp teeth.
I can easily kill. As surrender
I can Kiss or Bite
I can Smile or Snarl
Because I am made of Two!
I am opposite and similar
I am a Field of yellow flowers that I saw as a child
and I am a field of Cactus I now stumble through

Jimmy Santiago Baca- Transvestite Poem #1 (mp3)

Transvestite Poem #2
You do not understand
How much Pain
I am in.
You see, Memories of myself
As a Boy
Confused by being so Different
than other Boys
That Shame
Gutted Me
Created in Me a Dark Hole where
Each day I go to and Die in.
While other childrens’ lives were played in Parks
I crouched behind the headstone in the cemetery
And I used to weep my shame.
And while other boys watched TV or played ball
hung out on couches
I was drawn to dance on the Broken alley crates
Where lecherous Men and Women seduced me
And I survived my Two-Sexed.
Divined disease.
Deceiving Friends and drug Fiends,
Lying in bed with an Innocent lover
My sheets become Vile Plumage where I gorge on his Love
with vultured Hunger.
Aesthetic Pilgrim
whose shrine is the male Body.
Male Sighing. I love so much after he cums.
Male gripping Me
Male pounding Me
Male kisses- Rough, Horrible
Filled with Pain
Pain. Pleasure of Men’s Passion
as they Pillage Me
Open Me
Adore Me
Honor Me
Devour Me,
In their Hatred and their Love!
And then the dream is over.
It’s Gone!
And seeing my face stubbled, Ugly lookin’ again
In the mirror
Studying with Contempt My manly features
As if from a Grave that I just woke Up from.
Yearnin’ for the night to come,
when I’ll sing sweetly to Charm the Men’s
Lewd Attention and lure the Cobra from the Basket
to my Music.
Not the reflection in the Mirror this morning are they going to see.
Not Me plucking these eyes
nor the wrinkles on My face
but opening My compact, mascara
pulling out My eyeliners
My tweezers
The Mirror will begin to Open and talk to Me.
Like a Dark Curtain for an Actress suddenly to appear.
I transform into a Young, Sensuous Woman,
My lemony breasts of both dizzying Delight
Yes obsessed with
Flesh
With My Lust
With My Body
With the curved Wings
Of My Thighs
My Hips
My Legs
As floating across Their Hearts like Quetzal birds
in the Jungle,
filled with voodoo omens of sexual Fulfillment.
Thrones and Furs is what I Desire.
Down filled Beds and Comforters
Popular
Sought after
that even Flamenco guitarists wail their lust for Me.
Walking under the Peach trees through the flower Gardens
I forget the backseat cars as a sweaty whore
Turning tricks for American service mens’ twenty-dollar bills.
I open My legs to the Moon
Rings on each of My fingers
“Call Me you’re witch
as I kiss you as I strip My clothes off.
Make this night for Me,
Please!
For You
Please!
As if We were both Falling
Falling into a World Filled with happiness
for just That long
And not Us as we are
looking for Love
For a Man to Love Me
to Love You
to Love Me
Just This Night
For me
For You
As if we were both
Falling.

Jimmy Santiago Baca- Transvestite Poem # 2 (mp3)


Yeah I can relate. Ok just for you all I'll try to think of something worthy for TMI (and I'll also try to come up with a Stuck in My Head song- I suck today.) If not I may slack off and post something from the "early days" of this here blog. We'll see how everything works out.

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