a dream or a song: God Made Dirt

and dirt don't hurt. And now it's been scientifically proven

From the New York Times

"...indeed, accumulating evidence strongly suggests that eating dirt is good for you.In studies of what is called the hygiene hypothesis, researchers are concluding that organisms like the millions of bacteria, viruses and especially worms that enter the body along with “dirt” spur the development of a healthy immune system.

“What a child is doing when he puts things in his mouth is allowing his immune response to explore his environment, Not only does this allow for ‘practice’ of immune responses, which will be necessary for protection, but it also plays a critical role in teaching the immature immune response what is best ignored.
...
He said that public health measures like cleaning up contaminated water and food have saved the lives of countless children, but they “also eliminated exposure to many organisms that are probably good for us.”
“Children raised in an ultraclean environment,” he added, “are not being exposed to organisms that help them develop appropriate immune regulatory circuits.
.....
In answer to the question, “Are we too clean?” Dr. Elliott said: “Dirtiness comes with a price. But cleanliness comes with a price, too. We’re not proposing a return to the germ-filled environment of the 1850s. But if we properly understand how organisms in the environment protect us, maybe we can give a vaccine or mimic their effects with some innocuous stimulus.”
Dr. Ruebush, the “Why Dirt Is Good” author, does not suggest a return to filth, either. But she correctly points out that bacteria are everywhere: on us, in us and all around us. Most of these micro-organisms cause no problem, and many, like the ones that normally live in the digestive tract and produce life-sustaining nutrients, are essential to good health.
“The typical human probably harbors some 90 trillion microbes,” she wrote. “The very fact that you have so many microbes of so many different kinds is what keeps you healthy most of the time.”
....
Dr. Weinstock goes even further. “Children should be allowed to go barefoot in the dirt, play in the dirt, and not have to wash their hands when they come in to eat,” he said. He and Dr. Elliott pointed out that children who grow up on farms and are frequently exposed to worms and other organisms from farm animals are much less likely to develop allergies and autoimmune diseases."

You see! Cletus isn't just a slack jawed yokel living in stereotypical hillbilly filth- he's just helping to strengthen his 44 kids' immune systems. Take that Park Avenue!

I knew a girl once who had pica and we would randomly find her with a shoe in her mouth...I wonder what happened to her.

Anywhooo, I try to never use antibacterial soap unless I've been doing something really dirty, because I heard a few years back that bacteria can be good for us and I kinda remembered from high school bio about how those little bacterias being exposed to our body enable our body to build resistances to them and thus make your body stronger in the long run, and I'm all about preparing my body for the coming post-apocalyptic wasteland (without actually having to do something too severe and time consuming)

So in conclusion, eat dirt once in a while. Scientist do, however, still recommend you not eat shit. Sorry Divine (r.i.p.)